In-law problems?
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Flowermonaster:
Why some MIL so mean? Could it be they got nothing better to do? Like no hobby, so making things difficult for DIL and want to be involved in everything becomes her hobby? if ILs got own programs, will they still find time to be so concern about their DIL? Just wondering..... :?
it is like a circle (no beginning no ending). many people (past, current and future) do not know how to be parents. most (especially our grandparents and parents) follow the examples of their parents and the families they married into. to them especially the women, \"oh i was treated in this manner, so this should be the way i handle my kids/sil/dil\" (kinda like tradition :siao: ).
the family values and how a family is raised play a part in how the kids want his own future family to be like. that is also why so many highly educated parents still put the value of a boy above a girl cos' that's their family value for many generations.
besides, there were limited parenting books, internet access etc available in spore some 20 years ago especially for the average joe.
honestly, if i have to handle difficult family members, i dont know what kind of person i would be now. just like a village girl living in a city for a few years, how much of that \"purity\" would she be able to retain. -
LOLMum:
Could it be human nature? My friend told me his nephew, who is in Army now, was being purposely \"punished\" by his corporal (don't know if that's what they called). He said next time he will do the same to those newly enrol army boys. :yikes:
it is like a circle (no beginning no ending). many people (past, current and future) do not know how to be parents. most (especially our grandparents and parents) follow the examples of their parents and the families they married into. to them especially the women, \"oh i was treated in this manner, so this should be the way i handle my kids/sil/dil\" (kinda like tradition :siao: ).
It could be the same as MIL's mentality! :siao: -
haha, maybe is an eye for an eye mentality. :rotflmao:
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Dear Mummies,
I would like to apologise for stepping into the dialect group when i venting my anger. So sorry… -
haha, you only have 1 mil, so natural path of thought would be dialect group, so for me, wasnt a big deal. :imcool:
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Actually every dialect group will have difficult MILs. Mine is Cantonese. She is not wayang type, but the ‘still waters run deep’ type. When she is angry, she will not show it openly but quietly backstabs from behind. That is even more scary than the wayang type.
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Yes mine is also cantonese, she does not wayang at all. She just uses words to hurt and it is so subtle that most of the time, you feel that she is jabbing you but if you complain, it seems you are unreasonable.
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Chenonceau:
Yup, yup. Just hvg some fun at my own expense. No offense to anyone.sall:
I don't think it's fair to say that Teochew mils are wayang and overbearing. It depends on the personality of the mil, NOT the DIALECT GROUP.
No lah... Funz was poking fun at herself only. :rotflmao:
Right Funz?
Think all of us are not that prejudiced. Just that there is always that age old stigma attached to each dialect grp and inevitably, that will be discussed as we try to find make up some excuse for why certain mil act a certain way. -
Angelight:
Actually every dialect group will have difficult MILs. Mine is Cantonese. She is not wayang type, but the 'still waters run deep' type. When she is angry, she will not show it openly but quietly backstabs from behind. That is even more scary than the wayang type.
Same here. My MIL is also Cantonese. She likes to talk something bad about me behind my back or used Cantonese to say something about me. She tot tat I dont understand but too bad, I was a fan of tvbs drama (hk) previously and learned Cantonese from tat time.
I wont retort my MIL whatever she said anything nasty(indirectly) to me unless it is too unbearable. I will endure it until I reached home. Poor hb is my 出气筒 . Fortunately we have reduced the no of time going to her house for dinner since she is no longer care for dd1. The conflict between us will become lesser I hope. -
I always thought that I was just being unlucky to have a rude,meddlesome, and unfriendly mil. It was only when I chanced upon this thread, seems like all mil share the same character ! Why can’t women be nice to women of another generation?
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