Extra Marital Affair

[Ahmih]

My sympathy to Windy, it's really hard to live with someone who doesn't spare a thought for her feelings.


My GF faces similar problems too. Her husband is an addict by nature, gamble, smoke, gaming, porn surfing and downloading (hobby), and visiting pros too. She found out his visits 3 years ago and that's when he trys to stop. So far, he has stopped visiting pros (hopefully this will last), apparently, he used to visit pros when they were dating, she wasn't aware back then, only found out after he was caught 3 years ago. And she did spot some sms in his hp to pimp after her discovery. That's why she can't be sure of his words. Her husband at time will MIA and later claim hp network failure. She has given up asking him to be available for contact.

Now to save their marriage, he told her he will give up porn totally (as wife couldn't stand porn, a constant reminder that her husband likes variety and their sex is poor). He will also not hit her, this started to happen when they argue (only after she found out about his trysts). Before he was never violent to her.

However, my GF checked his pc and found out he is still surfing porn. Mind you, we're talking about serious search and download for porn here, with multiple 360G harddisks for backups and download. They have 2 young children but she really feels like throwing in the towel now. She doesn't think she can withstand further betrayal. And she worries about her kids future too.

She said her husband comes back early every day and tries to fetch kids home, weekend always spend together as family time. There're rarely time for themselves as couple or individual. And he always say the family should stay intact for kids, which she doesn't object - just very scared and insecure that his action are momentary. My GF gets upset and uncomfortable whenever his glance drift to a young female target when they're out as a family. He accused her of paranoid and she felt he's not owning up to his acts.

He did previously say he won't do a lot of things, but each time, he eats his words. Also, it may appear that he loves the family that's why he wants to hang out so much, but she's not sure of that. He always told her, he turned down other outings to please her and make her feel secure what more does she wants? :roll: Love and respect lah!

Talk about still loving him, she can't answer that. She feels in her heart, they're better off as friends then spouse now. As friend, she can accept his weakness for young girls, as spouse, she can't. It'll always be at the back of her mind she said.

She's said the relationship has reach a plain, amicable stage and wonder if she should divorce now instead of trying to salvage something that might have been gone. She feels sure that if her marriage is stranded at this point, it's surely bound for future problems with women.

Wise Insider, what would you say? you said before, that we should be forgiving and look beyond flaws. Will she be thot of as a failure for opting to leave despite her husband has 'changed'? To stay is a default, to leave would be a choice that takes lots of courage.

[winth]

insider:

PS: I have a male friend (ex schoolmate) who patronises prostitutes now and then. Will share his views on why he is doing all these despite having a wife who seems to be good and two kids...

Do share.
Sometimes it beats me why men are like what they are.

My guy friend who kanna STD (under treatment now), has very loose values of LOVE and SEX. Hope he recovers and changes his views of women as just sex (and brainless) objects.

[tankee]

I would like to urge all those whose friend is having marital issues, to be more attentive & supportive towards her\him. This is a very stressful period for your friend and may cause her\him to slip into depression.


Be there for her\him. Be it a listerning ear or a shoulder to cry on. It would help.

[Ahmih]

Wow, what a small world of mentality. That was very similar to what my GF said about her husband…


What I heard, his porn downloads are a wide range of fantasies, from groupys to SM. Lots of young girls photos, from Japs to Chinese and Thais. After he had admitted to those tyrsts, he asked my GF for anal sex and attempted new positions too. She had caved in to those requests thinking that it was all her fault that her husband strayed. However, during their sex, she felt she was being treated like an object, it was not two-way, just a one way satisfaction. He just wanted to do whatever he felt high. And the anal sex made her felt wasted, worse than a pro. And worst, she felt ill and got some ‘side-effects’. She told her husband that anal sex had caused some problems for her and he ignored her. She finally put her foot down and said if it’s anal that he wanted, it’s not with her. Thereafter, their sex was ok, except I heard, that he passed mild SD to her and caused an infection relapsed everytime they have sex. So now another reason to get less interested in each other. My GF went to see doc but she said her husband taking it lightly and kinda blame her for his condition too. Like he was ok, until they have sex kinda theory.

All these while in their marriage, when she asked him whether he is happy with their sexual relationship, he always says ‘yes’, nothing to add. I’ve heard my GF said before, that her husband mentality is, pay the bills, be at home on most days, but reserve his ‘privacy’ time. Although he says he will stopped all nonsense, she felt it is more of a divorce stopper than sincere repentance.

