Club Only Child Club
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kaitlynangelica:
I keep telling myself there are advantageous to having only one child. My only gal is very very close to us and in this respect, I do not think that my family is in any way, disadvantaged to other families. Its also less financially straining. I know those with 2 or 3 kids will shoot me for passing this comment. But its really expensive to raise a child these days. Just think of all the tuition, enrichment, insurance and medical bills that we have had to fork out. What surprises me is how some are so attracted by the baby bonus thinking its sufficient for 21 years. I know a lady with three kids and she can't even afford to send her kids for swimming lessons. Her first child was a honeymoon baby, had the second because she wanted the tax rebate, and the third because she wanted a girl. She is struggling cos her working hours are long and hence has no time to spend with them. Also can't afford to send them for any tuiton as and when it is needed.
My god! Not being sour grapes about the lady with 3 kids, I rather have more time to spend with DS/DD rather than spread myself thin. When you cannot provide the basics ( to me time spent w them) , you may set yourself up for failure. Children are like young trees, you need to nuture them ( treat them w lots of love and care). If these young trees cannot withstand the wind, rain...they bend...like the many new young trees the NPD plant, the kids (eventually adults)may end up being in the more of a liability to society. -
kaitlynangelica:
I hate it when people insensitively ask \"is she the only one\"?
A lot of people can't emphathise and I am refering to those people who have 2 or more. Its hard for them to understand because its not that we don't have a child. Even my best friend, will just tell me that I mustn't be jealous of others and that hurts.
Alot of people out there who are fertile always thought conceiving is as easy as ABCs..they never went through the stress and torture we had. Some still can tell me on the face their \"accident\" rate are high if they do not take care of precaution.
Just like govt, they blame us for not giving birth and stopping at 1 hence birth rate low. But I did try hard for all these years, yet no outcome .. should I be penalized? -
just888:
Indirectly! We do not get tax rebates and/or enjoy baby bonus...kaitlynangelica:
I hate it when people insensitively ask \"is she the only one\"?
A lot of people can't emphathise and I am refering to those people who have 2 or more. Its hard for them to understand because its not that we don't have a child. Even my best friend, will just tell me that I mustn't be jealous of others and that hurts.
Alot of people out there who are fertile always thought conceiving is as easy as ABCs..they never went through the stress and torture we had. Some still can tell me on the face their \"accident\" rate are high if they do not take care of precaution.
Just like govt, they blame us for not giving birth and stopping at 1 hence birth rate low. But I did try hard for all these years, yet no outcome .. should I be penalized?
Dont you realise when places offer packages for family, it is always 2 adults and 2 kids???? -
just888:
Maybe people are tired of hearing us complain because there is no end to this and no closure unless a miracle happens.kaitlynangelica:
I hate it when people insensitively ask \"is she the only one\"?
A lot of people can't emphathise and I am refering to those people who have 2 or more. Its hard for them to understand because its not that we don't have a child. Even my best friend, will just tell me that I mustn't be jealous of others and that hurts.
Alot of people out there who are fertile always thought conceiving is as easy as ABCs..they never went through the stress and torture we had. Some still can tell me on the face their \"accident\" rate are high if they do not take care of precaution.
Just like govt, they blame us for not giving birth and stopping at 1 hence birth rate low. But I did try hard for all these years, yet no outcome .. should I be penalized?
I have to admit that ever since a couple of girlfriends of mine had no 2, I have stopped communicating with them us much cos it gets depressing for me. I kinda felt betrayed when that happened because they used to tell me that they wanted to stop at one only.
Sometimes to shut people up, I will just tell them that having one is okay. At least I am financially better and can give the best. -
I got pissed with my maid too over this issue.
I had my 2 miscarriages n 2008 and haven’t conceived since. She jolly well knows what happend to me.
I hate it when she tells me that so-and-so ( her relatives ) from back home are expecting. I remember when I had my 2nd miscarriage, her sister-in-law was pregnant and then she asked me for some baby things ( hand me downs from my dd ). Her SIL got pregnant again last year and she proudly came to tell me.
Another time she noticed that one of my church friends was expecting no 4 and she had to say :" Wow! So and So is expecting no 4!"
I can’t stop people from getting pregnant but I would appreciate if insensitive remarks were not made. -
kaitlynangelica,
I also avoid my fren who are insensitive ones, u are not the only ones. Having 1 kid he/she can have all our attentions. Let's continue to workhard who know miracle may happen. I am still trying.
monmon31,
Dun care about the family package lar... 2A2C also diffcult to stay in a room. 2A1C is so much easier. hahha.. Now our kid is older it is so much easier for us to travel with him/her.
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Angelight:
hahahah...yea!! :imcool:It's ok...you forgot your coffee right?
Supermomie:
Sorry..i mean Angelight
so sotong in the morning! -
Indeed, mummies kaitlynangelica and just888, you both are not the only ones. But at least you can choose to avoid your friends who have more than 1 kid. For me, I can't avoid my BIL and his wife who are expecting their 3rd kid becos still have to see them during family events like christmas and CNY. :sad:
My BIL is not exactly a nice person (he is very sarcastic and curt with his words), that's why I really dread to meet him and his BIG family...just888:
kaitlynangelica,
I also avoid my fren who are insensitive ones, u are not the only ones. -
Angelight:
Is it possible to tell your husband that you don't want to meet your BIL and ther family?Indeed, mummies kaitlynangelica and just888, you both are not the only ones. But at least you can choose to avoid your friends who have more than 1 kid. For me, I can't avoid my BIL and his wife who are expecting their 3rd kid becos still have to see them during family events like christmas and CNY. :sad:
My BIL is not exactly a nice person (he is very sarcastic and curt with his words), that's why I really dread to meet him and his BIG family...just888:
kaitlynangelica,
I also avoid my fren who are insensitive ones, u are not the only ones.
I have a friend who's baby died shortly after birth due to complications. She refuses to attend baby showers as well. -
Its really hard to avoid everyone. Take church for eg, I seem to be the only one that has one child. I think nearly everyone has 3 kids or more.
And then there are the neighbours downstairs…
And then there are colleagues all around me getting pregnant. Not that I am sour grapes but when ppl start congragulating them, I get very down. Its diffcult not to get affected.
The difficult part will be when the pregnant ones go on about buying baby things or their prenatal classes.
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