In-law problems?
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cwc:
Hi CWc, interesting to read through this thread..& I was smiling in my heart when I read all ur postHa ha. This is interesting. My hubby has been complaining about my sudden interest in KSP as I have been going online quite a lot. He even threaten to come in and see what is getting me so hooked on....arggghhh, I shouldn't have used my initials
what a giveaway.
Anyway, this is my story....
My part-time helper only comes on weekdays and daytime. Middle-aged and quite a nice lady. One day, MIL saw FIL walking in wobbly manner, so asked helper to massage FIL's legs....helper agreed. I opposed but MIL insisted. So for next few days, MIL specifically gave instruction every morning to helper to massage FIL a few times each day....even instruct me to oversee and make sure helper does it.
One fine day, hubby came home early,
Hubby : How come helper massaging FIL leg? Who asked her to?
Me : I look at MIL direction
MIL : NO HOR!!! Not me hor!!! I din hor!!! Helper herself go and do it one. Must be FIL ask her to. Dun know why helper go and massage. I did not hor!!! (very vehemently denied) :shock:
Well, hubby scolded her and also insisted no more massage as helper is a lady, not appropriate. So you see, this is just 1 of the MANY MANY things that MIL will say/do and then denied vehemently
no wonder u were so ecstatic till u sms me about her discovery that the military set was sold off!!
Anyway, I don't have MIL to put up with, coz she passed away more than 10 yr ago..but from my hubby's description, don't think I will have much problems with her..In fact, wish that she's still around, coz according to hubby, she loves kids & sure will help us look after our kids, then at least I can work in peace, without worrying about my kids with maid..or rather, I think I will rather face MIL problems, than maid problems, coz I can't afford to stop working & my own mum is unwilling to help(which is another LONG long story) Basically, what a lot of u faced from ur MILs, are what I faced from my mum..isn't that much more worse?
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cool_hi:
:lol: hee hee....not just the military set, when MIL saw people coming to my place to collect the ikea tables & stools....I dunno how to describe her look. But too late, it's gone....so she went to hubby and commented that i should not have sold them, can place here, place there, etc etc. But then, hubby and I discussed and agreed one.... :celebrate:
Hi CWc, interesting to read through this thread..& I was smiling in my heart when I read all ur post no wonder u were so ecstatic till u sms me about her discovery that the military set was sold off!!
Better control control :love: -
:lol: hee hee....not just the military set, when MIL saw people coming to my place to collect the ikea tables & stools....I dunno how to describe her look. But too late, it's gone....so she went to hubby and commented that i should not have sold them, can place here, place there, etc etc. But then, hubby and I discussed and agreed one.... :celebrate:
:[/quote]
CWC,
Haha! I'm sure her look must be much more entertaining than any other comedy!! Hee...& probably she thinking,\"huh? like that also can ah?\"
It must be a shock to her that we can sell+buy things through internet this way -
Hi, will like to seek your opinion on MIL issue… My MIL is currently taking care of DS who’s in full-day CC. We have been giving her $900 and FIL $250 till now. I have just had a DD and am thinking of letting my own mum taking care of her.
Reason being, firstly, I am not so happy with the way MIL was taking care of my son, he has been eating cereals and not porridge for lunch all the while till he went childcare at 2 yrs old. She also likes to watch TV in the afternoon with my son and sometimes am lazy, i.e. dont wash DS’s hair in the night if she feels weather is ‘cooling’, just wipe DS’s bum with a tissue if his poo is of ‘good shape’ and not messy. $900 may not be a lot to some, but to us, it’s quite a huge amount, not forgetting she doesnt cook dinner for us and for DS’s dinner, its just rice and soup, no meat, vegets… Most of DS’s food are also paid by us.
I’m thinking of giving her $600 only, mainly to take care of my son when he’s back from full-day childcare and to feed and bath him before we come home from work around 7. Is this reasonable? I can then pay my mum the $300 (on top of the current amount i pay my mum) to take care of DD. I’m concerned whether DS can bond with DD in due course, but I also feel that MIL is getting old and we cant afford a maid (which will cause another $1k in total?).
can you let me know your views whether my thinkings is reasonable. -
vivienpg:
Money issues are very sensitive and I cannot comment. I still continue to give my mum the same allowance even though I am no longer working and she is no longer looking after my child ... My hubby protests but still I can't reduce, even though she is more well-off than us.Hi, will like to seek your opinion on MIL issue.. My MIL is currently taking care of DS who's in full-day CC. We have been giving her $900 and FIL $250 till now. I have just had a DD and am thinking of letting my own mum taking care of her.
