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    Advice - Divorce or Not to Divorce

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Relationships
    368 Posts 141 Posters 233.8k Views 1 Watching
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    • C Offline
      Chenonceau
      last edited by

      sall:
      Baby39:

      I am trembling now as i write this. Itz a stalemate at home now with his family members by his side in the same house against me outside room to guard me fm going near my kid n refusing to tell me whatz the next step. What am i going to do now? I will not go anywhere without my kid.


      Do u mean they're confining you to the room and keeping your kid away from you? You should call someone for help. How old is your kid? If nobody can help, call the police. Take care and good luck.

      What is your address? I will call the police for you. Or someone else will because I have to log off soon.

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • B Offline
        Baby39
        last edited by

        Chenonceau, i cant thx u enuf 4 throwg the much needed helpline. I was so so desparate n loss. . It was a nitemare. I forced the talk to be just btw us, took a step back. All is calm now, we agree to seek marriage counselling. Praying it wld work but no matter what happens in the end, i wld be grateful to u just by the thot of offering help. It really means a lot. I realize one thg at the end of day after approachg aware, lawyer, itz all down to self help actually. First n foremost, sort out your thots ie whether ur marriage is worth salvaging WHEN u r calm. Helpline or lawyers or even court protection can only do that much.

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        • B Offline
          Baby39
          last edited by

          N sall to you too. Thxs much!

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • B Offline
            Baby39
            last edited by

            N sall to you too. Thxs much!

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • S Offline
              sall
              last edited by

              Baby39:
              N sall to you too. Thxs much!

              You're welcome. You sounded like you were in danger, I was worried for you. Hope there'll be some improvement in the future. All the best.

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              • B Offline
                Baby39
                last edited by

                I hope so for sake of kid. Never never take a kid away from the mother in argument, if they did it then, i will go crazy n i dunno what i wld hv done then. On hindsight, i wonder why i was still sane then … One verbally abusive hb shoutg at the top of his voice plus mil addg fuel only hearg his side of story plus them on phone callg 4 reinforcements n they refused to tell me what they want fill my heart w fear. Every table was turned. Ended up i was the stole money schemg bitch. The amazing thg is this era, there are still beliefs that as long as a guy does not womanise and gamble, the wife need to tolerate.

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                • S Offline
                  sall
                  last edited by

                  Hi Baby39, maybe you should discuss with your husband about closing the joint account. Take back the amt you have contributed. Then one less headache in future. There are many cases of husbands who emptied the joint acc and then dumped the wives. You have to protect yourself.

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                  • C Offline
                    Chenonceau
                    last edited by

                    sall:
                    Hi Baby39, maybe you should discuss with your husband about closing the joint account. Take back the amt you have contributed. Then one less headache in future. There are many cases of husbands who emptied the joint acc and then dumped the wives. You have to protect yourself.


                    Yes, yes ... I agree!! Get your finances in order. It may not be possible to close the joint account, but you should start a different account and build that up.

                    Something still bugs me about your situation Baby39. No one can make decisions for you but I am very sure that what you are undergoing is a prelude to spousal abuse. The preliminary to bad spousal abuse is always to isolate the victim FIRST with threats and physical imprisonment.

                    AWARE may not extend to you legal help but their helpline is also for counselling. You absolutely need access to listening ears in case you find yourself in real physical danger. I understand that you don't want to leave your child behind so you don't want to take off NOW. Nonetheless, aside from building a financial foundation, you need to also take other steps to ensure a contingency plan for taking your child and leaving the marriage.

                    Lay the foundation so that you can have the choice later... to leave or to stay.

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • laughingcatL Offline
                      laughingcat
                      last edited by

                      Baby39:
                      It was a nitemare. I forced the talk to be just btw us, took a step back. All is calm now, we agree to seek marriage counselling. Praying it wld work but no matter what happens in the end, i wld be grateful to u just by the thot of offering help. It really means a lot. I realize one thg at the end of day after approachg aware, lawyer, itz all down to self help actually. First n foremost, sort out your thots ie whether ur marriage is worth salvaging WHEN u r calm. Helpline or lawyers or even court protection can only do that much.


                      IMO, i think you should reconsider the path that you are undergoing. You have the responsibility for your child's happiness. Do you want your child to continue with this kind of enviornment with all the constant daily fanfare? What sort of mental stress you are going to give to your child?

                      What if another similar situation arise and worse than it is now. What are you going to do? Do you think you handle it with peace?

                      Don't mind me saying this.......i feel that this is not your home. If so any possibility of moving out and have your own home? The reason i am saying this is because your in-laws are interferring when they should not.

                      When i was a child, my nai nai used to stay with us. Almost everyday, there will be bickering between nai nai and my mum. I loved them both but the atmosphere was so tense that i grew very uptight. I got depressed and i became bulimic. Each time i either see someone quarrel or sense the environment become too tense, i will just eat and threw up. It got literally worse until my dad intervenve and get my nai nai to move out. It was pathetic as i loved my nai nai alot. I sure hope you can control the situation better and discuss the ultimatum seriously. There must be some point that you need to just move on. Good luck. Stay strong.

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                      • G Offline
                        galleria
                        last edited by

                        Does anyone have a good and cheap lawyer contact no? Please Pm me… thanks.

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