Any P5 girl request to go shopping with classmates.

[MrsSeah]

Maybe you can organise a small gathering for her at home and invite her friend to come over to your place instead of them going shopping. :roll:


I will feel uncomfortable for my girl to go out with friend at this age too.

[Suz855]

Today our kids grow up faster than we want, they are at the rebellious age earlier

before the onset of their teens ... Also they like to hang around with their friends better than the family ... Only way is to be as supportive and laid down the right boundaries for them to follow and of course, allowing them to invite their friends are good measure to understand the friends they mix around ... Just my 0.02 cent cause my dd1 is exactly the same, only diff is she is a bookworm n hate shopping..

[Herbie]

personally i will not let my dd go shoping with her friends at such a young age.

[Otah]

me too. will not agree that kids go shopping after school especially when they are still primary school age. I have my kids attend after school care center since P1 and this request has never come to me so far, probably because they have friends study and play together in the afternoon at the center and not bored. But I do allow my P5/6 ds attend his classmate birthday invitation on weekend if there is.

[Musicstar]

Thank for everyone reply.


My DD told me that they want to leave a memorable to go neo print to take a picture. Her classmate is going to shift house to another place. She feel sad to leave her. They have a lot of ideas and etc… I’m firm that not agree them to do so.

I told my DD to take camera take pic if they really want a memorable one.

[MMM]

My eldest is only P4… but I don’t think I will let her go if she is P5. Does seem alittle young to go shopping with friends. In terms of influence, I suppose it all voice down to individual characters. Eg. my P3 would come back and tell us that a friend actually brought $1k to school to buy stuff during the fair. The friend’s monthly pocket money is $1k etc… So in situation like that, iso encouraging him to envy the friend, we really need to educate them and inculcate them with our family values.


Eg. I personally think it’s not right for the other child’s parents to let the child bring so much money to school. Not against them but rather from our personal values, it’s not right as in will it encourage theft, and does a P3 really need $1k for a fair??? This sounds ridiculous to me actually. Unless the child is trying to flaunt his family wealth in school.

I told my son that even if we can afford, that is not the right way to do it. This is not in our value system. So there is nothing to envy but rather, something is not right with the way his friend does it.

[Chenonceau]

MMM:

My eldest is only P4... but I don't think I will let her go if she is P5. Does seem alittle young to go shopping with friends. In terms of influence, I suppose it all voice down to individual characters. Eg. my P3 would come back and tell us that a friend actually brought $1k to school to buy stuff during the fair. The friend's monthly pocket money is $1k etc... So in situation like that, iso encouraging him to envy the friend, we really need to educate them and inculcate them with our family values.


Eg. I personally think it's not right for the other child's parents to let the child bring so much money to school. Not against them but rather from our personal values, it's not right as in will it encourage theft, and does a P3 really need $1k for a fair???? This sounds ridiculous to me actually. Unless the child is trying to flaunt his family wealth in school.

I told my son that even if we can afford, that is not the right way to do it. This is not in our value system. So there is nothing to envy but rather, something is not right with the way his friend does it.

:goodpost:

[2ppaamm]

My girls are never allowed to go shopping with friends, even now that they are 15 and 13. I get worried that they might mix with the wrong crowd, hang out for the wrong reasons, or pick up wrong habits from the wrong kids.


Now, my girls are a little bit more ‘sua-ku’ than your average kids, even compared to their brother. Kor-kor had been going out without me ferrying him around since 14, but not the girls, because I am a little bit more protective with the girls.

I think there are advantages and disadvantages. Advantages is that you have full control of their situations and you know they are not exposed to any potential problem. The disadvantage is that you get very naive and ‘innocent’ girls, which could potentially be gullible.

My older girl is now in the uni and so I taught her to take the public transport. She manages to get around and to the shopping mall to buy stuff (normally craft and hobby supplies, and groceries for the family) once a week. But my rule is that you can go buy stuff, but not hang out in the shopping areas. Max in a shopping centre is 30 minutes for my girls.

If you reign tightly like I did, I guess the kids are a bit ‘reserved’ compared to girls who are allowed to do and go out with friends. We then need to teach them wisdom and explain the rationale behind what we do. I think we ought to be even more careful not to ruin a relationship when we forbid our kids going out with friends, lest they hide information or go out without permission.

I guess each kid is different, so do what you think is right, and explain your action carefully and clearly so she is always on your side.

Hope this helps!

[KiasuAdult]

for this u will have to see whether ur child is mature enough. if she is still too naive and believes people easily then dun allow her to go out. but make sure u explain ur decision to her otherwise she will think u r unreasonable. if ur girl is mature and she can be trusted i feel she should be allowed to go out as parents can't control their children forever before u let them go out u should always educate them on the dos and don'ts. if u r really worried about their ability to control themselves then just let them go window shopping. JMHO hope this helps!

[notakidnoraparent]

2ppaamm:

My girls are never allowed to go shopping with friends, even now that they are 15 and 13. I get worried that they might mix with the wrong crowd, hang out for the wrong reasons, or pick up wrong habits from the wrong kids.


Now, my girls are a little bit more 'sua-ku' than your average kids, even compared to their brother. Kor-kor had been going out without me ferrying him around since 14, but not the girls, because I am a little bit more protective with the girls.

I think there are advantages and disadvantages. Advantages is that you have full control of their situations and you know they are not exposed to any potential problem. The disadvantage is that you get very naive and 'innocent' girls, which could potentially be gullible.

My older girl is now in the uni and so I taught her to take the public transport. She manages to get around and to the shopping mall to buy stuff (normally craft and hobby supplies, and groceries for the family) once a week. But my rule is that you can go buy stuff, but not hang out in the shopping areas. Max in a shopping centre is 30 minutes for my girls.

If you reign tightly like I did, I guess the kids are a bit 'reserved' compared to girls who are allowed to do and go out with friends. We then need to teach them wisdom and explain the rationale behind what we do. I think we ought to be even more careful not to ruin a relationship when we forbid our kids going out with friends, lest they hide information or go out without permission.

I guess each kid is different, so do what you think is right, and explain your action carefully and clearly so she is always on your side.

Hope this helps!

Wah mummy. You are hardcore. I feel that you are pulling too tight on the leash though. Though they might be all agreeable at home and stuff like that, you would never know what they are doing behind your back. Cos I believe that the more you restrain a kid from doing something they want to do, all the more they will do it behind your back.

After all, what's worse than finding out later that they already did things without you knowing? Perhaps allow them to go out but give them a curfew? I am sure they have often been asked out by their friends countless of times and if they are turning them down because you do not allow them to go out, very soon they might find themselves with no friends. Children at that age are very pragmatic. If they constantly ask someone to hang out but gets rejected everytime, they will stop being friends with them.

You might very well be destroying their social circle. And I strongly believe that later in life, its better to know how to handle and behave in front of people cos those are the things that school does not teach you. If you keep them at home all the time, the only people they know how to behave to is only you. When they go out to work, they will suffer. I know this cos when I was in poly, I met this girl who was really great in academics and always top the class for tests and such. But in poly, there are job attachments. So I was sent to the same attachment centre as her, and to make things worse for her, it was a call centre where we are required to pick up calls and think fast.

Needless to say, she broke down and cried after a week cos the stress was too much for her to handle and she never bothered to try to make friends in the workplace because she was just too shy.

Hope this would give you an insight that you should not control them too much. Give them a little breathing space.