What should I do?
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So pinky, you must start splurging on the supp card. JIAYOU
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pinky:
Need your advice on this dilemma:
My husband's sister recently divorced with 2 teenage kids and she is working full time. Recently, he told me that his sister wants to send her daughter to stay with me bec :
1. I am a SAHM so I have more time to supervise her
2. We have an extra room (actually used for games/lounging around)
The teenage daughter is frankly out of control and ill disciplined ah lian who is currently repeating JC1 and lives in a world of her own.
I told my husband no way I am letting her come bec being a SAHM doesnt mean I am free and obliged to take on such a responsibility where I feel strongly the mother should be the one to be there for her and not just pass her to me :mad:
My husband is the type who never says no to his family and he told me she will be be ONLY until end of the year and if she pass her exam, till end of 2012 :stupid: :stupid: My son will be taking his O level next year so I dun want to freak out and carry such unnecessary burden. So far no confirmation from the girl yet but I know the decision is more or less final and no amount of quarrelling will change the situation.
I need your advice and what is the best solution to get out of this sticky problem.
I did consider renting a room in my estate for the girl and I am willing to pay for the rental as long as she doesnt step into my house.
Hi, I understand your point. Even if you're a Stay at Home Mom, you have a lot of free time. There are so many things to take care of including your own family. Adding more responsibilities might just stress you out. Try talking to your husband and create plans that can help his sister and her daughters.
I think getting the girl a rented room wont solve the problem. Your husband's sister wanted someone to supervise her daughter while she's not around and they trust you that you can take good care of your niece in that case. Try to suggest other relatives that are close to their family where her daughter can feel comfortable. They may also try getting some household help to keep her daughter company while she's at work. -
insider:
we maintain separate accounts and there is a joint account for household expenses/tuition fees etc. The mozzie is sponging from his personal account and I don't control the purse strings- its shared by both of us.
pinky has to 'reflect' on her 'money management system'...buds:
Now back to sponging business... :rubhands:
is she holding the purse string too tight that the bowl is full and therefore will inevitably 'attract' this mozzie to come sponging to make the money move?
pinky, pls don't be offended coz am into such 'cosmic energy study' as well and so I see things from 'tangible' and 'intangible' angles...
just read my input from 'extraordinary' angle... (in life, many things happen that are beyond our comprehension / logic / etc. Your hubby is definitely not a dumb person and so in him, there's also struggle for sure.).
will spend some time to analyse your 'cosmic energy study' theory - very
new to me :evil: :evil: -
Hi Cathy, Happy new year to you.
Thanks for your comments.
I did not agree to letting her stay with me and she was sent to stay at one of her aunt's place for a few months but was asked to leave for some reasons. Now she's back with her mother.
Just :nailbite: :xedfingers:
don't every come back to me because my son is taking his O levels this year and hell has no fury than
a kancheong mother being kachiau for all the wrong reasons.. :nunchuk: -
buds:
Mine too... :gloomy: Old debts from FIL and BIL never get repaid...Hi pinky, hope your new year will be more peaceful n blissful with major hurdles out of the way. :hugs:
Don't understand why some hubbies allow themselves to be sponged. :scratchhead: Yeh.. I bet mine would say he doesnt mind cos its his money too. To think all this time I try to be an understanding n tolerant wife which includes not having to spend $ unnecessarily. Most times also $ usually spent on the children. Mebbe I should start learning how to sponge.. :idea:
One way to reduce the incidence of :moneyflies: you be in charge of savings for the household...
