In-law problems?

[janet88]

Mine here loves to pass remarks on everything. Which is why I don’t invite them over…what for? To hear more crap?

[auntieM]

My PRC SIL just passed away in Beijing… …my MIL too busy minding her mahjong to visit her or grandson… …bo chap totally… …

[janet88]

auntieM:

My PRC SIL just passed away in Beijing.. ..my MIL too busy minding her mahjong to visit her or grandson.. ..bo chap totally.. ...

Oh no, what happened to her ? It's so sad.
I thought your MIL would have found ways to try to get custody of the boy.

[baglady]

janet_lee88:

Bcos of the closeness, there may be more friction esp where pampering of kids and in-laws tend to be sensitive, so can't tell them not to do certain things even though it's not right.

You're right, it's v difficult to tell them becos they also help us out a lot. Luckily my parents are the main caregivers, and of course it's always easier to handle your own parents! My in laws look after my boy once a week full day, or sometimes twice a week if my parents are busy or unwell.

So I told myself that I should just close one eye when it comes to certain things. But if it's v important to me and I feel v strongly about something, I will ask hubby to speak to them. If that doesn't work, then I'll have to step in as well. Must choose which battles to fight!

For now still not so bad, cos he is only 2 plus. I think more problems may start when he goes to school!

[janet88]

baglady:

janet_lee88:

Bcos of the closeness, there may be more friction esp where pampering of kids and in-laws tend to be sensitive, so can't tell them not to do certain things even though it's not right.

You're right, it's v difficult to tell them becos they also help us out a lot. Luckily my parents are the main caregivers, and of course it's always easier to handle your own parents!
But if it's v important to me and I feel v strongly about something, I will ask hubby to speak to them. If that doesn't work, then I'll have to step in as well. Must choose which battles to fight!

For now still not so bad, cos he is only 2 plus. I think more problems may start when he goes to school!

I was about to mention that...going to P1. School work isn't easy now, even for P1. I do coach my daughter and revise her work daily...she will definitely whine.
Fortunately my parents do not interfere where work is concerned. My kids also know better not to approach my parents to be their 靠山. The last time my father tested my son for his EL spelling...for every mistake made, he had to write 20x. That was in P2 or P3. HaHaHa.

[auntieM]

janet_lee88:

auntieM:

My PRC SIL just passed away in Beijing.. ..my MIL too busy minding her mahjong to visit her or grandson.. ..bo chap totally.. ...

Oh no, what happened to her ? It's so sad.
I thought your MIL would have found ways to try to get custody of the boy.

She was the typical 'dragon lady' and lost her hubby 8 years ago. The last 6 years she down with cancer also..
She took most of the $ MIL claimed that was theirs..
ILs don't like the grandson and they do not hide it.. ..their emotions I mean..

[janet88]

auntieM:

janet_lee88:

[quote=\"auntieM\"]My PRC SIL just passed away in Beijing.. ..my MIL too busy minding her mahjong to visit her or grandson.. ..bo chap totally.. ...

Oh no, what happened to her ? It's so sad.
I thought your MIL would have found ways to try to get custody of the boy.

She was the typical 'dragon lady' and lost her hubby 8 years ago. The last 6 years she down with cancer also..
She took most of the $ MIL claimed that was theirs..
ILs don't like the grandson and they do not hide it.. ..their emotions I mean..[/quote]That's so sad. I presume the boy's maternal grandparents would fight to keep the boy. Do your in-laws have a grandson ? Otherwise it's hard to understand why they are willing to give up custody for the boy.

[buds]

[quote]Now I have phobia in having another child. For me, it is an obligation to bring DD to my IL place for half a day every week and if we were to go on a holiday, we have to make up for that week using another day.[/quote]
[quote]mine also like that. they come over on Wed afternoons, so if we are away, or if they go away. they would want \"make-up\" visits. so calculating.[/quote]Gosh. This sounds soo nostalgic. Except that it was my hubs that was the
one dictating these rules. He'd be telling me that if the kiddies were sick,
then must make up 2 days the following week. :faint:

Then to make it worse, when MIL were staying with us hubs never bothered
to initiate ANY visits to my parents' place. Very sad then..

I knew my parents were very sad cause they knew the weekly visits i had
to go for when we were residing with them and of course one can easily
tell how unfair and how it was a case of double standards... clearly.

I was never calculative. Though he didn't come with us to visit my parents,
i made sure i made time to see them anyway... with my children. :love:

Thankfully, i have finally seen myself out of that tunnel and into the light.

Note : My parents are still nice to hubs to date and never tried to make
things difficult for him. In fact if without my parents endorsement, we may
never have gotten to get a good price for our current new place. :snuggles:

[auntieM]

Hi janet_lee88,

She met BIL working in Beijing and moved in couple of weeks later. When my BIL wants out she got pregnant…
She had wedding dinner with a 6-month preggy tummy and MIL made her wear white… …
They lived in Beijing for couple years then BIL was down with cancer and they head back for treatment…
Then loads and loads of dramas… …
After my BIL passed on she was the ‘tai tai’ for a short while, leaving her boy to the maid and movin to Bukit Timah…
She was down with cancer at 33 years of age and went back to Beijing about 4 years ago with her son…

I was only preggie when nephew was about 3 years old…
MIL has 2 grandsons, but I seriously think she’d rather they, or we don’t exist at all… …

[buds]

auntieM... my condolences.


You may not have been close to them..
But at least now one less drama has ended for you.. :snuggles: