Club Only Child Club

[irene.012687tan.012687rocketmail.012687com]

Hello seniors, I am a newbie. Due to medical reason, my husband and I decided to stop at one. I work part-time to take care of my boy (I work when he is in sch) as I believed that no one else could do the job better than I.


I am proud to say that he is now a v independent boy who does his homework without supervision. In fact, he even help me with housework. He is not selfish too, always helping his classmate with their homework. In fact, he is keen to share his things with neighbours and friends. Once, he even lend part of his pocket money to his classmate and told him 'got $ then return me, no hurry'.

People tend to have stereotyped view of a single child and I think it's unfair to them. Of course, mine do have his fair share of tantrums like any other kid. While chit-chatting with other parents with more than one kids, I found out that mine behaves just like theirs. The only difference is ... since mine has no sibling, he may sometimes say 'daddy or mummy, play with me'.

In some ways, single child are blessed. Some studies show that they tend to do well in school (I hope it's true).

So long as we bring up our kid well, we have done our job as parents.

[Dora]

Hi there, i think having 1 kid is better then O. We can give 100% attention and quality life style. Most important we enjoy the parenthood process and do our best as a parent.

[TTLauPeh]

Wifey and I also have only one.


1) Pressure from relatives especially at festive seasons. Queries come in on how come we only have one kid.
My relatives know better than to ask.

2) Feelings of inferiority on why we couldn’t ‘complete’ the family and have no 2?
The three of us, his hamster and my pet birds are a complete family. Wife thinking of getting a dog.

3) Child constantly asking for sibling.
Ours never did.

4) Child very clingey because there is no one else to entertain her.
Don’t have that problem. I work at home so at least one of us is always with him. No domestic helper. Funny boy calls me Mum sonetimes when my travels for work.

5) Child less socially apt as she has no one else to interact with.
He has more than a dozen cousins, most of whom he meets at my parents’ place every Friday. Also plays badminton, etc with the kids in our neighbourhood (invites himself to dinner sometimes). Surprisingly, he’s very nurturing towards younger kids; used to teach the nursery kids and classmates how to sing when he was in kindergarten (he only needs to listen to a song once). Gets along very well with adults.

6) Child rather selfish as she has no one else to share with.
Mine shares stuff. Now sorting stuff post-PSLE to give to younger cousins or take to Salvation Army.

[anneffendi]

My son is 4yrs old.

We are still planning for a second one but think is not the "time" yet.

1) Pressure from relatives especially at festive seasons. Queries come in on how come we only have one kid.
So far no issues… If ppl ask, say no luck yet or god willing there will be another one .

2) Feelings of inferiority on why we couldn’t ‘complete’ the family and have no 2?
nope.there are people with years of marriage but no child yet,so we are still lucky.

3) Child constantly asking for sibling.
Never, in fact he said don’t want hehehe

4) Child very clingy because there is no one else to entertain her.
Don’t have that problem.
He’s quite an independent child and find things to do .Only we come back, he would require "extra" attention.

5) Child less socially apt as she has no one else to interact with.
He goes to school, every wkend or occasions he will meet his cuzzins.Teacher likes him as he’s quite open and talkative within his comfort zone. If surroundings he’s not familiar with, he will be a "good" boy which ppl thought he is really a nice boy.Overall, he’s fine, well-behaved.


6) Child rather selfish as she has no one else to share with.
We teach and practice the meaning of sharing.If other kids take his stuffs/toys, he will just keep quiet.

[Eagle-Ladybird]

IT:

The only difference is ... since mine has no sibling, he may sometimes say 'daddy or mummy, play with me'.

Aiya, no diff. I have 2 kids, they both have said the same to me \"Can daddy play with me, with the sad eyes\" :lol:

[poo_power]

trying for no2 but no news


gave up the idea

as time passes - feel ‘lazy’ to be preggie and go thro the process of looking after a baby again

am in high risk age group - really scared of down syndrome

in hindsight - i think i am very selfish

i enjoy so much bonding with my toddler

cant imagine looking after a toddler and baby all by myself

selfish hor - but i dont wish to compromise on what i can give to baby and toddler

[autumnbronze]

poo_power:

trying for no2 but no news


gave up the idea

as time passes - feel 'lazy' to be preggie and go thro the process of looking after a baby again

am in high risk age group - really scared of down syndrome

in hindsight - i think i am very selfish

i enjoy so much bonding with my toddler

cant imagine looking after a toddler and baby all by myself

selfish hor - but i dont wish to compromise on what i can give to baby and toddler

Hi poo_power,

Could you please introduce yourself over the the Newbies thread so that we can get to know you a little better

[markfch]

Hi kaitlynangelica,


I think you hit the bull’s eye with this topic.

On your first 2 pts, I feel that while we should respect what others especially family members say, we should also be strong enough not to be unduely influenced. Off hand, the main issues I can see are:

Pros of single child
a) Can have everything including attention, no need to share.
b) No risk of unfair treatment from parents.

Cons of single child
a) No one to confine, share problems/joy etc.
b) Can be lonely at times.
c) Financial burden of supporting both parents singlehandedly in their old age.

What I’m trying to say is that we need to recognise the issues a single child face and see what we can do to resolve or at least alleviate the situation.

[Bronzy]

Hello All,

Just discovered this thread - am discovering new things on Kiasu.com every day!

Can empathise with kaitlynangelica. Have one girl too and am already in forties so another one is out of the question. Tried for many years - even for the first one. Feel blessed to have at least one but would be dishonest to say that I don’t envy others who are able to have more kids so easily. Go thru the ‘Why us?’ depression every so often. Esp when my dd starts grilling me on why she doesn’t have a sibling. Or when she prays and asks god to give her a sister. Makes me feel as though I have short changed her.

Agree with markfch’s list of pros and cons. Am especially concerned with con and worry who will be there for her when we are not around. Have (and still am) considering adoption but not sure how to go about it. More importantly, not sure whether I can love another child as much as I do my ds.

Anyone here who has adopted and willing to share experiences?

[autumnbronze]

Bronzy:

Hello All,



Anyone here who has adopted and willing to share experiences?

Hi Bronzy, you may want to check out this thread:

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=6195&highlight=adoption