Throwing Tantrum

[smurf]

Dear momoshop,

felt great to hear that our kids are similar. at least I know that I;m not alone.:)

Sometimes, it's tiring and energy draining, cos he seems to have so much energy to expel at this age that I can't keep up with him. just hope that he doesn't sleep when its time to attend sch!haha.

sometmes I lose my temper on him, scolds and beats his hand for touching electricity, etc, but of cos, regret after that. feel lousy that I'm not a good mum.

usually I would explain to him why cannot do this or that, but at 17 mth, dun thnk he will remember, instead he will cheekily smile and run off to do that again. :x

I think just have to have lotsa patience patience.:)

[evemel]

Original Title: Anger Management


Recently I received a call from my kid's (8 yr old) teacher. Telling me that she was crying loudly and screaming non stop for at least half an hour in school after she was scolded by her teacher. Her teacher suggested that she has poor anger management which I think is quite true. Would somebody be kind to provide me with some suggestion that could help her? :?:

[fussyMummy]

Hi,


P - Praised
A - Attention
C - Care/Communication
E - Encourage

I always keep this "4 letterwords" in my mind…

My 9 years old daughter is a super crybaby… Fight with her brother also cry… Eat those foods she dislike also cry… and always show me her "black face"… And yet I always scold her for it…

I change my "pattern" recently… I try to talk to her, even she doesnt want to answer me but show me her crycry face or black face…

I told her how I felt and explain to her and teach her how to deal it if what what situation happened… encourage her and praised her if she does so…

Dont expect she will become good in 1 day time, not even 1 week… I tried for about 3 months, just a little improvement…

Gosh… no choice, she is my dear girl girl… Must be patience with her lah…

[evemel]

Thanks for your advice.


After this incident, I did not scold her but talked to her nicely and explained to her that why she should not behave that way. She agreed to apologize to her teacher on Friday but did not and gave an excuse that she felt embarassed to tell her.

I told her to do an apologize card, she agreed and made one over the weekend. But did not give it to her teacher today and this time her excuse is she wanted to add more drawings onto the card.

Both my husband and I could no longer tolerate her excuses, we scolded her and now I am still crossing my fingers that she could tell her teacher "Sorry".

I am thinking of sending her for hypnotherepy, but not sure if it works and if there will be side effect. (sight!).

[smurf]

Do you have hot temper child? My boy keeps shouting at me for no reason. I think he has a problem managing his emotion. For minor minor thing, for example, if I didn't give him food on time, he will shout at me, why I didn't give him food, etc. He will lose his temper and grumble.


This morning, he was doing his art homework, after finishing it, he waited for the glue to dry, but I ask him to shower. Immediately, he raised his voice and shouted, \" No need to dry is it?! \" I haven't even say anything or shouted at him! This is just one minor incident. There are many many more.

When I asked him do something, such as eating, shower, etc, he will shout back, ' then what about blah blah blah?!'

I dun usually shout or scold him unless he does something dangerous or silly. So i dunno why he behaves this way. In fact, I talk to him nicely before all these nonsense.

When he is doing something and he can't get it done, he will cry. He will not be patient to try and try again. He will just lose his temper and throw the thing.

In school, he is very mild and soft spoken (I assumed coz he would tell me that his school friends do mischievous things, etc and he didn't).

Anyone got any advise? :?:

[leo]

smurf:

Do you have hot temper child? My boy keeps shouting at me for no reason. I think he has a problem managing his emotion. For minor minor thing, for example, if I didn't give him food on time, he will shout at me, why I didn't give him food, etc. He will lose his temper and grumble.


This morning, he was doing his art homework, after finishing it, he waited for the glue to dry, but I ask him to shower. Immediately, he raised his voice and shouted, \" No need to dry is it?! \" I haven't even say anything or shouted at him! This is just one minor incident. There are many many more.

When I asked him do something, such as eating, shower, etc, he will shout back, ' then what about blah blah blah?!'

I dun usually shout or scold him unless he does something dangerous or silly. So i dunno why he behaves this way. In fact, I talk to him nicely before all these nonsense.

When he is doing something and he can't get it done, he will cry. He will not be patient to try and try again. He will just lose his temper and throw the thing.

In school, he is very mild and soft spoken (I assumed coz he would tell me that his school friends do mischievous things, etc and he didn't).

Anyone got any advise? :?:

Does anyone in the house raise his/her voice like that?

[sall]

It is unacceptable for a child to speak this way to his parents. Did you allow him to shout or be so rude to you without punishing him? Maybe, he’s very meek in sch, so when he’s at home, he vents all his frustrations on you. I have a friend whose child is like that. His teacher commented he’s so quiet and good in class, but the moment he comes home from sch, he gives hell to everyone.

You should write to the sch counsellor for help, she may refer your son to the specialist for some anger management therapy.

[smartmummy]

smurf:

Do you have hot temper child? My boy keeps shouting at me for no reason. I think he has a problem managing his emotion. For minor minor thing, for example, if I didn't give him food on time, he will shout at me, why I didn't give him food, etc. He will lose his temper and grumble.


This morning, he was doing his art homework, after finishing it, he waited for the glue to dry, but I ask him to shower. Immediately, he raised his voice and shouted, \" No need to dry is it?! \" I haven't even say anything or shouted at him! This is just one minor incident. There are many many more.

When I asked him do something, such as eating, shower, etc, he will shout back, ' then what about blah blah blah?!'

I dun usually shout or scold him unless he does something dangerous or silly. So i dunno why he behaves this way. In fact, I talk to him nicely before all these nonsense.

When he is doing something and he can't get it done, he will cry. He will not be patient to try and try again. He will just lose his temper and throw the thing.

In school, he is very mild and soft spoken (I assumed coz he would tell me that his school friends do mischievous things, etc and he didn't).

Anyone got any advise? :?:

I also in the same boat.Now he is in primary 3.At school he is very obedient boy.But at home, nowerdays he never listen to me at all.Exactly yours.I feel very stressful. Now I try to ask him why are you behave like this.Most of the time he ignore to talk.Slowly he started to talk.Then we discuss.We are trying to understand each other.I hope this atmosphere will change.Now I am planning to go to play ground and play with a friend.His father and spend time with him very less.I think we need to spend more time.I hope it will help!
[quote][/quote]

[smurf]

I dun think it’s his school friends that influence him, coz his hot temper was not develop recently, it’s months and months ago.


If he shouted at me, I can tolerate him for first few times, but after 3 times, my patience worn out, then I will scold him or take away his privileges. But I believe that he has a problem managing his temper and emotion. I think he doesn’t know how to handle them. He is very affectionate. Sometimes, when I hugged him, he will cry with emotion. If I asked him why he cried, his answer would be "dunno". That led me to think that he still doesn’t know how to handle his emotion.

If he watch a very emotional show between a mother and a child, he will sometimes smile at me, I dunno why. But when he is angry, he will not hold back, he will shout with anger.

[Zann]

How about getting another person, such as your dh, to have a talk with him that he should not take his mother for granted and not to be rude to her … Or have you tried to ignore him ( not response to his request) when he shouted at you?