In-law problems?
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..and for those terror MILs who 'teach' their own daughters to do just the opposite..while expecting their DILs to 'kow taw' to them.. .. :mad: :mad:
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auntieM:
..and for those terror MILs who 'teach' their own daughters to do just the opposite..while expecting their DILs to 'kow taw' to them.. .. :mad: :mad:
Yeah...double standard. They terrorise other's daughters but teach their own daughters how to stand up for their rights :slapshead: What the hell man :mad: -
that is strong family bond.
parents having strong family bond with unmarried kids - blessings.
parents having strong family bond with married kids - blessings/curse ?? -
LOLMum:
Hard to find one who doesn't behave like empress dowager as it is...forget about bonding. If she doesn't bug me or interfere, I am more than happy.that is strong family bond.
parents having strong family bond with unmarried kids - blessings.
parents having strong family bond with married kids - blessings/curse ?? -
These MILS doesnt treat DIL as part of the family, but yet whenever it is to their advantage, they expect us to be part of them and "bow" to them. My MIL sometimes to my amusement, tried hard to "stress" that the nutriious food or herbal tea she prepared is for her son, "scare" that i eat it all up solely and her poor son left with nothing. Strangely, my friends MILs also behave the same too. The ALamak, will we "compete" with our hubby for food?? Ha ha…ridiculous.
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ningning:
My MIL sometimes to my amusement, tried hard to \"stress\" that the nutriious food or herbal tea she prepared is for her son, \"scare\" that i eat it all up solely and her poor son left with nothing.
She boils those tonics for hubby to drink. Good gracious, my hubby is well-fed and 够补 liao. His cheeks are kinda rosy pink like Edmund Chen.
I have to give subtle hints that he is very healthy and over 够补 can lead to high blood. As compared to pre-marriage days, he is eating home-cooked meals most of the time.
I do buy Nutri-tea barley and sugarcane/water chestnut. -
janet_lee88:
Hi!Janet_lee88,ningning:
My MIL sometimes to my amusement, tried hard to \"stress\" that the nutriious food or herbal tea she prepared is for her son, \"scare\" that i eat it all up solely and her poor son left with nothing.
She boils those tonics for hubby to drink. Good gracious, my hubby is well-fed and 够补 liao. His cheeks are kinda rosy pink like Edmund Chen.
I have to give subtle hints that he is very healthy and over 够补 can lead to high blood. As compared to pre-marriage days, he is eating home-cooked meals most of the time.
I do buy Nutri-tea barley and sugarcane/water chestnut.
Its good that you cook meals for your hubby. I only can do very simple meal.........
MIL only prepared tonics for her son, even when i was pregnant then, she nvr once boil any tonic for me or for my baby in my belly then to\"pu\". She also quick enough to express that she is very busy and cant help look after my baby. She tinks i will do so.....oh...i have nvr once cross my mind that i will have \"empress\" to do babysit , coz i will end up \"vomit blood\" . I have seen friends, that suffer \"internal injury\" coz they need their MIL to take care of their little ones and have to bear with their MILS......... -
LOLMum:
We have strong bonds on both sides but things work out well. I am peacemaker between hubby and his parents. DH is peacemaker between my mum and I. In fact I think it is the grandparents that help us tide through marital crises.that is strong family bond.
parents having strong family bond with unmarried kids - blessings.
parents having strong family bond with married kids - blessings/curse ?? -
deminc:
deminc :imcool: :imcool:
We have strong bonds on both sides but things work out well. I am peacemaker between hubby and his parents. DH is peacemaker between my mum and I. In fact I think it is the grandparents that help us tide through marital crises.
To be frank, I have not read all the post in these 379 pages, but I think you are one of the few who do not find any big issues with your MIL. Good for you :salute:
I was beginning to wonder if there was something wrong with my own views, why almost everyone seem to have some issues with the in-laws, esp. the MIL. Don't we all know that we ourselves will become THE in-laws in future ? Our kids are looking at us all the time, and if we cannot be tolerant or gracious to the elders ( the parents of our spouse, for goodness sake ) who brought their child up so well that we chose to marry him/her, it is likely the kids will think this is the norm if we are in turn disliked by their spouses in future.
My apologies if my comments touched a nerve or two, but I stand by my perception. Come on, we are all family, aren't we ?
big issues treat as small issues ; small issues treat as no issues. -
strong family bond
we talk about starting school at a later hour so that the family could bond over breakfast, parents driving kids to school are bonding,etc. also on tv, messages about family bond (sunday is for family - kfc advt)
we parents love and teach our kids our value and beliefs. we spend more than a quarter of our lives with our kids as one united family. then the kids got married. in come an outsider (who might not even click with the family).
parents and siblings have to accept they are no longer at the top of the married kid/sibling's list (the outsider is no 1 now).
the outsider (pardon me for the use of this word and i am also the outisder) should also acknowledge that it is impossible for the married son/daughter to drop his/her family off the radar. it might take months/years or it might not happen. the love and bond (of more than a quarter of their life) is there, how to break.
there are nasty inlaws on both sides. marriage is never easy. it is never about 2 persons and neither is it about 1 person.
i want to continue to have a strong bond with my married kids and i would be sad if this closeness with my kids is resented by their partners.
why cant our married kids talk to us maybe about which school the grandchildren should go, where to buy a flat......it is not like we are going to insist on our way, it is more like gathering info, having more options etc. and if what we said, make sense why is it that in the son/daughter in law's eyes, we are interfering, forcing our ways on them? this is what we usually do over dinners when kids were young as one family, part of our family lifestyle to have discussions and debates etc which i am sure is happening in many families now.
i am not in favour of looking after my grandchildren cos i dont wish to clash with my kids in laws over the methods etc thus souring the relationship. neither do i want to tell them what to do with their marriage. so it is kinda hands off.
very difficult situation. look after grandchildren and my ways might not be accepted(maybe consdiered old fashion ways in the future). dont look after, well, the married couple might also complain (why cant help???). :faint:
my head spinning now, not so good with words..........
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