In-law problems?

[znzyzyzx]

It is our Chinese or Asian thinking that woman marries into a family that is giving rise to this kind of in laws problems , I feel. Because the husband side thinks that the son is theirs, and the wife marries into the family, so the son’s family/house is also theirs, so they have every right to comment , involve, Kay poh.

[janet88]

To all the pitiful women who are suffering, I really have to salute you for having the love and tolerance for your husbands to continue. If it’s not for them and the kids, I doubt there is any purpose to hold the peace.


Before marriage, shouldn’t it be trying to understand the men we are supposed to spend the rest of our lives with ? That itself is not easy. Why are there other ‘baggages’ which are not mentioned before the wedding ?? It’s hard to understand why we have to put up with the rest of his family.

Some in-laws feel that their son is always theirs, as well as the offspring…but the wives are not part of the family. It’s not the Tang or Qing dynasty right ? What kind of society are we living in ? Why aren’t women given the chance to be happy even after marriage, without the old ones coming into the picture and creating trouble ?

[auntieM]

..and for those terror MILs who 'teach' their own daughters to do just the opposite..while expecting their DILs to 'kow taw' to them.. .. :mad: :mad:

[janet88]

auntieM:

..and for those terror MILs who 'teach' their own daughters to do just the opposite..while expecting their DILs to 'kow taw' to them.. .. :mad: :mad:

Yeah...double standard. They terrorise other's daughters but teach their own daughters how to stand up for their rights :slapshead: What the hell man :mad:

[LOLMum]

that is strong family bond.


parents having strong family bond with unmarried kids - blessings.

parents having strong family bond with married kids - blessings/curse ??

[janet88]

LOLMum:

that is strong family bond.


parents having strong family bond with unmarried kids - blessings.

parents having strong family bond with married kids - blessings/curse ??

Hard to find one who doesn't behave like empress dowager as it is...forget about bonding. If she doesn't bug me or interfere, I am more than happy.

[ningning]

These MILS doesnt treat DIL as part of the family, but yet whenever it is to their advantage, they expect us to be part of them and "bow" to them. My MIL sometimes to my amusement, tried hard to "stress" that the nutriious food or herbal tea she prepared is for her son, "scare" that i eat it all up solely and her poor son left with nothing. Strangely, my friends MILs also behave the same too. The ALamak, will we "compete" with our hubby for food?? Ha ha…ridiculous.

[janet88]

ningning:

My MIL sometimes to my amusement, tried hard to \"stress\" that the nutriious food or herbal tea she prepared is for her son, \"scare\" that i eat it all up solely and her poor son left with nothing.

She boils those tonics for hubby to drink. Good gracious, my hubby is well-fed and 够补 liao. His cheeks are kinda rosy pink like Edmund Chen.
I have to give subtle hints that he is very healthy and over 够补 can lead to high blood. As compared to pre-marriage days, he is eating home-cooked meals most of the time.
I do buy Nutri-tea barley and sugarcane/water chestnut.

[ningning]

janet_lee88:

ningning:

My MIL sometimes to my amusement, tried hard to \"stress\" that the nutriious food or herbal tea she prepared is for her son, \"scare\" that i eat it all up solely and her poor son left with nothing.

She boils those tonics for hubby to drink. Good gracious, my hubby is well-fed and 够补 liao. His cheeks are kinda rosy pink like Edmund Chen.
I have to give subtle hints that he is very healthy and over 够补 can lead to high blood. As compared to pre-marriage days, he is eating home-cooked meals most of the time.
I do buy Nutri-tea barley and sugarcane/water chestnut.

Hi!Janet_lee88,

Its good that you cook meals for your hubby. I only can do very simple meal.........

MIL only prepared tonics for her son, even when i was pregnant then, she nvr once boil any tonic for me or for my baby in my belly then to\"pu\". She also quick enough to express that she is very busy and cant help look after my baby. She tinks i will do so.....oh...i have nvr once cross my mind that i will have \"empress\" to do babysit , coz i will end up \"vomit blood\" . I have seen friends, that suffer \"internal injury\" coz they need their MIL to take care of their little ones and have to bear with their MILS.........

[cnimed]

LOLMum:

that is strong family bond.


parents having strong family bond with unmarried kids - blessings.

parents having strong family bond with married kids - blessings/curse ??

We have strong bonds on both sides but things work out well. I am peacemaker between hubby and his parents. DH is peacemaker between my mum and I. In fact I think it is the grandparents that help us tide through marital crises.