In-law problems?

[Chenonceau]

LKVM:

Chenonceau:

[quote=\"LKVM\"]
She held my hand tightly(the blue mark was there till dunno a week or so ) and pushed me down... imagine I was preggie that time... :faint:

Ouch! That must have hurt!! To leave a bruise like that!

The physical marks are gone liao.. however the emotional marks which she left it on me will never go... :sad:[/quote]That is true. Most people don't realise that psychological abuse is far worse than physical pain. A lot of psychological pain does not heal.

[Chenonceau]

LKVM:

BeContented:

That is terrible. To use such violence esp. during your pregnancy?!!! I probably would have made a big hooha over it & I will not give my DH any peace over this - 60yrs issue man. Even now when MIL would just tap me hard on shoulder or sometimes grab and turn me over (cos' I was unaware she was talking to me), I already very buay-song. I WILL fight back if anyone try to use violence on me :nunchuk: but first of course, there will be a BIG cry....cos' I cannot take such treatment :rotflmao:

Yes dear the problem is when this happened I was so shocked dunno how to react.. so I cried.. then later when DH came she oredi covered saying i was impossible to handle liao so she just pushed me.. when I showed the marks to DH he said oh mom must be really angry next time dont make her so much angry :stompfeet:

I can't believe she did that to you! You're such reasonable and loving person!!

[mummy of 2]

LKVM:

DesertWind:

Not own mother..such things not easily forgotten nor forgivable....

:scared:

Yeah lor.. thats what I questioned DH what if my dad slapped him then how.. he didnt say anything but I know he will never ever talk to him but for me well................................................................

Double standard :spank:

[Funz]

:siao: MIL and :spank: :nunchuk: :heresmyfish: :torchme: your DH


Sorry but how can your DH still make excuses for your MIL.

If that were to happen to me, think my parents will go ballistic and demand some affirmative action from DH to ensure that such things will never happen again.

Then again, my Dad says, he is more worried that I might be the one he has to reign in most of the time not so much that I will be the one on the short end of the stick. :razz:

[racoon12]

My MIL told me once when we quarreled ‘ur are DIL so i cant touch you’. But she is using mental abuse rather than physical abuse on me. Behaving like she is the king of the house when my hubby is on business trip. My children cant go near me. If not, she will start to give them order to fetch this n that or do this or that… I really cant stand it. How i wish i can order her to leave my house at once. so i can take reign.

However, she is behaving like an angel in front of my two SIL and her DHs, my BIL and his wife. So everyone think i am is the selfish, petty and cant get along with. Initially i am hurt. But now i cant be bothered.

[Chenonceau]

racoon12:

So everyone think i am is the selfish, petty and cant get along with. Initially i am hurt. But now i cant be bothered.

I didn't mind being thought selfish, petty and difficult (my MIL loved to say that about me) as long as I could do things my way.

[BeContented]

racoon12:

My MIL told me once when we quarreled 'ur are DIL so i cant touch you'. But she is using mental abuse rather than physical abuse on me. Behaving like she is the king of the house when my hubby is on business trip. My children cant go near me. If not, she will start to give them order to fetch this n that or do this or that.... I really cant stand it. How i wish i can order her to leave my house at once. so i can take reign.

However, she is behaving like an angel in front of my two SIL and her DHs, my BIL and his wife. So everyone think i am is the selfish, petty and cant get along with. Initially i am hurt. But now i cant be bothered.

Hmm....I can kinda relate to this. While think MIL not exactly too terrible, BIL came and inform me about MIL went teary and complaint to him that DH dotes on me which was quite untrue. DH quite partial type, in fact tilting more towards MIL cos' she's old liao....that I can understand and able to tolerate. But to go round telling others that, it sure make it look like I'm bullying her loh. Anyway, if ever not happy and other BIL wanna stand up for her, then bring her over to their own household........people in glass towers should not criticise others right? MIL can try to see if she can even step into other DIL's home.....despite just nearby, all the rest refused to give a spare key to her loh.

[racoon12]

Chenonceau,

Yeah.. u r rite. Since i am v petty so dun mesh up with me :). Unfortunately, my DH's family build their 'wall' towards me. Since they are behaving that, i oso the same loh... i try keep my cool & dun be bothered.

[Chenonceau]

MIL is moving in next month. Before I agreed to the arrangement, I took care to explain repeatedly that it will be a thankless job for me.


I am the one with flexible hours. I am the one who will need to tend to them and their problems. If they fall ill, I will also be the one to provide primary healthcare… or at least supervise its delivery. All these years, I am the one to drive them here and there… to medical appointments and such like. My husband has inflexibly long working hours.

Nonetheless, I am the one who gets saddled with the epithets "difficult" and "selfish". And whenever things irritate the old folks in daily living, it would be something I did or did not do. And even though we carved out 1000sq ft of space for the old folks to have their own space (kitchen, living, bedroom and garden), people will still talk and comment that it is ungracious of me not to share the whole house.

Luckily, on this one point, my MIL realizes (because I say it upfront) that this is something we did to give her dignity and self-respect in her golden years and she will correct the perception whenever she meets it. She shared with me that some of her friends may stay with the son, but they have no space to call their own except their room. So, I guess I am lucky.

[racoon12]

Becontented,

My MIL is putting her clothes in spare room at her other children's house in case we chase her out....