Appalled

[Funz]

flametree:

hi insider,

got a feeling that we are side tracking a bit and maybe should discuss this in the sec school section.

anyway, an example will be what happened yesterday:

we have a house rule that who ever is in the car first get to choose any seats they want ( after yesterday, realised that it doesn't work). so my girl got into the car first and naturally she chose to sit in front so that she gets full blast air con. my 4th kid (a 6 yr old boy) after training, fought for the front seat too - crying and pulling the door handle at the same time. this goes on for 5 minutes - while i try to reason with the youngest, my daughter simply will not give in. All this while i have a friend who is in the car with me!

finally my son gave in and sat behind after i bribed him with extra computer time - which my girl protested while in the car, coz she needs to rush project work upon reaching home .

when i reached home, both got scolding from me coz youngest boy broke rules and yet i'm ashamed that i got to bribe him - told him this will def be the last and only time! and as for my girl, i told her i was very diappointed with her in that she din assess the whole situation but just heck care, as long as she feels she's right... it must be her way.

any advice?

I have had similar incidents b4 but for me, I did not have any rules about who can sit in front but they take turns and if they cannot come to an agreement, we will not move off or neither will sit in front.

In your situation, I would will have to stand by the house rule since it is a known rule and DS should not be making a fuss. And if he continues fussing, then it is removal of privileges. As for DD, I will privately let her know that I am disappointed in her behaviour. Yes, base on house rules, she is right but it would have been more gracious of her if she had given in or made the gesture to let DS have the front seat.

[flametree]

Thanks for all the replies and will seriously look into my parenting skills!


When they were younger, parenting was so much easier! I could also use "stare power" and they would stop whatever that I don’t approve. But as they grows older, I’m always caught in between - whether to be a "friend" or be to be as strict with them like when younger!

BTW, I think i’ve long lost the "stare power".

Anyway, thanks for all the valuable sharing and a special big thank you to CKS coz if not for this site, i would not able to gather all these feedbacks!

[Miracle Child]

Hi insider,


The child is 9 years old, P3. I think the dad was upset becos’ the principal did not show any interest in finding out more about who the bullies are, how the issue can be managed, etc. He said that the principal was very indifferent about the matter…I think that scared him that the educator did not really cared about the child.

[flametree]

Hi insider,


Just an update, i've used the tips you have given me on how to talk to my daughter about the incident. She seems very receptive and understood how i felt then. However, she still felt that with younger siblings doesn't mean she has to give in to his demands all the time too. Probably i will need to \"drill\" this virture into her more.

Thanks a lot again. I've learnt loads from you.

[acforfamily]

flametree:

so my girl got into the car first and naturally she chose to sit in front so that she gets full blast air con. my 4th kid (a 6 yr old boy) after training, fought for the front seat too - crying and pulling the door handle at the same time. this goes on for 5 minutes - while i try to reason with the youngest, my daughter simply will not give in.

hi flametree,
sorry, sidetrack a bit. Do you actually allow your child to sit in front? I find it safer for kids to sit at the back especially if they are not tall enough - they might get hit by the airbag in the face.

[acforfamily]

csc:

But what APPALLED and SADDENED me is the breeding of a generation of smart but selfish children who simply put self above others and totally insensitive to the feelings of others. :!:

Someone who had a kid in a GEP school commented that he regretted sending his kid there as they are taught to question but not on listening. They think that they are always right. So it is important that as parents, we also have to do our part to teach them the right values.

[flametree]

hi acforfamily,


Years ago, it was a strict \"NO\" to the front seat. But years later, after 4 kids(3 boys!!! and a girl!! - 2 of them teenagers :!: ) and with age catching up, many of the \"rules\" gave way as i start to choose which \"war\" to fight daily.

He's big for his age and I'm ok as long as he straps up. :oops:

Btw our boys are from the same school! i know what you mean abt the voice level in the canteen during recess.

[acforfamily]

flametree:

hi acforfamily,


Btw our boys are from the same school! i know what you mean abt the voice level in the canteen during recess.

hi flametree,
You must be happy with the school since you sent all your boys there. I forgot to mention that PE seems to get cancelled all the time. Did your sons have that experience?

[flametree]

hi acforfamily,


out of 10, i would give maybe 7 for the school. There’s definitely room for improvements!!!

my 3rd son will be going p1 there next year coz of convenience - in terms of logistics and " i knew how the school work" .

yes, my 1st 2 boys got their fair share of cancelled PE lessons too, but not so because they r noisy but maybe teacher absent due to mc or school competition, bad weather… However, my boys do get library period forfeited coz of noisy, catch up syllabus etc.

my guess is - you kid got PE cancelled often coz your PE teacher also teaches your son’s other key subjects. Alternatively, you can get your kid involve in their niche sports CCA.

PS:my boy get his daily dose of "letting go extra energy" by playing soccer before school commences and during recess time. But sadly, nowadays, the school stop the boys due to H1N1.

[cluelessmom]

insider:

My eldest sis just shared with me a bully case in her 14-year old daughter's school. Her daughter's best friend was accused of imitating the style of another girl by wearing the same colour combination bands (now like fashion that girls will wear multiple bands around their wrist with colour patterns). The other girl blogged heavily on this issue, calling ugly names, etc, getting the others to ostracise the victim and sadly, some followed her calling. My niece's best friend suffered a lot for this ordeal (I think it is still ongoing). Not sure whether that friend is close to her parents. Under bully and still no one to turn to for help is one of the causes of suicide.

The thing is.... how do we protect our children from these bullies??? They are usu the ring leader, verbally and physically aggressive.... even if u feedback to the teachers or school, they appear pretty nonchalant abt it....my niece was also a victim of such verbal and cyber abuses and her personality was changed completely..... even my dd has experienced episodes of bullying where 1 ger actually creates a blog exclusively jus to diss abt my dd and tried to recruit other classmates to join the blog...... :x these kids shld count themselves lucky they deleted the blog soon enuff or else I will :nunchuk: