Elderly woman mistreated at nursing home
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Wa! LOLMum, you also wake up early! I thought no one could beat me. Ha…
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heehee,
and good morning to you peapot,
just got back from the cinema and it is only 12+ am in london. -
Peapot, do you see your early post time as 23:16? Something seems wrong with the clock..:?
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no leh, my clock shows correct timing.
LOLMum, you are in London?? Having a nice time?? -
peapot:
Thanks peapot, got my clock adjusted.no leh, my clock shows correct timing.
LOLMum, you are in London?? Having a nice time?? -
Hi LOLMum,
saw a couple of your responses......seems to pin most of these faults to DILs. sometimes, you gotta look at the whole situation. first of all, the sons/children must do their part to take care of their own parents....not dump the responsibilities to the DIL. that's downright not fair :mad:
just look at my situation, I am THE ONLY dil who agreed to let PILs over, but look what happens, it becomes my job, my responsibility. Fortunately, DH helps so I am willing to bear.....but it is increasingly straining my family, i'm reaching my threshold. financial help is NOT enough, I need my life too, DH needs his rest too....what are the rest doing to help?? my home is actually a dumping ground/nursing home for the rest of the siblings!!!
besides having frailing FIL, I have a difficult MIL. Talk about beautiful peaceful morning, almost 70% of my mornings, I wake from MIL yelling at FIL or maid & end up in a bad mood myself. I was in pink of heath and suddenly, a few mths after PILs shifted in, I was diagnosed with High BP (at 36yo).
Despite having endured a few years with PILs, I am seriously considering nursing home cos' all my previous maids refused to continue due to MIL. (during that time, maid only has to face MIL in the daytime loh) Was maidless and turn SAHM for a few years, was happy loh.
Now with frail FIL, had to hire maid again but new maid is showing signs that she cannot take it if MIL goes on......the real person I should be sending off is my MIL cos' she is the cause of ALL troubles.....if she keep her mouth shut and not interfere, things are fine.....I love it when she's not at home. But my only choice is to send FIL and then, terminate maid cos' I'm drained, my relationship with DH is drained & now, drained with the BILs/SILs too.
Finally, despite being the ONLY dil accommodating all these & enduring it for years, when the time comes. all blames/displeasure/accusation is on ME. Fair? I think not :rant:
The ones who dun live together, the ones who just watch from afar are the GOOD ones. I only know, if I am ever to stay with my DIL when I'm old, I will keep my mouth shut and should not be expecting from her. MY OWN children should be doing their parts and not the DILs. I'm sure if my OWN children were to help out sufficiently such the the DILs do not reach the stage of being strained, things would not reach such a state. -
Do you think elderly will not be mistreated at home?
Caregiver is a tough job. I have seen how my MIL takes care of FIL, I have seen how the siblings would come and go without even bothering to spend 3 mins with the FIL or speak to him (besides greeting)…better than nursing home? Maybe not to the extent of mistreat or abuse, but would be like the bulk.
Before the maid, MIL yells and screams and even slap FIL leg/shoulder and sometimes on the head (not that hard I supposed) when he refuses to cooperate or do what she asks him to. Every activity comes with yelling & arguing. Sometimes, I have the 2 struggling and pushing and I have to step in.
When the siblings come over for their weekly meal, I only see them greeting FIL if he happens to be seated at the dining hall…else, they’ll only go to room to say goodbye. And even if he’s seated at the dining hall, the only conversation is…‘have you eaten’, hardly more than 3 sentences. Besides that, no other visitation.
I told DH, what is the difference between here and nursing home??? -
LOLMum:
Wow! You are such a fan of KSP that you log on even when you are in London.heehee,
and good morning to you peapot,
just got back from the cinema and it is only 12+ am in london. -
家家有本难念的经
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cwc:
加油！要撑下去！ :rahrah:Hi LOLMum,
saw a couple of your responses......seems to pin most of these faults to DILs. sometimes, you gotta look at the whole situation. first of all, the sons/children must do their part to take care of their own parents....not dump the responsibilities to the DIL. that's downright not fair :mad:
just look at my situation, I am THE ONLY dil who agreed to let PILs over, but look what happens, it becomes my job, my responsibility. Fortunately, DH helps so I am willing to bear.....but it is increasingly straining my family, i'm reaching my threshold. financial help is NOT enough, I need my life too, DH needs his rest too....what are the rest doing to help?? my home is actually a dumping ground/nursing home for the rest of the siblings!!!
besides having frailing FIL, I have a difficult MIL. Talk about beautiful peaceful morning, almost 70% of my mornings, I wake from MIL yelling at FIL or maid & end up in a bad mood myself. I was in pink of heath and suddenly, a few mths after PILs shifted in, I was diagnosed with High BP (at 36yo).
Despite having endured a few years with PILs, I am seriously considering nursing home cos' all my previous maids refused to continue due to MIL. (during that time, maid only has to face MIL in the daytime loh) Was maidless and turn SAHM for a few years, was happy loh.
Now with frail FIL, had to hire maid again but new maid is showing signs that she cannot take it if MIL goes on......the real person I should be sending off is my MIL cos' she is the cause of ALL troubles.....if she keep her mouth shut and not interfere, things are fine.....I love it when she's not at home. But my only choice is to send FIL and then, terminate maid cos' I'm drained, my relationship with DH is drained & now, drained with the BILs/SILs too.
Finally, despite being the ONLY dil accommodating all these & enduring it for years, when the time comes. all blames/displeasure/accusation is on ME. Fair? I think not :rant:
The ones who dun live together, the ones who just watch from afar are the GOOD ones. I only know, if I am ever to stay with my DIL when I'm old, I will keep my mouth shut and should not be expecting from her. MY OWN children should be doing their parts and not the DILs. I'm sure if my OWN children were to help out sufficiently such the the DILs do not reach the stage of being strained, things would not reach such a state.
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