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Busymom:
Hmmmm same here. I believed DH when he lied that BIL had repaid all the loans. Luckily, MIL in a slip of tongue let out the secret, so no choice, BIL paid back cos he struck some lottery...... But frankly, is it really fully repaid I still dunno :skeptical:
Mine too... :gloomy: Old debts from FIL and BIL never get repaid...buds:
Hi pinky, hope your new year will be more peaceful n blissful with major hurdles out of the way. :hugs:
Don't understand why some hubbies allow themselves to be sponged. :scratchhead: Yeh.. I bet mine would say he doesnt mind cos its his money too. To think all this time I try to be an understanding n tolerant wife which includes not having to spend $ unnecessarily. Most times also $ usually spent on the children. Mebbe I should start learning how to sponge.. :idea:
One way to reduce the incidence of :moneyflies: you be in charge of savings for the household... -
pinky:
Actually... if I were you... whatever that his sister is getting him to buy, I will ask him to buy the same for you and your kid. Then he has to pay x2, then maybe he will feel :moneyflies:? :evil:
your poor husband will be a super dry sponge if both sides do the same :evil: :rotflmao: just jokingbuds:
Hi pinky, hope your new year will be more peaceful n blissful with major hurdles out of the way. :hugs:
Don't understand why some hubbies allow themselves to be sponged. :scratchhead: Yeh.. I bet mine would say he doesnt mind cos its his money too. To think all this time I try to be an understanding n tolerant wife which includes not having to spend $ unnecessarily. Most times also $ usually spent on the children. Mebbe I should start learning how to sponge.. :idea:
anyway, same as you even I have supp cards from him, sometimes I dont even use them for the entire month. Recently, to help cut down
unnecessary expenses, I forbid him to inform that SIL whenever he goes on overseas trips bec she will ask him to buy cosmetic at the duty free shops then again, never pay him. :mad: Mind you, the perfume that she buys are not cheap either and even have the cheek to buy for her 2 kids too :stompfeet: -
BeContented:
Hmmmm same here. I believed DH when he lied that BIL had repaid all the loans. Luckily, MIL in a slip of tongue let out the secret, so no choice, BIL paid back cos he struck some lottery...... But frankly, is it really fully repaid I still dunno :skeptical:[/quote]Mine actually splurge on a new car than repay back the study loan (not struck lottery, but after working for some time).
Mine too... :gloomy: Old debts from FIL and BIL never get repaid...Busymom:
[quote=\"buds\"]Hi pinky, hope your new year will be more peaceful n blissful with major hurdles out of the way. :hugs:
Don't understand why some hubbies allow themselves to be sponged. :scratchhead: Yeh.. I bet mine would say he doesnt mind cos its his money too. To think all this time I try to be an understanding n tolerant wife which includes not having to spend $ unnecessarily. Most times also $ usually spent on the children. Mebbe I should start learning how to sponge.. :idea:
One way to reduce the incidence of :moneyflies: you be in charge of savings for the household...
So these days, he doesn't even tell me when FIL borrows... anyway, I just close one eye loh... what to do?
Luckily BILs all have decent income now. I dread the day when something unexpected happens and they think they could just turn to him. -
insider:
Oh yes, I remember reading about that before. :goodpost: Maybe in the in-laws thread???
buds,buds:
Dry sponge, pinky?
I still haven't learnt yet leh..
After learn oso still need time and experience to apply. :evil:
My fault for being too understanding bah. :politebleah:
wonder have you ever read one of my writings on 'money bowl' (don't remember which thread it is now).
Basically it’s about the size of a person’s ‘money bowl’ is more or less fixed in his lifetime (no matter how hard or how lazy he is). He brings along this ‘size’ from his past karma.
So, if one’s bowl is already full, then the money will find ways to go out (whether to pay for medical, repairs, for relatives’ ‘sponging’ or whatever).
So, do your hubby a ‘favour’ by helping him to spend, meaning buying things only max with a second thought and not keep thinking and thinking. Well, if you don’t buy / spend, someone will (coz the money needs to go out for new money to come in. The ‘qi’ of money needs to move.)!
So, it’s OK to be a SPONGE!!
Gong Xi Fa Cai!
PS:
How many times have we heard of wives grieving about how well they had managed the family’s finances by being thoughtful and thrifty, only at the end to know that husbands splurging shamelessly on other women… -
Funz:
You should also help to refresh your DH's money's qi... :rotflmao:Which is why I spend my own money and not DH's money. I want to refresh my money's qi.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Ok a bit :siao: today.
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