2011 PSLE Discussions and Strategy

[Alchemist]

Evalim:

Ms tay:

Dear evalim

Until today did I realize that I m not alone ! Omg !! :scared: ur story
Is exactly the same as mine ( the hard time with ur child )
The difference is I'm a homemaker.I quit my job when my DS2 was diagnosed with ASD when he was 3yrs old. As a working mother, being an
able to do so much for ur child is really not easy .. I want to :salute: to u again , u r an amazing mother !! :rahrah:

Dear Ms Tay,

Yes! You are not alone...as the matter of fact... alot of mothers are having the same experience as us.... I have 2 friends... both homemakers, one coaches her daughter last year for her PSLE till she collasped... cos her ds gave her alot of problems.... slow learner and a very good in arguing(\"my teacher's teaching is different\")....
his mum(my friend)cannot take it always cried broke down.... but his result is fair... last year he score a 211(at least in express)... and thank god... he did pretty well in this year too.....
My another friend a working mum quits her job as her dd was diagnosed with ADHD in P3... she also coached... her dd is exactly the same as my ds...slow learner, attention failure and forgetful....
We both faced big challenge when we coach them... these kids actually have strong pride too..... they hate to be look down and they are very worry that ppl knows are sick(gradually as they grew older) they wanted to be normal(as they look normal) to be exactly like their friends... hence my friend and I have to be very careful with our speech... tried to encourage them..... just don't kill their interest in study....I would say... I see my ds2 change differently this year, I need to change my style too to interact with him...
To me, nothing is more important than my children, to me \"What is the profit to gain the whole world but you lost your own son\"...
Children grows up fast, if we don't see them grow we will regret somehow ... so Ms Tay, you are not alone!!! we are good company!!! :hugs: always stay in this blog to share... but real sorry everytime got to write long grandma experience of myself....I really want to share with all of you!

Hi Evalim and Ms Tay,

It is true we are not alone. My son had speech and language delay when he was young- he was diagnosed as being ASD/Aspergers (although his speech therapist does not like labeling, so she never uses the diagnosis. She said see what is lacking and fix it. No need to call it anything. But for parents it helps to have a name) Very intensive intervention since 2 yrs 9 months old helped him get into a mainstream school. But even at P1 we had pathlight as an alternative should he not fit in.

I totally understand what you mean by focus - I know all parents of young children say focus is an issue and I agree with them. But it takes working with a special needs child to appreciate how frustrating this lack of focus can be. Like you I have to explain things to my son over and over again - not because he is not smart - but because of the lack of focus. Most children with ADD/ASD have deficits in organisational skills - so their brain cannot organise and process information for easy retention and retrieval. You cannot tell them - aiyah - you have done this type of sums so many times - just recognise the type of sum. Its not so easily done.

Like you I have had my fair share of tutors to deal with. Every time there is a new tutor I tremble - because I must let the tutor know his challenges - I have to explain there will be meltdowns. Sometimes when the tutor insists on doing something saying this is how you get marks - but he does not fully understand there will be arguments, crying. My son is otherwise very well behaved - so its not like he is a brat with tantrums. Its just he is unable to process it in that way at that time and it puts a barrier. I have broken down in tears before so many teachers and tutors - they probably think I am so weak. But like I always said - it felt like walking up an escalator riding down - you walk and walk and walk but stay in the same place.

In P1/P2 - if the papers had different fonts/ spelling mistakes /grammar mistakes (even maths paper0 - it would totally blow his focus. In fact he has asked the invigilator in P2 to tell all the students that there is a grammar mistake in one of the problem sums. While all the other students were busy doing the sums - not surprisingly - he did not finish any of the problem sums after that one - because he could just not accept it.

