In-law problems?

[ningning]

Angelight:

Ningning, I can understand completely when you said your marriage is with \"lots of tears and scars, but also happiness\". Mine too.


Initially I did wonder if the happiness was worth all the tears and scars, and even wanted to give up. My MIL almost wrecked my marriage. But after I had DD, I would still choose DH if I had to start all over again. But now I would fight fiercely to protect my marriage and family.

Hi Angelight,
you are not alone this world that has a MIL tat wanted to wreck your marriage. ya, fully agreed we have to fight and think ways to protect our marriage and family. :rahrah: Yes ,at one point in my life , i wonder too \"is that worth it\" then my baby came. I am a buddhist, I believe that heaven had wanted me to know then that there is hope for this marriage, dun give up . Had i gave up that time, if this life i would only knew i had an unhappy failed marriage and given my character, i may not want another marriage coz i am too too tired liao. Me , these days i cut off all communications with them at my very best level. Life has been peaceful and sweet so far now with my DH and DD without them( my evil MIL n SIL and my henpeck FIL) in my life. But i feel sorry for my DD that she has very little contact with her mama and gonggong. But i also knew they dun miss her these much lah. But how can i raise my DD to be a happy healthy girl if i was to be so unhappy again with these evils ppl in my life again? so , no choice lor.......my girl.....

[Funz]

Alamak, been following this thread too often liao. Talk about jinxing things.


Things have been relatively peaceful lately and last night, MIL had to call say she told her sis that we want a dining table set that the sis is getting rid of. DH ask her why would we want one, we have a perfectly good one oredi. She said to put our current dining set in the garden and put the one that her sis is getting rid of in our dining room. :siao:

DH tried to explain to her that we don't need another set of dining table and chairs and she kept saying but it is in gd condition and she oredi reserved it for us. After a few minutes, DH lost his patience and told her off, to stop collecting other people's unwanted stuff to put in our house. If she want it she can go and collect it herself and put in her house, not ours. This is not the first time that she did that. She did exactly the same thing when we were first married, it was a sofa set then, and DH at that time was more of a mummy's boy and did whatever she asked. That drove me nuts cos the items were not in good condition, does not blend with our decor and we have to spend money to get people to collect and eventually dispose.

And from there, it went from furnitures to how we do not appreciate her gestures and how she always have us in her heart but we keep rejecting her good intentions, dah dah dah. I :siam: the moment I saw DH losing his patience with her. I know bad of me. But his mother he handle, my mother I handle.

[Mamo]

Hi Ningning,


My mum also called my MIL once to ask her why she treated me that way and she aggressively said that "your daughter can’t be bulled easily" blah blah blah. Right after that, she called my DH and cried pitifully to say that my mum called to scold her. My DH believed her and we had a big argument. My mum was so upset about the accusation.

[Mamo]

Funz:

Alamak, been following this thread too often liao. Talk about jinxing things.


Things have been relatively peaceful lately and last night, MIL had to call say she told her sis that we want a dining table set that the sis is getting rid of. DH ask her why would we want one, we have a perfectly good one oredi. She said to put our current dining set in the garden and put the one that her sis is getting rid of in our dining room. :siao:

DH tried to explain to her that we don't need another set of dining table and chairs and she kept saying but it is in gd condition and she oredi reserved it for us. After a few minutes, DH lost his patience and told her off, to stop collecting other people's unwanted stuff to put in our house. If she want it she can go and collect it herself and put in her house, not ours. This is not the first time that she did that. She did exactly the same thing when we were first married, it was a sofa set then, and DH at that time was more of a mummy's boy and did whatever she asked. That drove me nuts cos the items were not in good condition, does not blend with our decor and we have to spend money to get people to collect and eventually dispose.

And from there, it went from furnitures to how we do not appreciate her gestures and how she always have us in her heart but we keep rejecting her good intentions, dah dah dah. I :siam: the moment I saw DH losing his patience with her. I know bad of me. But his mother he handle, my mother I handle.

Same here, my MIL like to take things, including foodstuff, from her siblings whether she needs it or not. Then she will try to pass to us. Luckily my DH always says no 'cos he knows I won't like it.

[Chenonceau]

Mamo:

Same here, my MIL like to take things, including foodstuff, from her siblings whether she needs it or not. Then she will try to pass to us. Luckily my DH always says no 'cos he knows I won't like it.

Mine likes to take my things and give 'em away. In the past, she used to deploy my maid to her sister's house... and make off with empty plastic chests that I use to organize my closets... and she would volunteer my services to pick up relatives' children from playschool. In the process, she collected a lot of goodwill but it was my effort and my belongings. She would even make off with half loaves of bread...

I can't believe that I just let her do that to me!! Now of course, she doesn't anymore.

[Mamo]

Chenonceau:

Mamo:

Same here, my MIL like to take things, including foodstuff, from her siblings whether she needs it or not. Then she will try to pass to us. Luckily my DH always says no 'cos he knows I won't like it.

Mine likes to take my things and give 'em away. In the past, she used to deploy my maid to her sister's house... and make off with empty plastic chests that I use to organize my closets... and she would volunteer my services to pick up relatives' children from playschool. In the process, she collected a lot of goodwill but it was my effort and my belongings. She would even make off with half loaves of bread...

I can't believe that I just let her do that to me!! Now of course, she doesn't anymore.

Isn't that too much?!?

[BeContented]

Same here lah. MIL would try to take stuff that relatives dun want and try to shove to us....from clothes, plates, plastic containers, food, shoe rack etc. Over the years, she has mellowed down cos' initially didn't want to incur her wrath so I would accept and dispose them behind her back....later, she realised it & by then, DH also not as supportive of her actions anymore.


Remembered when she brought over 10 bottles of soya sauce when she shifted in.....I checked and found 6 expired, dump it right in front of her face. She still wanted to keep and pass to others....told her off. And during the China - tainted milk period, she still buy/collect sweets from others to give to my young children....told her straight at her face, whatever I come across, I'll throw....so dun bother and dun talk to me about wastefulness in this case

[Chenonceau]

LKVM:

Looks like seriously we all are some where or the other in the same boat... in my initial days MIL also tried to be violent and when my parents question she said i didnt behave and she did cause she felt she can do the her kids :faint: imagine not even saying sorry but on top of that defending what she did is right..

Oh goodness!! She tried to hit you too!!

[Chenonceau]

Mamo:

Isn't that too much?!?

Her idea was that everything that belonged to me, also belonged to my husband. Everything that belonged to my husband, belonged to her. Therefore, she could do anything she wanted with anything that belonged to me without asking. I didn't tell her off.

I just kept on asking for my belongings back until she understood. For a few years after that, I was the selfish one who didn't know how to share. But that's ok. If a reputation for selfishness meant that people would respect my space then I was happy to add to that reputation.

[racoon12]

my MIL is person who like to whine in front of her daughter, telling her my kids are so poor thing, their mummy dun give them good thing to eat. I do not like the thing that she bought cos it is from CHINA & u noe the reputation of China thingy (somemore it is edible thing). Then nowadays she change tactics saying that the thing that she bought is actually from my SIL. My hubby is actually taking to his sister but the sister is someone who stood by my MIL, taking in every single breath n word that the mum is saying… Pissed me off…