All About Full-Time Maids
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GarangMama:
GarangMama, I Empathise with your Plight ....Hi fellow mummies with maid issues,
My second maid requested for a transfer after 16months with us and after a very trying time, the transfer was done under very unhappy circumstances last May....
And Totally Agreed that MOM Rules R Pro-FW/ FDW, Against Employer.
Now ALL of them Know How to Held Employers Ransom .... by Simply Complaining to MOM that Employer Withheld their Money, etc ....
And Regard-less of what the Employer say, Even with Proof .... MOM will just revert to U that Give in to their Demand, Pay them Fully, Or Else ....
Have Long Given Up Talking to MOM ....
Best is to Pay Them, And Get Them Out of your Hair .... Cut Your Losses .... And Learnt the Lesson ....
:sad: :sad: -
Awonder:
I would say give her another chance; you say that she can do housework quite well and the things that she's done wrong so far are not dangerous or anything, just a different way of doing things.Hi, had an issue here with my new Indo maid for just 2 mths. She can do housework quite well and i can say that she is a cleanaholics, but so much so that we cannot tolerate at all cos she keep doing, washing, dusting, sweeping the whole day long and I dont really see her sit down and rest at all. It seems a good catch to hv such kind of maid but at the same time give us headarche also. She always do more than necessary and we find that it is very wasteful and sometimes had to accommodate her way too. But this is our house, not hers. She should suit our need and not the other way round.
Another frustrated thing is that she just refuse to follow my instruction due mainly to her stubborness and try to act smart. She is ex-sing and we had reminded her many times not to bring other habits that she had did in her previous employer into our home. Every family had their own way of doing things so I expect her to follow our way of handling things at home. I find that whenever things that need to instruct and teach, she can't follow or just cannot remember, just like cooking. Maybe she think she can cook, but how when she can't even try to remember how I prepare my dishes, how could I let her cook her own way.
Yesterday, was mad at her from morning till night. Her priority at home is to do housework and take care and keep a close watch on my 21 mths ds, but she tends to walk away often and do this do that again....told her many times but somehow just never get into her head. Teach her how to prepare pork chop and told her that she can use both hand to handle the pork while chopping and turning but as I was standing beside her, she seems like switch off and never listen and still just holding the knife and refuse to use the other hand, and when I ask her why she never follow my instruction, she said scare I do not like her to do that. You can imagine how frustrated I am. I was beside her telling her that she can use both hand and yet she can give me such reason. She had made me more mad than my kids. I always instruct her to soak the soup pot overnight so that it will be easier to wash the next day. After boiling for 2-3 hours, there will always be soup residue around the pot and its to prevent her from harsh washing and scratch my pot. But last night, she wash up all the stubborn stain and still soak it in water in the sink for washing up tomorrow. Well, I blow my top and I simply don't know what to say. Either she is stubborn and act smart or did it on purpose. Her blank stare and attitude really disturb me.
At that moment I told my dh that I don't want her anymore, but now still thinking hard as I do not want to act on impulse and change maid. She is my 2nd maid. Although my 1st maid did made mistakes also but she had never give me such headarche at all. You know, it make me very disturbed and not in peace, keep thinking about it the whole day. I dont like that at all, getting a maid is to relieve my workload and not to give me stress.
Hope to get some advice here whether should I keep her because of all this issues or give her 1 more chance. Thanks.
Try sitting down to talk to her and tell her that you think she is generally doing a good job but there are some things that you would like her to do the way that she has been told. Explain that she may not think it's the right way to do it but you prefer it that way so you would appreciate it if she can follow your method.
All maids will do things differently from the way we want - you just have to pick which ones are important and work on those. I have people who work/have worked for me in the office who do things in what seems like a very strange way to me but if they get the job done in the end then I will turn a blind eye.
If she still refuses to follow your way then you will have to get tough and give her an ultimatum but I would try the gentle approach first. -
Dear nms1, thanks for your advice and help to analysis the pro and con, really appreciate. In fact, all the while I always use the gentle approach when teaching or instructing my maid to do things. We had sit down with her also and explain things to her. I do not know how to be fierce or harsh to anybody, its just not my character. I had a cordial relationship with my previous maid but too bad after settling well with her, she wants to go back to her home town. Probably I’m a little impatient and hope that this present maid can pick things up fast so that I can spend more time with my children. My young ds always cling to me so I always had to carry him while teaching her how to cook and so on. I do not know how long its going to be, and still sometimes had to deal with her weird character, its natural that I would feel frustrated.
Ya, I intend to give her another chance as I really drag going thru a new maid again and don’t know hows the next one going to be. Reading so much about maid’s issue really put me off.
Btw, would like to check with parents here whether you let your maid decide and prepare all the meal by herself for your family or you teach her how to cook your prefer dishes. -
Awonder:
I will let my maid decides what to cook. She has been with us for 10 months and she know what we (all my family members) like and dislike. Since it is quite hard to serve everybody well, she will make sure all of us at least have a dish to eat. For example, if she cooks curry, she will prepare nuggets or another non spicy food for my children. Now i even let her to do marketing.
