Spouse or Kids? Which comes first?

[schweppes]

autumnbronze:

Enjoy your concert date with DH, Schweppes :celebrate: :celebrate:

Thanks sista

[SBKS]

Good question and replies....scouring over 18 pages is timeconsuming but i did it.


like many of the replies.

my reply would be \"Everything in Moderation\". THats my motto of life as well. Learnt it thru the hard way in the early years. got the idea from eating healthy food campaign and apply it here.

everything we do we would have to do it in moderation. we gt to spend time with DS/DD and DH/DW. we have to even spend time with PIL/parents/siblings. all in all to maintain a healthy relationship.

i m not trying to be on the fence but this is truly my stand and that also applies to leisure/work/hobbies/food.

we ourselves do not have the time to go on secret dates but we are trying...kids, work, parents all takes up time. so far parents/pil is helping us on weekdays so wkends cant possibly trouble them again as they have their own lives to live as well. so the only time we can have dates are taking annual lve. that kinda sucks also as leave for parents are for the kids...as everyone knows that CCL in SG is nvr enuff.

when we do not hve kids, annual leave is for our \"me\" time. now with kids, its for \"OUR\" time. so when is \"ME\" time? i dunno. Still working out. squeezing out time for our own \"me\" time..but hardly getting any.

\"me\" time is also impt but in moderation as well. maybe among the short annual leave in a year, 2 days for \"me\" time seems ok. provided there is nothing special going on that year which might take away the leave such as studying, renovations, etc.

if the situation is where both are on equal footing, i would choose DW.

so all in all, those of you who manages it well, keep it up and maybe share hw you do it, those of us who are trying, go go go ..... :celebrate:

[S U P E R M A M A]

I would say 100% spouse first!

It is the same with ourselves. If we don’t take care of ourselves, love ourselves, we would not have the capacity to love others.
If we do not love our spouse, how do us as parents find strength and support to love our kids?
I find myself feeling down when I feel that I do not spend enough time with my hubby. It is like my love tank is running low… need to refuel…Only after replenishing my love tank would I find extra power to love my kids more : ) My 2 cents worth. : P

[3Boys]

S U P E R M A M A:

I would say 100% spouse first!

It is the same with ourselves. If we don't take care of ourselves, love ourselves, we would not have the capacity to love others.
If we do not love our spouse, how do us as parents find strength and support to love our kids?
I find myself feeling down when I feel that I do not spend enough time with my hubby. It is like my love tank is running low... need to refuel...Only after replenishing my love tank would I find extra power to love my kids more : ) My 2 cents worth. : P

Yep yep!

Although some may feel that time with spouse = time away from kids, its not a zero sum game.

[iringi]

as a mom of 2 teenage boys, from my own experience, i think it depends on how old your kids are. when my boys are younger, they are definately my top priority. although hubbie used to complain abt feeling neglected sometimes in the past haha. i think most moms will agree with me that their precious small baby will come first, followed by the big baby at home as my boys grow older, i start to find that it balances out more.. probably becos my boys also start to disappear from home abit more, leaving me with more time for my hubbie..

[Pen88n]

iringi:

as a mom of 2 teenage boys, from my own experience, i think it depends on how old your kids are. when my boys are younger, they are definately my top priority. although hubbie used to complain abt feeling neglected sometimes in the past haha. i think most moms will agree with me that their precious small baby will come first, followed by the big baby at home as my boys grow older, i start to find that it balances out more.. probably becos my boys also start to disappear from home abit more, leaving me with more time for my hubbie..

Agreed absolutely. There is no way you can put the baby last and spouse first as the baby can't wait! As time goes by, you will find more time for spouse, esp. when it comes to the empty nest period whereby the teens are often out.

[kiddo]

3Boys:

S U P E R M A M A:

I would say 100% spouse first!

It is the same with ourselves. If we don't take care of ourselves, love ourselves, we would not have the capacity to love others.
If we do not love our spouse, how do us as parents find strength and support to love our kids?
I find myself feeling down when I feel that I do not spend enough time with my hubby. It is like my love tank is running low... need to refuel...Only after replenishing my love tank would I find extra power to love my kids more : ) My 2 cents worth. : P

Yep yep!

Although some may feel that time with spouse = time away from kids, its not a zero sum game.

3 boys ..... :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
your wifey with 3boys plus you she have 4 boys?? ...handful hor....
where got time for you :censored:

[3Boys]

kiddo:

3 boys ..... :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
your wifey with 3boys plus you she have 4 boys?? ...handful hor....
where got time for you :censored:

:evil:

I am really grateful for my wife and marriage. You know, I married my wife, not my kids. Although my little darlings are the blessings in my life, and put a smile on my face each and every morning, at life's end, I know it is all the good times I have shared with the woman beside me that I will remember and cherish.

[buds]

3Boys! Very bad lar u! You sure can easily gimme

that achy breaky heart tug when you speak about
her... Mrs3Boys aka babe. Not many men have ur
kinda profound love for their wives. She IS soooo
fortunate! But I'm sure she knows that already..

So u bought her any new lingerie lately? Hmmm...
Mebbe need to go over the forsaken lingerie thread
to ask this. :evil:

[Funz]

3Boys is soooo sweeet lah, when it comes to his wifey. Makes other envious only. But budhubs oso very good leh, the way he took care of you.


I would say in terms of priority, I am ranking rather high in DH’s books these days. Was not like this in the past but we have come a long way. It’s me whose priorities are a bit skewed at times.