In-law problems?

[bebe]

Funz:

Ok in most things concerning my ILs I adopt a 习惯就好 attitude. But this I cannot CANNOT accept.


DH just called me. He had to rush down to the Raffles hospital earlier cos FIL called telling him MIL's check up came up to $5000+ and they don't have enough money on them. The previous night, MIL called DH and told him she needs to go for checkup and she needs money so DH transferred $1000 to her account. When DH got to the hospital, the bill was $500+ and he settled it for MIL. Well MIL said she will transfer the money back to DH but seriously from past experience, we all know they will conveniently forget about it.

:x :x :x

I am not begrudging DH paying their medical for them. What I cannot tahan is their lack of consideration for DH and pulling such a stunt. He is working and he had to drop everything to go settle a $500 bill which both of them clearly have the money since DH already transferred $1000 to MIL.

DH is really pissed as well. And he is also feeling :stupid: . Cos when he saw that the bill was $500+ he pointed out to them and they said they still did not bring enuf cash on them. That is why DH still ended up paying for them. When I asked him why didn't his parents pay thru NETS using their own ATM card. He was stumped. Then he said yah, did not occur to him cos he was rushing to get to his next appt.

Maybe they are attention seekers, some elderly just love to have their kids ferry them to see docs...or even collect medical report.

[janet88]

Mrs Ang:

janet_lee88:

Mine here loves to pass remarks on everything. Which is why I don't invite them over...what for? To hear more crap?

Haha....mine will come uninvited and uninformed. My DH finally tell his mum to call before coming and she is unhappy and commented why we so troublesome!! :x

Wow, your hubby can do that. I doubt my hubby will have the guts to say that...knowing his mother's overbearing character. I'm so relieved and happy they are FAR FAR away. Hope they stay there for the next 6 months.

[janet88]

bebe:

Funz:

Ok in most things concerning my ILs I adopt a 习惯就好 attitude. But this I cannot CANNOT accept.


I am not begrudging DH paying their medical for them. What I cannot tahan is their lack of consideration for DH and pulling such a stunt. He is working and he had to drop everything to go settle a $500 bill which both of them clearly have the money since DH already transferred $1000 to MIL.

Maybe they are attention seekers, some elderly just love to have their kids ferry them to see docs...or even collect medical report.

Since it's his parents, no harm letting him be angry. But I do agree that these elderly parents now love the idea of comparing...some will tell others their sons bring them to see doctor, eat this and that, bring them holidays and hire maid for them...basically it's attention seeking.

[Chenonceau]

janet_lee88:

bebe:

[quote=\"Funz\"]Ok in most things concerning my ILs I adopt a 习惯就好 attitude. But this I cannot CANNOT accept.


I am not begrudging DH paying their medical for them. What I cannot tahan is their lack of consideration for DH and pulling such a stunt. He is working and he had to drop everything to go settle a $500 bill which both of them clearly have the money since DH already transferred $1000 to MIL.

Maybe they are attention seekers, some elderly just love to have their kids ferry them to see docs...or even collect medical report.

Since it's his parents, no harm letting him be angry. But I do agree that these elderly parents now love the idea of comparing...some will tell others their sons bring them to see doctor, eat this and that, bring them holidays and hire maid for them...basically it's attention seeking.[/quote]I dunno if this helps... For me, things got better when I started to treat them like teenagers with a mixture of benevolence and firmness on my terms.

We grow up feeling that we have to do what the parents ask, as if they're still heading the family. At one point, I realized that I am the head of the family now and it is for me to give them direction (gently but firmly). Once they realise this, they stop acting up.

[janet88]

Chenonceau:

janet_lee88:

[quote=\"bebe\"]
Maybe they are attention seekers, some elderly just love to have their kids ferry them to see docs...or even collect medical report.

Since it's his parents, no harm letting him be angry. But I do agree that these elderly parents now love the idea of comparing...some will tell others their sons bring them to see doctor, eat this and that, bring them holidays and hire maid for them...basically it's attention seeking.

I dunno if this helps... For me, things got better when I started to treat them like teenagers with a mixture of benevolence and firmness on my terms.

We grow up feeling that we have to do what the parents ask, as if they're still heading the family. At one point, I realized that I am the head of the family now and it is for me to give them direction (gently but firmly). Once they realise this, they stop acting up.[/quote]Aiyah, if only I can treat them as teenagers...problem is they still want to behave like HEAD of the household. If I can be firm with them, the old lady will start seeking sympathy from her children.

[Chenonceau]

janet_lee88:

Chenonceau:

[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]
Since it's his parents, no harm letting him be angry. But I do agree that these elderly parents now love the idea of comparing...some will tell others their sons bring them to see doctor, eat this and that, bring them holidays and hire maid for them...basically it's attention seeking.

I dunno if this helps... For me, things got better when I started to treat them like teenagers with a mixture of benevolence and firmness on my terms.

We grow up feeling that we have to do what the parents ask, as if they're still heading the family. At one point, I realized that I am the head of the family now and it is for me to give them direction (gently but firmly). Once they realise this, they stop acting up.

Aiyah, if only I can treat them as teenagers...problem is they still want to behave like HEAD of the household. If I can be firm with them, the old lady will start seeking sympathy from her children.[/quote]Yours badly need RIVP (electric shock).

[janet88]

I don’t know what those 2 need, but definitely I don’'t want to bother. Look after their precious daughter’s 2 kids, esp since the daughter said she wants her kids to be close to grandparents…by all means, pls go ahead.

[Mrs Ang]

janet_lee88:

Mrs Ang:

[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]Mine here loves to pass remarks on everything. Which is why I don't invite them over...what for? To hear more crap?

Haha....mine will come uninvited and uninformed. My DH finally tell his mum to call before coming and she is unhappy and commented why we so troublesome!! :x

Wow, your hubby can do that. I doubt my hubby will have the guts to say that...knowing his mother's overbearing character. I'm so relieved and happy they are FAR FAR away. Hope they stay there for the next 6 months.[/quote]Well this is because my MIL last visited us when my DD was having her dinner. It has been difficult to feed DD due to tooth growing pain. We were relieved that DD managed to eat the first few spoons. Then my MIL came uninformed and disturbed the feeding. DD refused to continue her dinner and we have to throw away her dinner. Although my DH has finally told his mum but I doubt she will follow given her character!

[janet88]

Mrs Ang:

janet_lee88:

[quote=\"Mrs Ang\"]
Haha....mine will come uninvited and uninformed. My DH finally tell his mum to call before coming and she is unhappy and commented why we so troublesome!! :x

Wow, your hubby can do that. I doubt my hubby will have the guts to say that...knowing his mother's overbearing character.

Well this is because my MIL last visited us when my DD was having her dinner. It has been difficult to feed DD due to tooth growing pain. We were relieved that DD managed to eat the first few spoons. Then my MIL came uninformed and disturbed the feeding. DD refused to continue her dinner and we have to throw away her dinner. Although my DH has finally told his mum but I doubt she will follow given her character![/quote]If MIL can be 乖 and listen, I think money will drop from the sky.

[Mrs Ang]

janet_lee88:

If MIL can be 乖 and listen, I think money will drop from the sky.

Yup and we won't have so many problem.