But like you Evalim, I am also thankful for God for the innumerable blessings he has given us. This year like your son - the last 3 weeks before PSLE - I could see him trying very hard to focus. I think it was because I lost my sanity one day after teaching him the same type of speed sums (the latest tutor just quit on us in June) asking him to draw a time line/ begging him literally - when he still does not do. I started screaming like a mad woman literally - my daughter who is 8 began sobbing. Then, I think for my sake, my son tried so hard. I could see he was looking so tired those 3 weeks. For me, no matter what his results - he is a winner - because he managed to overcome a deficit that nature created in him - by his will power.

I am also thankful to God for all the progress he has made - this year he actually has friends among his classmates. This is such a normal thing that most parents would take for granted - but for me I prayed hard my son would have one friend at least on 1st day of P1. He did. A very good boy too - who always defended my son against people who made fun of him. This year my son walks out of school talking to his classmates - it is indescribable how happy that sight makes me.

I also want to make sure that my son ultimately knows I love him no matter what - but it is a tightrope to balance it with equipping him with the skills to survive in life. I think I remember so many of the shouting/screaming/scolding sessions whenever I feel frustrated. And then I feel so guilty about them. But in the last month and half I have seen him mature so much - now I feel I can hope that he will cope with the challenges of life. He may take longer - may take a different route but that does not matter.

My prayers now are that he tried so hard - pls let him have reasonable results. I would pray the same for your son Evalim. Ms Tay - when the road gets tough the next 2 yrs for your DS2 please remember - others have walked that route. And it definitely gets better. So keep your hope alive!

[vlim]

..., whenever u guys posts I think of my p3 dd... She is ok but careless and need to be more focus .... But she is still my lovely baby girl :love:

[Alchemist]

Oh dear!! I don't like to read ur post ! They always make me as they really touched my heart .. So sry , I'm too emotion :imsorry:

Anyway thks for ur moral support ! :hugs: Let us 一起加油,加油 :rahrah: :rahrah:[/quote]
Oh! Ms tay, guess I better stop posting sad stories to get you my motive is to let everyone know actually there are alot of ppl having the same problem.... no hard feelings.... :roll: yes everyone!加油!加油! :rahrah: :rahrah:[/quote]


Oops - maybe I should have read this before adding my long story too. But like evalim - I really wanted to say that every cloud has a silver lining. Every child whether sp needs or not has challenges and we should really celebrate their small victories - regardless of whether if society considers a big victory or not.

[Ms tay]

vidhyalog:

Evalim:

[quote=\"Ms tay\"]Dear evalim

Until today did I realize that I m not alone ! Omg !! :scared: ur story
Is exactly the same as mine ( the hard time with ur child )
The difference is I'm a homemaker.I quit my job when my DS2 was diagnosed with ASD when he was 3yrs old. As a working mother, being an
able to do so much for ur child is really not easy .. I want to :salute: to u again , u r an amazing mother !! :rahrah:

Dear Ms Tay,

Yes! You are not alone...as the matter of fact... alot of mothers are having the same experience as us.... I have 2 friends... both homemakers, one coaches her daughter last year for her PSLE till she collasped... cos her ds gave her alot of problems.... slow learner and a very good in arguing(\"my teacher's teaching is different\")....
his mum(my friend)cannot take it always cried broke down.... but his result is fair... last year he score a 211(at least in express)... and thank god... he did pretty well in this year too.....
My another friend a working mum quits her job as her dd was diagnosed with ADHD in P3... she also coached... her dd is exactly the same as my ds...slow learner, attention failure and forgetful....
We both faced big challenge when we coach them... these kids actually have strong pride too..... they hate to be look down and they are very worry that ppl knows are sick(gradually as they grew older) they wanted to be normal(as they look normal) to be exactly like their friends... hence my friend and I have to be very careful with our speech... tried to encourage them..... just don't kill their interest in study....I would say... I see my ds2 change differently this year, I need to change my style too to interact with him...
To me, nothing is more important than my children, to me \"What is the profit to gain the whole world but you lost your own son\"...
Children grows up fast, if we don't see them grow we will regret somehow ... so Ms Tay, you are not alone!!! we are good company!!! :hugs: always stay in this blog to share... but real sorry everytime got to write long grandma experience of myself....I really want to share with all of you!

