In-law problems?

[LOLMum]

just888:

Does anyone in-laws communicate with hubby in a dialect or language that you do not understand when u are around? Sounded as if they are comment about u yet do not want u to know like that.

my mil and sil do communicate in dialect which i dont understand and sometimes with dh too. however dh only understand it but cant speak it.

i am fine with it cos what i dont understand dont bother me. also my mum only knew hakka and a bit of mandarin and cantonese so we in the family also only spoke to her in hakka in front of dh.

[auntieM]

Haha... ...I am Hakka too LOLMum.. ..

MIL will rattle of in her dialect when the issue not meant for my ears..
Makan sessions when and when, more gambling debts to be cleared, DH to attend never ending gatherings... :faint:
DH quite bochap nowadays..

[LOLMum]

LOLMum:

my mil and sil do communicate in dialect which i dont understand and sometimes with dh too. however dh only understand it but cant speak it.

i am fine with it cos what i dont understand dont bother me. also my mum only knew hakka and a bit of mandarin and cantonese so we in the family also only spoke to her in hakka in front of dh.

oop,s forgot to say that just like my mum, my mil only speak to her kids in her dialect. when kids got married, no choice but to speak cantonese cos' sils and dils dont understand the dialect. so no deliberate effort to sideline any1 of us.

[LOLMum]

auntieM:

Haha... ...I am Hakka too LOLMum.. ..

:snuggles: it is a dying dialect.

[ningning]

just888:

I stayed with my in-laws after marriage for 2 years before we got our own place. Despite having our own place, we didn't shift our things out and still go back and stay with them on and off throughout the years so as not to give up our bedroom to my SIL. Sometimes whole weekdays if not weekends to prevent my in-laws being bullied by my SIL's family. I do not have in-laws problem as they still treat me rather nice. My problem is only with my selfish SIL.


My SIL had been eyeing my hubby's bedroom since we got our own place. She want to come back and stay with my in-laws too but then keep complaining her current room too small for her family (2A3C). Both she and her hubby loves to tax on my in-laws to help them. Even now not staying together, she wants my MIL in the evening to go over her place and help her with her 3 kids when they are all back at home then ask my FIL/hubby would go and fetch MIL after 10pm home when their kids are asleep. I ever ask my MIL, how come SIL does not let her sleep over instead? They did not even provide a mattress in their mansionette for my MIL! *faint*.

oh you and your hubby were kind enough then, to fetch your MIL home from your SIL place after 10pm. For me, i will tell my DH to be busy and let them bring your MIL back home instead since she so selfish.

[ningning]

It seems that very often marriage does come with a package. What of kind of package we get, its our karma.


I always tell my friends, i have " two" MILS one senior and one junior. The junior one is my single and availble SIL. Whatever things, my PILS say and do is all her callings. Even my DH who is eldest son have got to give in to her. If not my MIL will cry and yell that her DD is being bullied though the truth is that she at wrong first or over very very minor issues. OMG. she next year forty year old liao, still so naive. Think she will grow old and die like this. What to do , she is their "pearl". When i newly wed then , i was stupid enough to tell her where i shop and show her how to make up when she asked me so. But a few occasions when i casually asked her where she buy her pieces from, she refused to tell me. Then i realised that she wanted me to share with her shopping info but not the otherway. She also kept all her branded handbag and fancy shoes from my sight when we visited my PILs. Coz, she didnt want me to know that she followed very closely what bag i carry and shoes. So naive. Hate me yet "copy" me.

Lucky, my youngest SIL who is married is busy with her two kids thus got no time to bother all these family politics. I seldom talk to her, coz she is the "bochap" type. I like that. Thank god, at least still got one good "karma".

[LOLMum]

For umarried children, parents would tend to sayang and worry about them more. My parents were good examples and I wa kinda like jealous :evil: as well. 撒娇 with my parents about it and reply was I have dh to look after me but not my two sisters so my parents want to shower more love on them especially on my handicapped sister.


My dad told me a few times to look after my sister even though I am considered married off, out of family. Though knowing all my brothers would do their part, he knew it would be easier for us girls being sisters to talk things out and share secrets.

My parents left most to the two gals after death which is fine with the rest.

ningning:

It seems that very often marriage does come with a package. What of kind of package we get, its our karma.

I always tell my friends, i have \" two\" MILS one senior and one junior. Th
e junior one is my single and availble SIL. Whatever things, my PILS say and do is all her callings. Even my DH who is eldest son have got to give in to her. If not my MIL will cry and yell that her DD is being bullied though the truth is that she at wrong first or over very very minor issues.

[just888]

I got a BIL who is unattached still at the age of 36! He is still a "baby" to my MIL. In fact my MIL called him that!


Ever shared with hubby that when in-laws leave this world, I do not want to stay with my BIL under 1 roof. Seems weird to have another guy at home with me esp when hubby is not around. So better to stay separately. Having said that, my MIL keep brainwashing my hubby that his bro is VERY CLOSE to him. But somehow I do not see that they are that close lei. BIL basically keep in his own world one.

[janet88]

just888:

Ever shared with hubby that when in-laws leave this world, I do not want to stay with my BIL under 1 roof. Seems weird to have another guy at home with me esp when hubby is not around. So better to stay separately. Having said that, my MIL keep brainwashing my hubby that his bro is VERY CLOSE to him. But somehow I do not see that they are that close lei. BIL basically keep in his own world one.

You know why there is brain washing on her part ? She is afraid your hubby won't take him in when they kick the bucket.

My idiotic BIL is spoilt too, bcos he gives the mother the most pocket money and so he calls the shots, equivalent to spoiling.

[ningning]

I find that is ok, If parents left most to their unmarried children. It will be good if we can take care of the unmarried sibling when parents are not around anymore. But one cannot behave in such that everyone in this world have to give in to them just bcoz they are not married. Its a personal choice to remain single , we are not the one that cause them to be single.

My DH also cant stand his sister already coz he feels that she has became very difficult to get along and hot temper since after he and his sister got married. Ever once we were a little shock, when she shoved me away and look hard at me while i was talking to DH and stood between us out of sudden coz she wanted to talk business with him. Think she want attention but I find it hard to believe coz my DH wasnt close with her at all even before marriage. Once at their youngest sister wedding dinner, my MIL said I got a nice watch and suggest that she shld get one similar to mine. SIL walked away immediately and minutes later caught her staring at me angrily. Think shes lack self confidence .