Advice - Divorce or Not to Divorce

[ZacK]

schellen:

ChiefKiasu:

Welcome back schellen! Heard from sashimi that you were sick. Flu? :!: Hope you are better now.

Yup, better now. Thanks for your concern.

Must get better cos sch hols coming. Got plans....

JAPAN JAPAN JAPAN!!!!

[ZacK]

schellen:

ZacK:

Hahaha for all you know.. I'm even older than you

No offence but I think you are right.

Hahahah even if I were wrong.. I would never dream of winning a war on this

[MLR]

Hi BlueOcean


Sorry that can’t be of much help. Theres a toll free hotline that you can call whenever you need a listening ear, they are trained volunteers who lend very good listening ears. Its manned by Care Corner, they are a family service centre, hotline number is: 1800 3535 800.

[Rena]

Hi blue ocean


I agree with MLR…perhaps you wanna seek counselling first. btw do u have any religion?

[buds]

Counselling will help i guess...

But only if both parties are
willing to push and honestly
make it work. No point going
for counselling but remain
sceptical and defensive thru
out...

One of my old girlfriend tried,
but the hubby always didn't
turn up. The counsellor called
the hubby a couple of times
only to get a rude shock of
an answer. :roll: He was 1
of those guys who was always
out womanizing, with local girls
and foreigners... just for kicks.
My girlfriend has 4 kids, from
an infant to early primary, back
then. We have since lost touch.

I'm saddened by sharings like
these as it's unfair to the wife
and children. One needs to get
away with only one temptation
to continue doing it over and
over again..

[Windy]

My husnabd go drinking everynight from Mon to Sun and only come home 5am or 6am, he will go straight from his office, lock his phone with password, MSN to girl in chinese, chg his bank account, chg his dressing and go for expensive haircut, had ONS with vietnam girl when he was in vietnam last year, visit china pro in KTV, found eye lasher in his front car seat (he said belong to KTV pro), not interested in intimacy with me and not interested to go out with the family. But he still pay monthly maintainance, go market with me, buy me dinner on Sat at coffee shop, pay tution fees and said he love me. After I realised the changed since last Sept, I need to take sleeping pill everynight till today and will wake up at interval of 3am, 4am, 6am to check if he is back or gave him a call, but he still will not come home. I had 2 children, 7 and 9, I m early 40 with a job, should I divorce? :?

[jedamum]

Windy:

I had 2 children, 7 and 9, I m early 40 with a job, should I divorce? :?

No one can (or will) advise you whether to go down the divorce route. Ask yourself, what is holding you back? kids? still love your husband and hope that he will turn back? 'comfort'-zone/fear of unknown?

[mathsparks]

Windy:

My husnabd go drinking everynight from Mon to Sun and only come home 5am or 6am, he will go straight from his office, lock his phone with password, MSN to girl in chinese, chg his bank account, chg his dressing and go for expensive haircut, had ONS with vietnam girl when he was in vietnam last year, visit china pro in KTV, found eye lasher in his front car seat (he said belong to KTV pro), not interested in intimacy with me and not interested to go out with the family. But he still pay monthly maintainance, go market with me, buy me dinner on Sat at coffee shop, pay tution fees and said he love me. After I realised the changed since last Sept, I need to take sleeping pill everynight till today and will wake up at interval of 3am, 4am, 6am to check if he is back or gave him a call, but he still will not come home. I had 2 children, 7 and 9, I m early 40 with a job, should I divorce? :?

Hi windy,
guess you're up late over yr husband's affairs. *hugs*

It's a difficult time you're going thru; but thankfully you're employed. decision is really yrs to make. Though i've often told myself should the same thing happen to me, i'll leave him for sure. But as my kids came along and grew older, i would forgive and stay together for the kids' sake; at least till they're older. But I doubt I have it in me to be forgiving. I deserve my own happiness as well.

Can't give you much advice, but hang in there when day breaks and ksps awake, they would offer words of comfort. Take care.

[mintcc]

Windy:

My husnabd go drinking everynight from Mon to Sun and only come home 5am or 6am, he will go straight from his office, lock his phone with password, MSN to girl in chinese, chg his bank account, chg his dressing and go for expensive haircut, had ONS with vietnam girl when he was in vietnam last year, visit china pro in KTV, found eye lasher in his front car seat (he said belong to KTV pro), not interested in intimacy with me and not interested to go out with the family. But he still pay monthly maintainance, go market with me, buy me dinner on Sat at coffee shop, pay tution fees and said he love me. After I realised the changed since last Sept, I need to take sleeping pill everynight till today and will wake up at interval of 3am, 4am, 6am to check if he is back or gave him a call, but he still will not come home. I had 2 children, 7 and 9, I m early 40 with a job, should I divorce? :?

huggs...it must have been tough. Almost a year of such stress...it is not easy to put up with stress. And it must have been bad since you need to take sleeping pill for that. Perhaps you might want to get some conselling to get the load off your chest and explore what you want to do. e.g. divorce, let things go on status quo or improve the marriage with your hb (rock the boat, tell him his life style now is not acceptable to you). Take care. Please do something before the stress take the toll on your health.

[Windy]

kids had held me back for divorce as they are still very young. But on the other hand I find that I can’t accept his life style and he had confirmed not going to make any changes about it, and he enjoying his life now while I had to endure it. I think my life will be shorten because I can’t walk out of this miserable life. He does agreed to divorce but he will not going to give me any things saying that I might know someone in future and his friend divorced did not give the wife anything too. If I did not make any contribution to the house, and I am employed, the kids follow him, is it ture that he can opt not to give me anything after divorce?