Hi Evalim and Ms Tay,

It is true we are not alone. My son had speech and language delay when he was young- he was diagnosed as being ASD/Aspergers (although his speech therapist does not like labeling, so she never uses the diagnosis. She said see what is lacking and fix it. No need to call it anything. But for parents it helps to have a name) Very intensive intervention since 2 yrs 9 months old helped him get into a mainstream school. But even at P1 we had pathlight as an alternative should he not fit in.

I totally understand what you mean by focus - I know all parents of young children say focus is an issue and I agree with them. But it takes working with a special needs child to appreciate how frustrating this lack of focus can be. Like you I have to explain things to my son over and over again - not because he is not smart - but because of the lack of focus. Most children with ADD/ASD have deficits in organisational skills - so their brain cannot organise and process information for easy retention and retrieval. You cannot tell them - aiyah - you have done this type of sums so many times - just recognise the type of sum. Its not so easily done.

Like you I have had my fair share of tutors to deal with. Every time there is a new tutor I tremble - because I must let the tutor know his challenges - I have to explain there will be meltdowns. Sometimes when the tutor insists on doing something saying this is how you get marks - but he does not fully understand there will be arguments, crying. My son is otherwise very well behaved - so its not like he is a brat with tantrums. Its just he is unable to process it in that way at that time and it puts a barrier. I have broken down in tears before so many teachers and tutors - they probably think I am so weak. But like I always said - it felt like walking up an escalator riding down - you walk and walk and walk but stay in the same place.

In P1/P2 - if the papers had different fonts/ spelling mistakes /grammar mistakes (even maths paper0 - it would totally blow his focus. In fact he has asked the invigilator in P2 to tell all the students that there is a grammar mistake in one of the problem sums. While all the other students were busy doing the sums - not surprisingly - he did not finish any of the problem sums after that one - because he could just not accept it.

But like you Evalim, I am also thankful for God for the innumerable blessings he has given us. This year like your son - the last 3 weeks before PSLE - I could see him trying very hard to focus. I think it was because I lost my sanity one day after teaching him the same type of speed sums (the latest tutor just quit on us in June) asking him to draw a time line/ begging him literally - when he still does not do. I started screaming like a mad woman literally - my daughter who is 8 began sobbing. Then, I think for my sake, my son tried so hard. I could see he was looking so tired those 3 weeks. For me, no matter what his results - he is a winner - because he managed to overcome a deficit that nature created in him - by his will power.

I am also thankful to God for all the progress he has made - this year he actually has friends among his classmates. This is such a normal thing that most parents would take for granted - but for me I prayed hard my son would have one friend at least on 1st day of P1. He did. A very good boy too - who always defended my son against people who made fun of him. This year my son walks out of school talking to his classmates - it is indescribable how happy that sight makes me.

I also want to make sure that my son ultimately knows I love him no matter what - but it is a tightrope to balance it with equipping him with the skills to survive in life. I think I remember so many of the shouting/screaming/scolding sessions whenever I feel frustrated. And then I feel so guilty about them. But in the last month and half I have seen him mature so much - now I feel I can hope that he will cope with the challenges of life. He may take longer - may take a different route but that does not matter.

My prayers now are that he tried so hard - pls let him have reasonable results. I would pray the same for your son Evalim. Ms Tay - when the road gets tough the next 2 yrs for your DS2 please remember - others have walked that route. And it definitely gets better. So keep your hope alive![/quote] :thankyou: :thankyou: vihyalog :grphug:

Keep our hope alive !!! :udawoman:

[Evalim]

Dear vidhyalog,


A pat on your shoulders! yes… indeed the same experience as mine… I believe our kids will do better in secondary… our effort will be paid off…there is always a special space for us in their heart…that I know and for sure, regardless how good or how bad they did… we know they did their best and as parents we did our best too… now we pray hard for their result that will be release on the 24 Nov… everyone 加油!加油!!!

