Cold Wars (with your spouse)

[happy to be mum]

in my entire 15 relationship with DH, we had never have cold wars cause both DH and myself are the type, if not happy have to trash it out! I was lucky also cause DH always will give in to me


hope you can trash it out with DH also cause it is not healthy and also I can imagine how torturous a cold war can be. Hope your DH will listen to you, pour out how you feel..

[HyperKiasu]

happy to be mum:

in my entire 15 relationship with DH, we had never have cold wars cause both DH and myself are the type, if not happy have to trash itI was lucky also cause DH always will give in to me out!


hope you can trash it out with DH also cause it is not healthy and also I can imagine how torturous a cold war can be. Hope your DH will listen to you, pour out how you feel..

yes, you are lucky to have such a hubby.

there is a Chinese saying:
听老婆的, 大富大贵!

[peapot]

That’s true. I think you are lucky too. Never had cold wars, wow!

[happy to be mum]

i think i was lucky because both of us cannot stand cold wars. Even if want to have cold wars, also cannot cause either one of us will drag the one (who dun want to talk) out from the bed to settle whatever unhappiness. Thrash it out is our marriage motto

[HAPPYH]

worriedmumz:

I rather fight it out than have cold war.

Yes, I agree with you. Talk talk talk quarrel for a while. Then everything is over.

[vivienpg]

I used to think talk talk talk quarrel for a while, then everything is over. But DH either comes up with the 4 letter word (which makes me even more mad, cos I strictly forbid that in case DS and DD learns from her) or totally ignore me. Now my heart starting to feel cool, keep thinking when DD grows up and finish my studies before i divorce him.

[MM8396]

Ever wonder why one cannot bear with our spouse just as before we married? Some factors to consider

1. There is a change in the family members - wife attend more to kids than their hubbies
2. After marriage, does the inlaw interfere with the couples’ decision making in various matters ? ie. place to stay, kids’ school, change in financial contribution./…
3. Spouse become more particular cooncern on the other party time allocation? ie need to spend more time at home than with friends…
4. Lesser time spend alone together to discuss mutual thoughts for the kids, own time for intimacy between themselves
5. Fully exhausted after work especially both parties are working parents, not much time to continue the routine of romancing just as before marriage as commitment in high pace kicks in

[happy to be mum]

i guess both parties need to make an effort to commit to each other as a couple, commit to the family as a parent.


to me cold wars are even more difficult when you have kids, you do not want to see your kids worried or sad to see mummy and daddy not talking to each other or asking their kids to be the \"telephone\" to relate messages. dun think our kids dunno when we quarrel or argue, they knows definitely...even though they dunno how to ask and what to ask.

I am lucky my DH will \"drag me out\" when at certain moments i really dun want to talk (cause DH is a good talker) & we will resolve our issues by the time we sleep

[3lilangels]

sYEO:

I agree with Baby39. My hubby is the type who doesn't see his wrongs even when his IS wrong. He never apologise, if he did wrong things, he will blame everyone for 'driving' him to do that. Yes, talk more, wrong more. Best is to keep quiet. How else to do?

Wow! sounds so familiar.

So now it's cold war time. He's the one sulking, giving the \"justice bao\" face. Well, I just get on with my life, with my kids even though i know it's not healthy .. I did try to apologise but he said, if you carry drugs and say sorry to the police, will it be ok? :slapshead: So I stopped saying sorry....

He's carrying all the grudges from as long as he could remember and refusing to put it down. I have told him many times to make peace with the past so it won't spoil the present, but he just couldn't let go at all.

We are supposed to go away with my youngest kid this weekend to Kukup but looking at his sulky face, I also darn sian! :sad:

:xedfingers: :xedfingers:

[happy to be mum]

aiyo…then someone needs to "educate" your spouse! can’t he be more gentleman?