Club Only Child Club

[monmon31]

just888:

kaitlynangelica:

I hate it when people insensitively ask \"is she the only one\"?


A lot of people can't emphathise and I am refering to those people who have 2 or more. Its hard for them to understand because its not that we don't have a child. Even my best friend, will just tell me that I mustn't be jealous of others and that hurts.

Alot of people out there who are fertile always thought conceiving is as easy as ABCs..they never went through the stress and torture we had. Some still can tell me on the face their \"accident\" rate are high if they do not take care of precaution.

Just like govt, they blame us for not giving birth and stopping at 1 hence birth rate low. But I did try hard for all these years, yet no outcome .. should I be penalized?

Indirectly! We do not get tax rebates and/or enjoy baby bonus...

Dont you realise when places offer packages for family, it is always 2 adults and 2 kids????

[kaitlynangelica]

just888:

kaitlynangelica:

I hate it when people insensitively ask \"is she the only one\"?


A lot of people can't emphathise and I am refering to those people who have 2 or more. Its hard for them to understand because its not that we don't have a child. Even my best friend, will just tell me that I mustn't be jealous of others and that hurts.

Alot of people out there who are fertile always thought conceiving is as easy as ABCs..they never went through the stress and torture we had. Some still can tell me on the face their \"accident\" rate are high if they do not take care of precaution.

Just like govt, they blame us for not giving birth and stopping at 1 hence birth rate low. But I did try hard for all these years, yet no outcome .. should I be penalized?

Maybe people are tired of hearing us complain because there is no end to this and no closure unless a miracle happens.

I have to admit that ever since a couple of girlfriends of mine had no 2, I have stopped communicating with them us much cos it gets depressing for me. I kinda felt betrayed when that happened because they used to tell me that they wanted to stop at one only.

Sometimes to shut people up, I will just tell them that having one is okay. At least I am financially better and can give the best.

[kaitlynangelica]

I got pissed with my maid too over this issue.


I had my 2 miscarriages n 2008 and haven’t conceived since. She jolly well knows what happend to me.

I hate it when she tells me that so-and-so ( her relatives ) from back home are expecting. I remember when I had my 2nd miscarriage, her sister-in-law was pregnant and then she asked me for some baby things ( hand me downs from my dd ). Her SIL got pregnant again last year and she proudly came to tell me.

Another time she noticed that one of my church friends was expecting no 4 and she had to say :" Wow! So and So is expecting no 4!"

I can’t stop people from getting pregnant but I would appreciate if insensitive remarks were not made.

[just888]

kaitlynangelica,

I also avoid my fren who are insensitive ones, u are not the only ones. Having 1 kid he/she can have all our attentions. Let's continue to workhard who know miracle may happen. I am still trying.

monmon31,
Dun care about the family package lar... 2A2C also diffcult to stay in a room. 2A1C is so much easier. hahha.. Now our kid is older it is so much easier for us to travel with him/her.

[Supermomie]

Angelight:

It's ok...you forgot your coffee right?

Supermomie:

Sorry..i mean Angelight so sotong in the morning!

hahahah...yea!! :imcool:

[Angelight]

Indeed, mummies kaitlynangelica and just888, you both are not the only ones. But at least you can choose to avoid your friends who have more than 1 kid. For me, I can't avoid my BIL and his wife who are expecting their 3rd kid becos still have to see them during family events like christmas and CNY. :sad:


My BIL is not exactly a nice person (he is very sarcastic and curt with his words), that's why I really dread to meet him and his BIG family...

just888:

kaitlynangelica,
I also avoid my fren who are insensitive ones, u are not the only ones.

[kaitlynangelica]

Angelight:

Indeed, mummies kaitlynangelica and just888, you both are not the only ones. But at least you can choose to avoid your friends who have more than 1 kid. For me, I can't avoid my BIL and his wife who are expecting their 3rd kid becos still have to see them during family events like christmas and CNY. :sad:


My BIL is not exactly a nice person (he is very sarcastic and curt with his words), that's why I really dread to meet him and his BIG family...

just888:

kaitlynangelica,
I also avoid my fren who are insensitive ones, u are not the only ones.

Is it possible to tell your husband that you don't want to meet your BIL and ther family?

I have a friend who's baby died shortly after birth due to complications. She refuses to attend baby showers as well.

[kaitlynangelica]

Its really hard to avoid everyone. Take church for eg, I seem to be the only one that has one child. I think nearly everyone has 3 kids or more.


And then there are the neighbours downstairs…

And then there are colleagues all around me getting pregnant. Not that I am sour grapes but when ppl start congragulating them, I get very down. Its diffcult not to get affected.

The difficult part will be when the pregnant ones go on about buying baby things or their prenatal classes.

[Flowermonaster]

kaitlynangelica:

Its really hard to avoid everyone. Take church for eg, I seem to be the only one that has one child. I think nearly everyone has 3 kids or more.


And then there are the neighbours downstairs..............

And then there are colleagues all around me getting pregnant. Not that I am sour grapes but when ppl start congragulating them, I get very down. Its diffcult not to get affected.

The difficult part will be when the pregnant ones go on about buying baby things or their prenatal classes.

Hi kaitlynangelica, don't be too sad. I :snuggles: you.
Actually, on a brighter side, having one child can be envious by a lot of people. My eldest sister alway tell me that I am lucky to have only one kid. At least there is no fighting & quarreling between the siblings unlike hers. She said if given a choice now, she will want only one child. I kind of pity her when she was so stressed up by her kids. Her kids also unhappy that the furthest they go for vacation is Malaysia as they can't afford to go else where. With only one child, I can afford to give him the best that we can afford. My DS is happy & has never ask me for any sibling.
I used to want 2 kids but now I am contented to have only my DS. I am already 42, can't afford to try another Liao.

[Angelight]

I try to 'siam' on other family occasions, but Christmas and CNY how to 'siam'? Plus my MIL is so bias against me (see my other threads under 'In-law problems'), she will not let me off if I don't turn up for christmas and CNY events. Just the thought of this makes me depressed...

kaitlynangelica:

Is it possible to tell your husband that you don't want to meet your BIL and ther family?