Reason being, firstly, I am not so happy with the way MIL was taking care of my son, he has been eating cereals and not porridge for lunch all the while till he went childcare at 2 yrs old. She also likes to watch TV in the afternoon with my son and sometimes am lazy, i.e. dont wash DS's hair in the night if she feels weather is 'cooling', just wipe DS's bum with a tissue if his poo is of 'good shape' and not messy. $900 may not be a lot to some, but to us, it's quite a huge amount, not forgetting she doesnt cook dinner for us and for DS's dinner, its just rice and soup, no meat, vegets... Most of DS's food are also paid by us.
I'm thinking of giving her $600 only, mainly to take care of my son when he's back from full-day childcare and to feed and bath him before we come home from work around 7. Is this reasonable? I can then pay my mum the $300 (on top of the current amount i pay my mum) to take care of DD. I'm concerned whether DS can bond with DD in due course, but I also feel that MIL is getting old and we cant afford a maid (which will cause another $1k in total?).
can you let me know your views whether my thinkings is reasonable. -
janet_lee88:
Precisely, what biz does she have opening my fridge and cupboards ?Nebbermind:
[quote=\"janet_lee88\"] You lucky guy. My hubby's sister has no qualms opening my drawers, fridge and cupboards to examine contents. She is NOT welcomed in my house.
but whatever for??!! :? I don't even like it when my kids goes into our drawers...not like we have any secrets but simply coz they have no business there.
Most sickening part is calling HER mother and telling her ? What the hell...is she sent to my house to be a spy ?[/quote]My MIL will check out my fridge whenever she visits. She does not dare do it in my presence. My maid will inform me. Luckily my freezer is always well-stocked.... so she cannot complain.
Hubby will also chat with MiL every now and then. I noticed that whenever I don't cook for a few days... she will start to invite us to her place for a meal. However, she uses ajinomoto (msg) and thinks she is cooking a healthy meal for us....Unmarried SIL also likes to comment on how I should raise my children. Nowadays, they like to drop by every 1 - 2 weeks and stay till night. The day after or so, hubby will \"suggest\" something that I am sure is from them. Have to think how to reject or disagree tactfully, otherwise hubby will be angry.
Why are they like this? When I go to their place, I don't comment on how untidy and dirty it is. I don't look into their cupboards or fridge. I don't interfere in my SILs' careers (or lack of) or comment on lack of boyfriends....
Recently, I been teaching my child not to pass tactless and negative comments unnecessarily. I must find the opportunity to teach \"him\" when my in-laws are present. -
Hi KSmom,
Basically they lack absolute manners and think they can lord over their son/brother’s life and his wife.
Mine here lectures my hubby as though she is some expert at manners and has the cheek to tell him to bring ‘his wife and children to visit the mother’. My son happened to read that email and was so pissed off with her. -
i agree that money issues are very sensitive, that’s my hb didnt raise the issue to his mum until now… Actually we increased $300 to MIL when she start to take care of DS. But with 2 children, we find the expenses increasing…MIL wanted a maid to take care of DS and DD, but the total expenses for maid + $900 for MIL + DS’s CC expenses is already around half of hb’s pay, how to afford? Sigh…
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vivienpg:
i agree that money issues are very sensitive, that's my hb didnt raise the issue to his mum until now.. Actually we increased $300 to MIL when she start to take care of DS. But with 2 children, we find the expenses increasing..MIL wanted a maid to take care of DS and DD, but the total expenses for maid + $900 for MIL + DS's CC expenses is already around half of hb's pay, how to afford? Sigh..
Money issues very sensitive, esp in my hubby's family...all she knows is S-11...to her, no family is closer than that. -
it is very difficult to cut the $$$ given to the parents and ils.
get hubby to talk to mil.
good luck.
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