[Ms tay]

vidhyalog:

Oh dear!! I don't like to read ur post ! They always make me as they really touched my heart .. So sry , I'm too emotion :imsorry:

Anyway thks for ur moral support ! :hugs: Let us 一起加油,加油 :rahrah: :rahrah:

Oh! Ms tay, guess I better stop posting sad stories to get you my motive is to let everyone know actually there are alot of ppl having the same problem.... no hard feelings.... :roll: yes everyone!加油!加油! :rahrah: :rahrah:[/quote]


Oops - maybe I should have read this before adding my long story too. But like evalim - I really wanted to say that every cloud has a silver lining. Every child whether sp needs or not has challenges and we should really celebrate their small victories - regardless of whether if society considers a big victory or not. [/quote]

Actually I was just kidding , I enjoy reading ur post sooooo much .
Do u guys know that the good film touch audiance heart !!!
:goodpost: Vihyalog and Evalim

[Ms tay]

just888:

Ms tay:

Dear evalim

Until today did I realize that I m not alone ! Omg !! :scared: ur story
Is exactly the same as mine ( the hard time with ur child )
The difference is I'm a homemaker.I quit my job when my DS2 was diagnosed with ASD when he was 3yrs old. As a working mother, being an
able to do so much for ur child is really not easy .. I want to :salute: to u again , u r an amazing mother !! :rahrah:

Ms Tay & evalim
Well done, give yourself a pat for doing so much for your kids. I really admire both of your patience towards your kids. Both the kids are so fortunate to have a mother like you do.

One of my fren, her DD1 is in this situation also. I keep asking her maybe to checkout with the doc or spend more time with him coaching him. But she refused and told me that her DD1 got to help himself to buck up to learn afterall she already engage tutors for her kid. In fact, her DD1 would actually listen to her more than the tutor, but she rather choose to work earn extra $$ for safe keeping and also not to be 24hrs at home facing her MIL and 3 kids.

Thks for ur warmth comment

[Ms tay]

scm292:

DW and myself used to send DD to a private learning centre for kids with special needs (before pri sch) and we found that there were many kids (around her age) with special needs - autitics, hyperactive etc. We tried to find out what's \"wrong\" with DD when we noticed her being \"different\" from other kids but \"experts\" said that she is not autistic, not hyperactive etc etc. In the end, the only conclusion was she had issues with visual perception and fine motor skills. Her \"condition\" resulted in her being very weak in Maths (and anything related to numbers and drawings) but luckily, her language so far have been good enough to get her promoted to the next level over the years - in pri and sec sch.


With early intervention, I am sure parents with special needs kids can cope better. Please also try not to compare them with their siblings as it will stress them more. Over the years, I have learned to accept DD's \"condition\" and stopped comparing her with DS especially Maths results.

Yes , strongly agree with u :hi5:
The early intervention program is very important for special kids...
Happy for ur dd had overcome her difficultly ! So envious ! :celebrate:
All the best to ur kids

[ppnqq]

MummySTay:

Ms tay:

hi all

I heard that the sch will inform the top scorer on the result release day morning ,
Before the principle announce the result, is that true ?

Actually, the results cannot be released before 12noon. However, some schools do reveal on the sly...like giving the top scorers phone calls and telling them to be in school early.
Ms Tay, when you get the phone call, remember to post it here straightaway and let us rejoice with you.

Champagne plus ALL the aunties here in bikini! (except me :rotflmao:) :rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah:

[ppnqq]

jtoh:

verykiasu2010:

[quote=\"Evalim\"]Guess we have to gather together here and wait together till the results are out... will everyone still be here till Sec 1 as I don't think there is blog for Secondary parents....

they will migrate to the respective sec school discussion thread where their boys and girls have been posted to

But those are generally very quiet.[/quote]With all the current mummies and daddies in this thread, do you think the secondary school thread will be as quiet as this year? What is call migration? The whole lot of us will sure revive the secondary thread, burning it alive man! :rotflmao: