In-law problems?

[Chenonceau]

Angelight:

I wish I could 'laugh it off' too, Chen. But my MIL is no easy pea to deal with. She is such an extremely good actress that she can convince the whole world she is a good MIL to me but ONLY DH and I know best. :sick:


Btw, any of your hubbies give their mothers monthly allowance? Mine does, from the time he graduated and started worked until now when he has his own family...she said is to repay her the money she had spent on his overseas education. But isn't it parents' responsibililty to provide for their children's education? Especially when they can well afford to.

Any views on this? I don't know cos I paid my own way (from giving tuition and part time work) thru uni as my family couldn't afford it.

Chenonceau:

Soooooooo... Angelight... it seems that lotsa people go for the strategy Laugh and Think Them Silly!! :rotflmao:

:snuggles: Come here and vent. We'll be here to listen and empathise.

My husband gives them enough to get by. They have no money otherwise. I give mine an allowance but it is a token. My own parents are very comfortably off.

[Angelight]

Thanks, Chen. :hugs: Venting it out here does help, to a certain extent. But when I'm offline and have to face that 'mountain' again, my heart sank to the lowest pit. :sad:

[auntieM]

Would be so lucky if just giving monthly allowance.. ..

DH have to handle gambling debts (BIL's as well), dinners and never ending 'gatherings'.. ..birthdays and anniversary...blah.. :faint:
Last couple of years DH stopped attending quite a few liao, told MIL we're busy.. ..MIL just keep calling..
I keep quiet de.. ...DH have to 'wake up his idea' on his own.. .. :roll:

[Angelight]

Yeah, my DH is also the sole bread winner in our family. And my MIL is not short of money too. In fact, she goes for exotic vacations with my FIL 2-3 times a year and she can even afford to buy branded bags like Coach and Kate Spade.


Actually I don't mind DH gives her allowance, even though his money is also our money. But I don't like her calculative and bias attitude towards me and DH.

Mamo:

Mine still gives though my MIL is not short of money. She once said that he has to continue giving her when he joked about stopping. Wonder why she needs so much money when she has enough to spend and not spare a thought for her son who is the sole breadwinner.

[auntieM]

Angelight:

Thanks, Chen. :hugs: Venting it out here does help, to a certain extent. But when I'm offline and have to face that 'mountain' again, my heart sank to the lowest pit. :sad:

:hugs: Cheerio!
I rant quite a fair bit here too.. .. :frustrated:
But my situation now is much better compared to what some of our KSP mummies like you are going thru.. .. :nunchuk:

[racoon12]

We are giving allowance to MIL as she is taking care of our children althou she stay in the same roof with us and definitely more well off than us. But that is in order to shut her off telling others we asked her to take care of our kids for free.


I am also giving monthly allowance to my mum as she is nt working...

Auntie M,
I noe how u feel.... as my DH also the one who forked up $$ when his fam are going out. but since we are not doing it every forthnite so i just dun be bother.... (since its his own money)...

[ningning]

After reading all DIL problems with MIL ,I knew that i was not alone in this world to face "weird" MIL. My MIL think was the worst of all, wanted to beat me with umbrella then. Hokkien believed that got beaten with umbrella is very "bad luck" thing. see she wanted me to be extremely "unlucky". My mum and sister said "wow" very very evil "MIL". My mum was angry then and called my FIL to question him and he dare not admit that his wife had behaved this irrationally. Not suprise to us, when he told my mum that i deserved it if it did happened!! My mum was shocked and wonder are they "human" ? after the incident, actually my mum had told me that if i wasnt happy with my marriage and if my hubby cant "protect" me ( coz he worked in his father business) , she wanted me to retink what i want in my life. She told me she wantd me to be happy and will support whatever decision i made. i was very moved then and cried for many many days then. I was glad that i still have my mum to understand and support what i had to sacrifice inorder for this marriage to stay intact. my mum said she was sad that her DD had been treated like a dirt in that family. My mum is a buddhist , She used to tell me to respect others and as long as it is a life. But she told me "dun need lah" for that family. I always tell my friends, that my ten years marriage is with lots of tears and scars but also with happiness. To survive this long in this marriage , my DH had played an impt role and my cute two year old baby. i remember a friend had told me , life is like present, sometimes you open the not so good first, but the good happy one will follow eventually.

[Angelight]

Ningning, I can understand completely when you said your marriage is with "lots of tears and scars, but also happiness". Mine too.


Initially I did wonder if the happiness was worth all the tears and scars, and even wanted to give up. My MIL almost wrecked my marriage. But after I had DD, I would still choose DH if I had to start all over again. But now I would fight fiercely to protect my marriage and family.

[auntieM]

ningning,

It is really tough for you to be handling/living life like this everyday… …
Have you thought about your DD? She will grow up soon enough and will be able to understand what’s happening in the household, not to mention the ‘abuse’ part…
Sit down and have a chat with you hubby, is there any other way out?
Is the suffering necessary or worth it at all?

Juz my $0.02… …

[ningning]

Angelight:

Ningning, I can understand completely when you said your marriage is with \"lots of tears and scars, but also happiness\". Mine too.


Initially I did wonder if the happiness was worth all the tears and scars, and even wanted to give up. My MIL almost wrecked my marriage. But after I had DD, I would still choose DH if I had to start all over again. But now I would fight fiercely to protect my marriage and family.

Hi Angelight,
you are not alone this world that has a MIL tat wanted to wreck your marriage. ya, fully agreed we have to fight and think ways to protect our marriage and family. :rahrah: Yes ,at one point in my life , i wonder too \"is that worth it\" then my baby came. I am a buddhist, I believe that heaven had wanted me to know then that there is hope for this marriage, dun give up . Had i gave up that time, if this life i would only knew i had an unhappy failed marriage and given my character, i may not want another marriage coz i am too too tired liao. Me , these days i cut off all communications with them at my very best level. Life has been peaceful and sweet so far now with my DH and DD without them( my evil MIL n SIL and my henpeck FIL) in my life. But i feel sorry for my DD that she has very little contact with her mama and gonggong. But i also knew they dun miss her these much lah. But how can i raise my DD to be a happy healthy girl if i was to be so unhappy again with these evils ppl in my life again? so , no choice lor.......my girl.....