I wonder if Insider’s friend’s wife also is as forgiving as Insider. Like you said, she is no ‘goon’ too.

Then again, in my GF case, her husband look like a decent guy, quiet, specky, work in office, you would never suspect this nonsense. Her counselor felt he is living a double life. Perhaps he too gets recharged after pro visits, as far as my GF is concerned, he can be exceptionally patient and nice when he felt guilty towards her and kids. On other days, he is into himself and his many addictions, less on kids and her.

Well, I guess the start of all these betrayal was her two pregnancies. They were unplanned and at first he didn’t want any too. But he still encouraged her to keep the babies. And from there, I felt his ‘love’ for her was revealed. It didn’t go far. It certainly didn’t include their beautiful children until recently (if any). My GF can’t phantom, why he can’t love her and her kids? She didn’t gain weight after both pregnancies (too stress to gain weight) and still looks good, she can’t understand why can’t her husband accept her totally?

She said sometimes when she saw other husband and wife on street, both ordinary looking and so loving, she felt so envious of them. She felt she could never have this type of relationship with her husband anymore. She had somehow, only now unveil the ‘real’ him and having two thoughts about it. He made her felt worthless and little in the last 3 years. Her husband like to tell her, ‘all is fine’, but if so, why did he treat her that way?

[buds]

Uhhhmmm, insider.... Pssst...

Got Channel 5 translation or
not, arh?

I hope 'fox spirit' story comes
in English subtitles. :roll: :lol:

[ChiefKiasu]

buds:

Uhhhmmm, insider.... Pssst...

Got Channel 5 translation or
not, arh?

I hope 'fox spirit' story comes
in English subtitles. :roll: :lol:

buds arh... I didn't realize you are as blind as me when it comes to Chinese :lol:

[buds]

Make that blind-er...


Cause of that, cannot enjoy
the juice of the insider stories
here leh... Very handicapped. :lol:

[Ahmih]

why man must have such sexual thrills to feel satisfied? Is sex everything? My GF ever mentioned, she wants to end her relationship, so that she can steer clear of all these sexuals delusions problems. She just want to focus fully on her kids now. Possible?


Sex is not everything to a woman, or is it? But it’s most important to a man, is it?

[tankee]

In the case of death of a man and a woman by burning charcoal in a hotel room, the dead woman was a single mother, who continue to meet the man although she is aware that he is married.


"Shin Min Daily News" reported yesterday, on the day before yesterday at about 12 o’clock, in a 4th floor room at the Dragon Hotel along Serangoon Road, a couple of married men and women was suspected to have committed suicide by burning charcoal, both killed .

The father of the dead woman (39 years old) said in an interview this morning, that his daughter is a single mother.

It is said that the dead woman has a daughter studying in a polytechnic, and a secondard one boy. Both children were at the wake yesterday, praying for her soul. Her family declined the reporter’s request to interview the children. Both children were not at the wake this morning.

The woman’s father revealed that his daughter is aware that the man is married and the two have not contacted each other for a long time. He was stopped by other family members before he shared how long the dead couple had known each other.

In addition, the deceased’s family members do not want to disclose any other information, and verbally abused the reporter.

Her wake is at Hougang Block 576, which is where her flat is. The man had stayed at Hougang Block 580 which is opposite of Block 576. Both were old neighbour and could have known each other because of that.

The woman’s funeral is tomorrow and scheduled to be cremented at Mandai at 1pm.

The brother of the dead man XXX (43 years old) said during interview that his brother had been a good father and husband, else his sister-in-law would not have cried so hard when she identified his body yesterday. She cried the loudest among all relatives.

He added that the family is not aware of whether his brother had an affair, or owe anyone any money. And the police did not share with them much details of what happened in the hotel room. He hope the police would let them know the cause of his brother’s death when the investigation is completed.

He said that the family is trying to protect the children and had not let them access to any media reports. The 2 boys did not attend the funeral this morning.

The dead man’s brother revealed that the man is the eldest and had 2 younger brothers. He was very filial to his mother, thus his death had sadden his mother a lot.

This morning at about 9:15am, Mr XXX remains left the funeral parlor along Xin Ming Road for 9:45am cremention at Mandai Crematorium. The reporter observed that when the deceased’s body was carried into the hearse, his mother was crying so hard that she had to be supported.

About 10 relatives and friends escord the hearse, most in tears.

[tankee]

well … i’m sure most of us heard of the joke that


women thinks with their heart and men thinks with their heads … sometimes the wrong heads.