Appalled

[flametree]

hi insider,

got a feeling that we are side tracking a bit and maybe should discuss this in the sec school section.

anyway, an example will be what happened yesterday:

we have a house rule that who ever is in the car first get to choose any seats they want ( after yesterday, realised that it doesn’t work). so my girl got into the car first and naturally she chose to sit in front so that she gets full blast air con. my 4th kid (a 6 yr old boy) after training, fought for the front seat too - crying and pulling the door handle at the same time. this goes on for 5 minutes - while i try to reason with the youngest, my daughter simply will not give in. All this while i have a friend who is in the car with me!

finally my son gave in and sat behind after i bribed him with extra computer time - which my girl protested while in the car, coz she needs to rush project work upon reaching home .

when i reached home, both got scolding from me coz youngest boy broke rules and yet i’m ashamed that i got to bribe him - told him this will def be the last and only time! and as for my girl, i told her i was very diappointed with her in that she din assess the whole situation but just heck care, as long as she feels she’s right… it must be her way.

any advice?

[Funz]

ehh.. dun say RGS until like that lah.


My views, it is not only RGS that churn out students like that but most top schools have their fair share of such kids. One of the reason they are tops is most likely a combination of factors like the kid's own character plus how the family nurtured them and the values that are inculcated in them.

I have a relative whose DD went to a neighbourhood PR school but made it into a top Sec school (not RGS) and did well enuf to be able to choose any JC that she wants. But I find her really lacking in jia(1) jiao(4). We had a gathering and catered some food so naturally for buffet, we are using diposables. She made comments like we are so inconsiderate and killing the planet and insisted that she will not eat unless we provide her with normal plates, etc. I told her choice is yours but her mum went to ask my mum who provided her with the plate and since you want to use non disposables, then you wash up but no, she just dumped them in the sink after eating.

I have had quite a few RGS girls coming to my company for their school holiday attachment and I find that most of them are pretty down to earth. But I have to say that they appear very sure of themselves when I ask them what or how they see themselves in the next 5-10yrs. Whether or not it is what their parents have drilled into them, I dun know. But I get the sense that they are very driven and they are passionate about certain things and will play an active role in furthering their cause be it environment, women's/children's rites, etc.

When I was their age I was still living by the day, what environment and children's rites, my rites come first. :lol:

[3Boys]

flametree:

hi insider,

finally my son gave in and sat behind after i bribed him with extra computer time - which my girl protested while in the car, coz she needs to rush project work upon reaching home .

when i reached home, both got scolding from me coz youngest boy broke rules and yet i'm ashamed that i got to bribe him - told him this will def be the last and only time! and as for my girl, i told her i was very diappointed with her in that she din assess the whole situation but just heck care, as long as she feels she's right... it must be her way.

any advice?

I would have asked both of them to get out of the car and walk home......but that's my unsubtle, heads on approach to this, not necessarily recommended for other parents/children. But seriously, for a da4 jie3 8 years senior to fight over car seating is really infantile. You can show her this post if you like, this 'uncle' here thinks its just juvenile.

[Funz]

flametree:

hi insider,

got a feeling that we are side tracking a bit and maybe should discuss this in the sec school section.

anyway, an example will be what happened yesterday:

we have a house rule that who ever is in the car first get to choose any seats they want ( after yesterday, realised that it doesn't work). so my girl got into the car first and naturally she chose to sit in front so that she gets full blast air con. my 4th kid (a 6 yr old boy) after training, fought for the front seat too - crying and pulling the door handle at the same time. this goes on for 5 minutes - while i try to reason with the youngest, my daughter simply will not give in. All this while i have a friend who is in the car with me!

finally my son gave in and sat behind after i bribed him with extra computer time - which my girl protested while in the car, coz she needs to rush project work upon reaching home .

when i reached home, both got scolding from me coz youngest boy broke rules and yet i'm ashamed that i got to bribe him - told him this will def be the last and only time! and as for my girl, i told her i was very diappointed with her in that she din assess the whole situation but just heck care, as long as she feels she's right... it must be her way.

any advice?

I have had similar incidents b4 but for me, I did not have any rules about who can sit in front but they take turns and if they cannot come to an agreement, we will not move off or neither will sit in front.

In your situation, I would will have to stand by the house rule since it is a known rule and DS should not be making a fuss. And if he continues fussing, then it is removal of privileges. As for DD, I will privately let her know that I am disappointed in her behaviour. Yes, base on house rules, she is right but it would have been more gracious of her if she had given in or made the gesture to let DS have the front seat.

[flametree]

Thanks for all the replies and will seriously look into my parenting skills!


When they were younger, parenting was so much easier! I could also use "stare power" and they would stop whatever that I don’t approve. But as they grows older, I’m always caught in between - whether to be a "friend" or be to be as strict with them like when younger!

BTW, I think i’ve long lost the "stare power".

Anyway, thanks for all the valuable sharing and a special big thank you to CKS coz if not for this site, i would not able to gather all these feedbacks!

[Miracle Child]

Hi insider,


The child is 9 years old, P3. I think the dad was upset becos’ the principal did not show any interest in finding out more about who the bullies are, how the issue can be managed, etc. He said that the principal was very indifferent about the matter…I think that scared him that the educator did not really cared about the child.

[flametree]

Hi insider,


Just an update, i've used the tips you have given me on how to talk to my daughter about the incident. She seems very receptive and understood how i felt then. However, she still felt that with younger siblings doesn't mean she has to give in to his demands all the time too. Probably i will need to \"drill\" this virture into her more.

Thanks a lot again. I've learnt loads from you.

[acforfamily]

flametree:

so my girl got into the car first and naturally she chose to sit in front so that she gets full blast air con. my 4th kid (a 6 yr old boy) after training, fought for the front seat too - crying and pulling the door handle at the same time. this goes on for 5 minutes - while i try to reason with the youngest, my daughter simply will not give in.

hi flametree,
sorry, sidetrack a bit. Do you actually allow your child to sit in front? I find it safer for kids to sit at the back especially if they are not tall enough - they might get hit by the airbag in the face.

[acforfamily]

csc:

But what APPALLED and SADDENED me is the breeding of a generation of smart but selfish children who simply put self above others and totally insensitive to the feelings of others. :!:

Someone who had a kid in a GEP school commented that he regretted sending his kid there as they are taught to question but not on listening. They think that they are always right. So it is important that as parents, we also have to do our part to teach them the right values.

[flametree]

hi acforfamily,


Years ago, it was a strict \"NO\" to the front seat. But years later, after 4 kids(3 boys!!! and a girl!! - 2 of them teenagers :!: ) and with age catching up, many of the \"rules\" gave way as i start to choose which \"war\" to fight daily.

He's big for his age and I'm ok as long as he straps up. :oops:

Btw our boys are from the same school! i know what you mean abt the voice level in the canteen during recess.