In-law problems?

[clioclio]

fifiyeo, Yikes! If my MIL did that to me I will errupt!!!

Yes, the ‘insinuations’ can be so ‘innocent’…sometimes I myself wonder if i’m too sensitive/biased. Like when i go over to ILs plce for dinner and I cringe when my MIL makes snide remarks, my hubby will not even notice until i gripe about it on the car ride home…
My situation was not as jialat as yours…my boy was ard 6-7months and he’s always drooling so sometimes his neck has rashes. Once at MIL’s plce, she carried him and noticed some rash on his neck (we have tried to be diligent in cleaning,wiping his neck already) —she exclaimed, "Baby so poor thing, They never clean you properly, you are so uncomfortable, sayang sayang,e tc". In my mind the "THEY never clean you properly" was like…

[fifiyeo]

clioclio:

fifiyeo, Yikes! If my MIL did that to me I will errupt!!!

Yes, the 'insinuations' can be so 'innocent'...sometimes I myself wonder if i'm too sensitive/biased. Like when i go over to ILs plce for dinner and I cringe when my MIL makes snide remarks, my hubby will not even notice until i gripe about it on the car ride home..
My situation was not as jialat as yours...my boy was ard 6-7months and he's always drooling so sometimes his neck has rashes. Once at MIL's plce, she carried him and noticed some rash on his neck (we have tried to be diligent in cleaning,wiping his neck already) ---she exclaimed, \"Baby so poor thing, They never clean you properly, you are so uncomfortable, sayang sayang,e tc\". In my mind the \"THEY never clean you properly\" was like....

ClioClio....yap, sure know how you feel. Men usually don't notice such small remarks made by ILs, but the remarks I get are really quite obvious that even DH notices it more than me since I just try to treat them like singing some irritating song and get on with life.

Last time we used to go back to eat during the weekends. MIL will always be so upset in the kitchen slamming things around and shouting at her maids. So you know, the maids see us also sian. They must be thinking, OMG those 2 and their kids again...going to kena bad day from MIL. She's not like that with her other children.

MIL will tell FIL how she so nice lah, cooking all our favourite food and then when I go to the kitchen to help out, I see her face so black. If FIL suddenly walks in, wah she just change into another person. Once DH was in the kitchen when she threw the wok from the stove into the sink 1m away, wok landed with a loud crash and that was it. We never went back for meals again unless it was a big family occassion.

Now I don't talk much to my ILs. Just some simple polite exchange of greetings and everything else as little as possible without creating any major conflicts.

[funkymonkey]

buds:

Funkymonkey... :snuggles:

:thankyou: buds

[buds]

Can empathize what you had to go thru as my Mumsie was in similar shoes.

[janet88]

Maybe the men are so used to their mothers’ comments or the other reason is they never register what their mothers say…which is why they don’t know what is going on. I will get so pissed when she says something indirectly.


My hubby can simply bochap what his mother tells him. It’s like nothing went into his ears at all. Then again, she acts angelic in front of her sons. I couldn’t be bothered with her especially next year.

Oh yes, the daughter is coming back to visit this month with her ang Moh husband and half ang Moh sons, I shall ask for peace from them since that daughter is one who is absolute lacking in manners. She thinks she is some empress dowager wanting all to go back and see her. She can dream on.

[kaka]

I am lucky to have little in-law problems as 1) we see each other abt 2 hours a week at their place for dinner 2) my PILs have other 2 DILs so I am not really that "special" 3) after >10years, they are fully aware of my character, and I am always respectful as long as they leave me alone ie not telling me what to do/not to do 4) i am grateful to them for helping me look after my kids when i used to work 5) they are probably grateful that we bring them out whenever we can … we just went cycling together at Pulau Ubin on sun


My dh is thus lucky too … anyway, if there is any IL problem, I wont count on him to solve anything …

[pacetone]

I’m also one lucky one who has very little or zero in-law problem simply because MIL bochap me and I also rarely bother her. I just respect her by greeting her whenever I meet her. Time to go home, I just said good-bye. We hardly talk and I only visit her once a week or once a forthnight. She has 2 other DILs to entertain her.

[janet88]

pacetone:

I'm also one lucky one who has very little or zero in-law problem simply because MIL bochap me and I also rarely bother her. I just respect her by greeting her whenever I meet her. Time to go home, I just said good-bye. We hardly talk and I only visit her once a week or once a forthnight. She has 2 other DILs to entertain her.

Same here. I don't have common topics with them...I don't yearn to be in control or demand attention. Very happy if I am left alone. It's really HI-and-BYE. This way, it is trouble free.

[fifiyeo]

It didn't used to be so bad for me. I could put up with a lot of \"abuse\" but these days I've given up and I realised that be being nastier, she became \"nicer\". At least now she cuts down on her comments.


MIL used to say this in front of DH and me, \"I not willing to study otherwise all her children will have the square hat!\" :mad: :mad: :mad:
Oh how does that feels? Then ILs got us all to take a big family photo and everyone (the children) was told to be in full graduation outfit except me 'cos I'm only a poly diploma holder, and now it's up on the wall for all visitors to see.

So I sure agree that less talk is better. No need to put up with nasty comments and politics.

[janet88]

fifiyeo:

MIL used to say this in front of DH and me, \"I not willing to study otherwise all her children will have the square hat!\" :mad: :mad: :mad:

Oh how does that feels? Then ILs got us all to take a big family photo and everyone (the children) was told to be in full graduation outfit except me 'cos I'm only a poly diploma holder, and now it's up on the wall for all visitors to see.

So I sure agree that less talk is better. No need to put up with nasty comments and politics.

This 'square hat' thing or 四方帽 drives me nuts. Hubby and his younger bro are degree holders...however the younger bro has a character, personality and attitude that sucks BIG time :mad: He is also a damn big sponger...he took everything I bought for then-bf-now-hubby. His bank account grows as such. When he burnt his fingers playing with shares, his mother gave him $$$ to bail him out. Now he wants the parents' flat.