All About Autism

[ImMeeMee]

Lavina:

Thank you autumnbronze and ImMeeMee.


The youtube clip is too sad for me.

Have anyone read this blog (http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.com) before? The blogger is a computer engineer with aspergers. He has 2 sons who are also ASD. He touches on many issues - very informative.

I was trying to find out why my DS is inattentive and he wrote:
\"our aspie brains are constantly flicking back to our special interests whether we like it or not. It's like trying to watch TV with someone who keeps \"checking another channel\" every few minutes. It's amazing that we can concentrate on anything other than our special interests.\"
And DS says it totally feels like that! The teacher flashes in and out of his mind. Imagine that?

I also enjoy reading about his growing up stories and his life. Highly recommended.

yes, the youtube clip was sad. it brought about great emotions within me while I was viewing it. one thing it taught me though, is to be more tolerant of people who are seemingly different from me, and not be judgemental.

thanks for the recommendations on the blogspot. very informative.

[ImMeeMee]

windie:

Lavina, thank you for sharing, I was inspired. I hope to rid suicide thoughts at some point in time and channel my energy to helping ds to the best of my abilities instead of worrying. You are a great mom. Jia You!

windie, I hope you are feeling better now. i sometimes feel despair as well as there seems no light at the end of the tunnel. dont give up, and keep trying. that's as much as we can do to help our children.

[schweppes]

windie:

Lavina, thank you for sharing, I was inspired. I hope to rid suicide thoughts at some point in time and channel my energy to helping ds to the best of my abilities instead of worrying. You are a great mom. Jia You!

:grphug: :grphug: :grphug:

ImMeeMee:

windie, I hope you are feeling better now. i sometimes feel despair as well as there seems no light at the end of the tunnel. dont give up, and keep trying. that's as much as we can do to help our children.

:grphug: :grphug: :grphug:

[windie]

ImMeeMee:

windie:

Lavina, thank you for sharing, I was inspired. I hope to rid suicide thoughts at some point in time and channel my energy to helping ds to the best of my abilities instead of worrying. You are a great mom. Jia You!

windie, I hope you are feeling better now. i sometimes feel despair as well as there seems no light at the end of the tunnel. dont give up, and keep trying. that's as much as we can do to help our children.

Thanks ImMeeMee and Schweppes, i will never ever give up! God only chooses special moms to care for children who have more difficulties than others. We are a special lot of committed mummies

[ImMeeMee]

windie:

God only chooses special moms to care for children who have more difficulties than others. We are a special lot of committed mummies

I sometimes try to encourage myself with that. but it doesnt work all the time, especially during those times when I feel like I am drowning. :sad: :imdrowning:

in any case, 共勉之。 :hugs:

[Sun_2010]

windie:

We are a special lot of committed mummies

Yes you all are. :salute:

Once in a way come down to this thread to hear you all.

Your strength and vulnerability both - over power me

I see you trying to look at things from your child's perspective, i take a step back and see mine more clearly.

I see you learn and adapt and give your best for your child - against all odds - emotional, financial, social. And that motivates me to be a better mom.

I see you accept your low moods a part of life, and I start to accept myself too.

I see the spirit shared by you moms ( and dads) and its so beautiful !

Without a doubt - you are a very special lot!

Jia You!

:grphug:

[ImMeeMee]

Sun_2010:

Yes you all are. :salute:

Once in a way come down to this thread to hear you all.

Your strength and vulnerability both - over power me

I see you trying to look at things from your child's perspective, i take a step back and see mine more clearly.

I see you learn and adapt and give your best for your child - against all odds - emotional, financial, social. And that motivates me to be a better mom.

I see you accept your low moods a part of life, and I start to accept myself too.

I see the spirit shared by you moms ( and dads) and its so beautiful !

Without a doubt - you are a very special lot!

Jia You!

:grphug:

thanks for the good words. For me, it is hardly an enviable position, especially where I am a FTWM, especially where I need to travel frequently for my work (as I am doing now). it is a constant internal struggle for me everyday. sometimes I do go into a state of confusion myself on what i am doing or should be doing.

hardly enviable.

[windie]

ImMeeMee:

thanks for the good words. For me, it is hardly an enviable position, especially where I am a FTWM, especially where I need to travel frequently for my work (as I am doing now). it is a constant internal struggle for me everyday. sometimes I do go into a state of confusion myself on what i am doing or should be doing.

hardly enviable.

I'm sure it is not easy when you need to travel frequently, you have even lesser time for everything but I am sure you're doing the best that you can :hugs:

On many days, i also struggle if i shd continue working so i can do more for him in the day. But not working would also mean i wldnt be able to afford the therapies and learn the techniques to teach him. I'm sure many of us struggle esp when our kids really need more help

[schweppes]

Sometimes, I think it does not matter whether we are FTWM, PTWM or SAHM. Doesn’t make a difference, as either way, we will probably feel that whatever we are doing is never enough; probably wishing that we could do more.


I was thriving in my career when I finally decided to quit being FTWM. Coming to that decision was a real struggle. Really at the crossroads of my life. I gave up 3 promotions, a scholarship offer to further my post-grad studies in France and another invitation to do a PhD at Cornell Uni. My former boss, colleagues and friends thought I was mad to pass up on so many good opportunities. My husband was very supportive of whatever decision I undertake and his words each time to me were, "whatever you decide, don’t blame the kids."

Sometimes, I wonder about the choices I’ve made, but I don’t regret them. Deep down, I know I have made the right decision and there are no regrets. My family comes first.

I was fortunate that the organization I was working for was a family friendly one. So before I quit being FTWM, I tried all sorts of work scheme available to working moms. I’ve done the 1/2 time route, 2/3 time route but realized that it was not worth it. That’s because, I still put in full-time efforts even when I was on part-time scheme and only received the 1/2time or 2/3 time pay. So, not worth it.

In the end, decided that being the part-time working mom was the way to go for me. There’s bills to be paid so not working is not an option. And of course, I need my retail therapy to keep me sane (even going to the supermarket makes me happy), so definitely have to earn my own keep.

These days when people ask what I do, I tell them that I am an odd-job labourer. It’s true, since I take on odd-job assignments. I’m happier these days as I dictate my working hours even though I have my peak and lull periods at work.

Think what’s important is that we are all doing the best we can. I think if we all have a choice, we’d rather not work and be able to spend time to help our kids. But reality is that there’s bills to be paid and sometimes, a certain standard of living we want to maintain and indulge our kids in. So, we do what we can within our means and our abilities.

I still wish I can do more for my family but I know I have my limitations as well. Sometimes, I multi-task so much that I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. It’s very tiring with all the running around. But hoping and praying for a better tomorrow keeps me going.

[schweppes]

windie:

ImMeeMee:

thanks for the good words. For me, it is hardly an enviable position, especially where I am a FTWM, especially where I need to travel frequently for my work (as I am doing now). it is a constant internal struggle for me everyday. sometimes I do go into a state of confusion myself on what i am doing or should be doing.

hardly enviable.

I'm sure it is not easy when you need to travel frequently, you have even lesser time for everything but I am sure you're doing the best that you can :hugs:

On many days, i also struggle if i shd continue working so i can do more for him in the day. But not working would also mean i wldnt be able to afford the therapies and learn the techniques to teach him. I'm sure many of us struggle esp when our kids really need more help

So very true. It's a situation we all face. Must keep telling ourselves that we are all doing whatever we can to the best of our abilities.