Club SAHM

[gardener]

Hi SAHM Tan, thanks. I’ll look up that thread!

[SAHM_TAN]

MummyThreeStreams:

linden2000:

Hi. Totally agree abt the need to have me time away from the children to de-stress. I yell a lot when i am frustrated sometimes so loud that I think neighbors can hear me. :p.

Oh, my neighbors definitely could hear me!!! They must have thought I was the mum from hell! :oops:

Same here :oops:

Have been trying to yell less. The lack of sleep because of bb does not help. But still :xedfingers:

[linden2000]

MummyThreeStreams:

linden2000:

Hi. Totally agree abt the need to have me time away from the children to de-stress. I yell a lot when i am frustrated sometimes so loud that I think neighbors can hear me. :p.

Oh, my neighbors definitely could hear me!!! They must have thought I was the mum from hell! :oops:

Hahaha no lah, if they have children themselves, they should understand. I think maybe mine are immune to my yelling already, too used to it. :oops:

[smartmummy]

Happy Mama:

MummyThreeStreams:

Hello! Haven't had time to read through all 94 pages yet. I guess I should join this club too. I have three sons. 6yrs, 3 yrs and 5 months. I have been drifting in and out of SAHM-hood since 2006. I am much happier focusing on my family. I used to be so miserable when I was a FTWM. working PT wasn't so bad though. DH earns enough to support our growing needs and he is very happy for me to stay home coz I am happier. Also, he doesn't think anyone else can do a better job at home than I can. I sometimes wonder what if I had continued on my career path...I was doing very well and was expected to rise far. My pay would've doubled...I would have a fancy title with lots of staff under me...I don't regret giving it up though, because I remember how miserable it felt to be always so torn between the two worlds, one of which I didn't even like very much! I always wanted to be home, but was always working instead. My boss was very kind. He told me to go take care of my family first. I could always resume my career later. After all, we can work till our 60s but our window of opportunity with the kids is so small. I appreciated that reminder.

It irks me, though, when I get people tell me that it is such a waste for me to stay home...DH says my children will benefit from my degrees! Although to be honest, I don't do very much academic stuff with my kids! I just love
them and play with them (not even educational games). I think any mum, with or without degrees can do that! My no pay leave will end next year. We'll decide our next course of action then. In the meantime, I'm enjoying my kids!

:goodpost: MummyThreeStreams and welcome to the club! :rahrah:

I was like you 8 months ago, torn between career and family. I was very reluctant to give up my very attractive salary but once the decision's been made, there's no looking back, and I'm enjoying every bit of my time focusing on my child. Work can wait, but the joy of watching our kids grow and being there for them when they need us most, is something money cannot buy. :love:

well said HappyMama! :goodpost:

[terry]

if dun chg sch then the travel time is a killer. evday gotta send/pick…

my son takes awhile to warm up oso…when he was in preN,took him almost 1 full term for him to accept the fact tat evday must go sch.

2day my energy level was so low…i really admire those mummies pregnant still gotta work evday. i hope after i deliver will feel better cos gotta entertain 2 instead of only 1 liao.

hw do u guys do it?

[SAHM_TAN]

terry:

if dun chg sch then the travel time is a killer. evday gotta send/pick..

my son takes awhile to warm up oso..when he was in preN,took him almost 1 full term for him to accept the fact tat evday must go sch.

2day my energy level was so low..i really admire those mummies pregnant still gotta work evday. i hope after i deliver will feel better cos gotta entertain 2 instead of only 1 liao.

hw do u guys do it?

I take it one day at a time. Certain aspects of housework must let go. Ask for help when really cannot take it. Cook one meal recipe. Let the kids be more independent. Eg, I let my DS (3.5 yo) bathe himself when he wants to. So while he bathes, I will cook and keep an eye on him. My DD1 (6yo) settles bathing by herself. Get my DD1 to entertain DD2.

It also helps that DH is hands-on, MIL cooks dinner 3/4 times a wk and the kids are in kindy for 4hrs.

Once in a while, I get DH to babysit the older kids while I spend some time with my gfrens.

[Happy Mama]

MummyThreeStreams:

I think you just need to make the decision based on what works for you and your child. For some kids, the change may be too stressful; for others, it's no big deal.

Agree! My DD went to 4 different schools from Nursery to Kindy. It was no big deal for her at that time coz she's really very adaptable, but not every kid can adapt to such constant changes. It is also good to have a talk to the child about the changes and pre-empt him/her.

So whatever decision we make, it would be good to base it on what works best for you and child. :celebrate:

[terry]

[quote]I take it one day at a time. Certain aspects of housework must let go. Ask for help when really cannot take it. Cook one meal recipe. Let the kids be more independent. Eg, I let my DS (3.5 yo) bathe himself when he wants to. So while he bathes, I will cook and keep an eye on him. My DD1 (6yo) settles bathing by herself. Get my DD1 to entertain DD2.


It also helps that DH is hands-on, MIL cooks dinner 3/4 times a wk and the kids are in kindy for 4hrs.

Once in a while, I get DH to babysit the older kids while I spend some time with my gfrens.[/quote]wah! cant imagine my PUB bills if i let my boy bathe himself.
my hb is Not hands on type..must push then he will move.
my MIL? sigh...her social life is mre busy than a minister.

but i have a maid..very very slow maid..
bb come out sure she cant manage..then my turn to :rant:

[MummyThreeStreams]

SAHM_TAN:

I take it one day at a time. Certain aspects of housework must let go. Ask for help when really cannot take it. Cook one meal recipe. Let the kids be more independent. Eg, I let my DS (3.5 yo) bathe himself when he wants to. So while he bathes, I will cook and keep an eye on him. My DD1 (6yo) settles bathing by herself. Get my DD1 to entertain DD2.


It also helps that DH is hands-on, MIL cooks dinner 3/4 times a wk and the kids are in kindy for 4hrs.

Once in a while, I get DH to babysit the older kids while I spend some time with my gfrens.

Terry, when I was pregnant and working, I looked forward to going to work as my \"rest\" time!! At least I could eat my lunch in peace. And more importantly, go to the toilet in peace!!

You'll find with more than one child, the older ones can be a great source of help. my 6 yo bathes my 3.5yo and brushes his teeth. I get them to help out in light household chores. For the heavy chores, I have a part-time cleaner coz otherwise, I'll only have time to clean the house once a month! The kids entertain each other, so I can get stuff done. Of course this often breaks out into wars, so that's when mummy yells...

The grandparents will take turns to come over to cook and play with the kids. DH will help with the kids when he's home. But I also let a lot of things slide. My home is clean, thanks to the cleaner, but it's still a big mess coz I don't have time to organize stuff...and as I said before, I don't do academic stuff with the kids! I know some of you mums teach your kids to read etc. I read to them, but I dunno why, I can't find the time to teach them to read...

[MummyThreeStreams]

terry:

wah! cant imagine my PUB bills if i let my boy bathe himself.

DS1 also loves to waste water. So I put them both in a small baby tub and they bathe with that tub of water...i.e. Not much water! not 100% clean la...but I let it go. When I have time, I scrub them clean.