When she just came, we need to teach her how to cook, but after showing her once, she is able to catch up fast, but sometimes need to give advices for improvement lor. I always advise her to learn as much as she can, then she can open a food stall when she going back to her own country. -
GarangMama, i can empathise with your situation. I had quite similar experience too. Until now still remember vividly…though trying very hard to forget.
but what to do…MOM is not on our side. So I have learnt to tread very carefully with maids. Take care! -
My maid who is now with us for 6 yrs already. She is also ex-sing. When she first started work for me, I asked her if she knows how to cook. She said yes. So I told her ok, then you decide what we will have for dinner and from there we guage her cooking. Lucky for us, she is a fairly good cook. Only thing is she rather heavy handed when it comes to adding salt and sugar. Had to keep reminding her. Until now, still have to tell her if you think this pot needs 1tsp, pls put only 1/2 tsp.
She has initiative, sometimes too much but these are things that I can live with. Yes it can get frustrating cos she geh kiang and in the end I have to undo what she has done but for all the positive attitude and skills that she has, I am willing to work with this aspect of hers. No such thing as perfection, we just need to adjust our expectations and work around other stuff. -
Funz:
:goodpost: agree. actually sounds like mine too.....but fortunately, she scared of the SIR, so SIR wants less salty, she changed quite fast :lol:My maid who is now with us for 6 yrs already. She is also ex-sing. When she first started work for me, I asked her if she knows how to cook. She said yes. So I told her ok, then you decide what we will have for dinner and from there we guage her cooking. Lucky for us, she is a fairly good cook. Only thing is she rather heavy handed when it comes to adding salt and sugar. Had to keep reminding her. Until now, still have to tell her if you think this pot needs 1tsp, pls put only 1/2 tsp.
She has initiative, sometimes too much but these are things that I can live with. Yes it can get frustrating cos she geh kiang and in the end I have to undo what she has done but for all the positive attitude and skills that she has, I am willing to work with this aspect of hers. No such thing as perfection, we just need to adjust our expectations and work around other stuff.
Yes, no perfect human, adjust and work around it. Recently as my FIL becomes frail and needs assistance, I have started to appreciate her more. How many willing to dig butts, clean pee and sai a few times a day.....caregivers are very tough job. Personally, I can't...... -
Hi, actually I am very particular about the meals been prepare for my family so I would still prefer to teach her how to cook my usual dishes and hopefully she get learn fast then I can let go for her to in-charge. I’m a SAHM so sometimes certain dishes which need special seasoning and so on then I would prepare myself. This is how I do it with my previous Philo maid. She usually would see and observe how I prepare the meal and slowly can cook quite up to my standard. Now, this Indo maid is quite forgetful and she also needs to write down the recipe for all my dishes but still can’t get it right till now. Also very poor in estimating how much oil and so on.
She said that she can cook but I am not prepare to try her dishes yet cos she can’t even cook what I teach her so how to trust her. As what I had mentioned, if she refuse to follow my instruction, she would never learn.
Btw, another question, is your maid fussy about the meal you all prepare everyday and what about eating at restaurant and food court. I find that my maid do. There was one occasion after 2 weeks with us, we were out for dinner. We all had udon for dinner and as she was feeding my boy, we did not order for her first. Btw, we did ask her what she prefer and she said anything, she just refuse to specifically point to the menu what she really wants to eat. After that, my husband thinking that Indo people may like to eat rice and chicken so he go and buy a plate of rice with chicken in gravy for her. Well, what an expression we see on her face upon seeing that plate of rice. Her face immediately sank down and she eat the rice with such an attitude like you know when you can’t get what you want and yet had to swallow down what you don’t want, that kind of expression and body language. My dh and I were actually taken aback and since then, we made sure that she will eat the same with either one of us, then she got nothing to complain on her face. Till now, that attitude of her still irk me.
We never had such issue with our previous maid. When in restaurant, she can choose from the menu but she never cross the line, and in foodcourt, we give her the money to buy her own food. She was very humble and slow she had gain our trust and we also appreciate her more and even dont mine paying for a good meal for her. -
Hi ,
Can anyone advise me whether you have got a maid thr this POEA thing. the agent say that employer has to sign an employment contract stating S$600 plus off days to go thr this POEA (for Philippines side). But this type of contract is for 'show' in PHilippines to get them come over. After that, they will based on the agency employment contract done (for employer n FDW) which was the original salary for eg. $420 with 1 day as agreed.
Has anybody signed this type of contract? Is there a risk involved.
If not convenient to discuss here, can pls kindly emial me [email protected]. Thank u so much! -
Anna Ng:
My Prev-Prev Maid is Better ....Awonder:
I will let my maid decides what to cook. She has been with us for 10 months and she know what we (all my family members) like and dislike. Since it is quite hard to serve everybody well, she will make sure all of us at least have a dish to eat. For example, if she cooks curry, she will prepare nuggets or another non spicy food for my children. Now i even let her to do marketing.
When she just came, we need to teach her how to cook, but after showing her once, she is able to catch up fast, but sometimes need to give advices for improvement lor. I always advise her to learn as much as she can, then she can open a food stall when she going back to her own country.
After Staying with us for 10 years ....
When She Go Back Indo ....
She .... Open Restaurant!
And She Does Not Even Know How to Cook Rice when she Arrive in Spore!
:lol: :lol:
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