Inconsiderate people - what would you do?

[Angelight]

My mum related a recent incident to me which really made me :shock: :slapshead: :mad: :nunchuk: !


She was taking the MRT but there was no seat. She was then standing near a couple with a son. The man was sitting on the seat meant for elderly/invalid/pregnant women. His son was sitting between him and his wife. Seeing that this guy has no intention to give up his seat, my elderly mum then told him that his seat is meant for those with special needs. You know what he said?

\"Ok, then I let my son take my seat lor!\" Then he exchanged seats with his son. :siao: At this time, his wife also spoke, \"We also paid money for the train ride, you know, why should we give up our seats to you?!\" :stupid: :mad:

If you were on that train and witnessed this, what would you have done?

[ohdaddy]

Depends, but I would probably speak up nicely and quietly, and when the couple would still refuse to listen to reason, I would speak loudly and just say that they would set a bad example for their kid, with the objective to let public opinion in the carriage decide whether the couple is socially off or not. Then let the person asking for the seat to have my seat (if I had one).

[z_lynn]

I am 7 mths pregnant and take public transport daily. At times I feel as if I have to put up a sign saying "I’M PREGNANT, LET ME SIT!" every time I take a crowded bus or train. I have had to ask (nicely) people to give up their seats so many times I’ve given up. I emphatise with your mum. People should be punished for flouting regulations like sitting in those "special" seats. Only then will they learn.

[Angelight]

Yes, there shld be a fine for these inconsiderate people. I can also empathise with your situation. I believe if people are more civic minded and dare to speak up for those in need who are being deprived of the \"special seats\", then there will be less of such inconsiderate pple.

z_lynn:

I am 7 mths pregnant and take public transport daily. At times I feel as if I have to put up a sign saying \"I'M PREGNANT, LET ME SIT!\" every time I take a crowded bus or train. I have had to ask (nicely) people to give up their seats so many times I've given up. I emphatise with your mum. People should be punished for flouting regulations like sitting in those \"special\" seats. Only then will they learn.

[limlim]

What’s the problem with asking actually?


If you need the seat, then just ask "Excuse me, if you don’t mind, can you let me have the seat?". And definitely not "This seat is meant for those with special needs" right at the start.

Sometimes, it’s not easy to differentiate between a fat woman and one who is pregnant. It would be better if the person can just ask. And ask in a nice way, not giving the other party the impression of criticising him/her for doing something wrong.

Sometimes, the person might have taken the seat bcoz at the time of boarding, there is no needy pple and it is simply a waste of resources if the seat is left empty. And later on, a needy person might have boarded but did not catch the attention of the person with the seat. In this case, just asking nicely would usually do the trick.

[Mrsbongz]

While i agree that there r inconsiderate pple who do give up their seats to the elderly or pregnant, there r also 2 sides to the coin. My mom was on tge train when a well dressed senior citizen boarded. A lady asked him nicely if he would like her seat n got reprimanded loudly by him for sittin in the reserved seat in the first place. She tried to explain that the train was quite empty n she was tired when she boarded but the man just shoved his senior citizen pass in her face n asked if she knows wat senior citizen means. Since she dun qualify, she doesnt deserve that reserved seat.


My mom was trying to tell me that if i offer my seat to old folks, walk away fr the grumpy ones, hahaha

[limlim]

Mrsbongz:

A lady asked him nicely if he would like her seat n got reprimanded loudly by him for sittin in the reserved seat in the first place. She tried to explain that the train was quite empty n she was tired when she boarded but the man just shoved his senior citizen pass in her face n asked if she knows wat senior citizen means. Since she dun qualify, she doesnt deserve that reserved seat.

I never heard of any law in SG that normal pple cannot take \"reserved\" seat.

If she doesn't offer that seat, he also LLST.. I would really like to see someone refusing to give up his seat and challenge him to call police..

Not that I condone ungracious behaviour but since the lady already offered her seat, why need to criticize her? And I really see no reason why should anyone let the resource go wasted (seats not taken).

That senior citizen really need to wake up his idea..

[Angelight]

You asked what's the problem with asking? Well, not everyone is 'thick-skin\" or bold enough to ask. Most pple, which includes my mum, aren't.


And there is NOTHING wrong to take the reserved seats if the train or bus is empty. It is not a crime. But it is morally wrong if a person still sits on that reserved seat when someone more needy like a pregnant woman or elderly person needs that seat more than him, and he pretends not to see or worse, expects the other person to ask for the seat first. It just shows the inconsiderate person's character and upbringing. And I pity the boy for having such parents as \"role models\".

limlim:

What's the problem with asking actually?

If you need the seat, then just ask \"Excuse me, if you don't mind, can you let me have the seat?\". And definitely not \"This seat is meant for those with special needs\" right at the start.

Sometimes, it's not easy to differentiate between a fat woman and one who is pregnant. It would be better if the person can just ask. And ask in a nice way, not giving the other party the impression of criticising him/her for doing something wrong.

Sometimes, the person might have taken the seat bcoz at the time of boarding, there is no needy pple and it is simply a waste of resources if the seat is left empty. And later on, a needy person might have boarded but did not catch the attention of the person with the seat. In this case, just asking nicely would usually do the trick.

[Angelight]

Mrsbongz, I agree with you that sometimes pple may not appreciate your kindness. I once gave up my seat (normal seat, not reserved) to an elderly woman on a train. She turned me down nicely, saying she is alighting soon. I sat down again, feeling a little embarrassed for being \"rejected\". But it's ok, at least I offered her my seat.

Mrsbongz:

While i agree that there r inconsiderate pple who do give up their seats to the elderly or pregnant, there r also 2 sides to the coin. My mom was on tge train when a well dressed senior citizen boarded. A lady asked him nicely if he would like her seat n got reprimanded loudly by him for sittin in the reserved seat in the first place. She tried to explain that the train was quite empty n she was tired when she boarded but the man just shoved his senior citizen pass in her face n asked if she knows wat senior citizen means. Since she dun qualify, she doesnt deserve that reserved seat.

My mom was trying to tell me that if i offer my seat to old folks, walk away fr the grumpy ones, hahaha

[limlim]

You say your mom is not \"bold enough\" to ask, but bold enough to lecture someone that the seat is \"meant for someone with special needs\"? Trying to give a lecture will likely invoke the kind of response that she encountered. Maybe if she just ask nicely and say she needs the seat, the outcome might have been different..?


To the question of someone more needy, that is very subjective.. a 60yo can look fit, and a fat woman can appear like pregnant. If the person never say, how can others tell? Unless it is very obvious case.

Or if they are really paiseh and cannot open their mouth to ask, then, wear a tag or something so that others can identify them as \"needy\" people. Or wear the senior citizen pass outside.

As for pregnant woman, they should help themselves by always wearing maternity dress etc.. that way, it is easier for pple to judge and offer their seats accordingly, w/o end up embarrassing both parties. Saw some woman, looks like pregnant, wearing a loose dress but not a typical maternity dress, and wearing heels?!.. really can't tell whether they are fat or pregnant....

Angelight:

You asked what's the problem with asking? Well, not everyone is 'thick-skin\" or bold enough to ask. Most pple, which includes my mum, aren't.

And there is NOTHING wrong to take the reserved seats if the train or bus is empty. It is not a crime. But it is morally wrong if a person still sits on that reserved seat when someone more needy like a pregnant woman or elderly person needs that seat more than him, and he pretends not to see or worse, expects the other person to ask for the seat first. It just shows the inconsiderate person's character and upbringing. And I pity the boy for having such parents as \"role models\".

limlim:

What's the problem with asking actually?

If you need the seat, then just ask \"Excuse me, if you don't mind, can you let me have the seat?\". And definitely not \"This seat is meant for those with special needs\" right at the start.