Parents, not enrichment centres, are key to result

[tutormum]

:siam: first b4 commenting here. From some school teachers, I understand that most teachers are not competent in teaching all 3 subjects - EMS and if they have been teaching lower pri level, they are not confident to teach upper pri. In fact, they admit that tutors are better than them cos not only tutors teach all 3 subjects, they teach all levels. There are also some teachers who specialize in certain subjects and even students are aware of that cos they tell me Mr so and so or Ms so and so is a very good M/E/S teacher. From my students, I learn who their teachers are and what they are doing for their students. Certain teachers will \"chiong\" to bring up the standard of the students and the results are obvious during PSLE results day. If your child is not in top school but have such a 'chiong' teacher, you don't have much to worry. Then, you have the other 2 subjects to worry about. :xedfingers:

[Chenonceau]

tutormum:

From some school teachers, I understand that most teachers are not competent in teaching all 3 subjects - EMS

I agree with this. In the past, when PSLE difficulty was much lower, primary school teachers can manage 3 subjects. Right now, each PSLE subject requires highly specialized knowledge and skills. By right, the system should have changed in tandem such that primary school teachers, like secondary school teachers, also specialize.

However, primary school teachers are still made to teach 3 subjects. As a result, many cannot cope. In the current PSLE, not even enrichment centres can manage all 4 subjects.

[beanbear]

Chenonceau:

beanbear, I am glad you shared your story. It is a moving one that shines with your love for your child. And what you have done is no less heroic and self-sacrificing than the actions of a mother who would starve herself so that her children have enough to eat. I am so impressed that even though you're bad at Math, you went through all this effort of pre-digesting learning so as to make it easy for your son to absorb. ON TOP OF WORKING FULL-TIME.

This is such an inspiring story. Thank you for sharing.

Many a times, parents are blamed for wanting bragging rights when they try to help their kids. There are times too when it is done for love of the child.

Thanks very much Chenoneau for your affirmations.

Reading your past postings on helping your little boy in chinese also amazed me at how far you're willing to go to help your son. I've been encouraged (literally drawing courage from the stories of others) to do this mammoth task of learning primary school curriculum again.

With 3 younger ones and one of them sitting for PSLE next year as well, I've got a lot at stake and felt it was really worth the effort to slug it out. At times, when I was tearing my hair out from doing all those sums, and I cried out \"Why am I studying primary school all over again?!!! I thought I finished studying!!\", my darling kids will retort, \"Well, you chose to have kids!\"

Well in between the rigours of studying, I'm trying keep the kids sanity by ensuring that as much as possible, they have their 45min playground time everyday, 30mins TV, dinner conversations with mum and bedtime reading. It's tough squeezing all that in but like you, Chen, I believe play is very important to our children and their brains are still developing and in such dire need of exercise and other forms of stimulation. In years to come, I hope they will look back on their educational milestone years and recall that their mum was on their side, they didn't sweat it out alone, even when they struggled, their mum believed in them and found time to hug them, appreciate them and didn't reduce their self-worth to just educational grades.

[tutormum]

beanbear:

Chenonceau:

beanbear, I am glad you shared your story. It is a moving one that shines with your love for your child. And what you have done is no less heroic and self-sacrificing than the actions of a mother who would starve herself so that her children have enough to eat. I am so impressed that even though you're bad at Math, you went through all this effort of pre-digesting learning so as to make it easy for your son to absorb. ON TOP OF WORKING FULL-TIME.

This is such an inspiring story. Thank you for sharing.

Many a times, parents are blamed for wanting bragging rights when they try to help their kids. There are times too when it is done for love of the child.[/quo

Thanks very much Chenoneau for your affirmations.

Reading your past postings on helping your little boy in chinese also amazed me at how far you're willing to go to help your son. I've been encouraged (literally drawing courage from the stories of others) to do this mammoth task of learning primary school curriculum again.

With 3 younger ones and one of them sitting for PSLE next year as well, I've got a lot at stake and felt it was really worth the effort to slug it out. At times, when I was tearing my hair out from doing all those sums, and I cried out \"Why am I studying primary school all over again?!!! I thought I finished studying!!\", my darling kids will retort, \"Well, you chose to have kids!\"

Well in between the rigours of studying, I'm trying keep the kids sanity by ensuring that as much as possible, they have their 45min playground time everyday, 30mins TV, dinner conversations with mum and bedtime reading. It's tough squeezing all that in but like you, Chen, I believe play is very important to our children and their brains are still developing and in such dire need of exercise and other forms of stimulation. In years to come, I hope they will look back on their educational milestone years and recall that their mum was on their side, they didn't sweat it out alone, even when they struggled, their mum believed in them and found time to hug them, appreciate them and didn't reduce their self-worth to just educational grades.

:udawoman:

[Chenonceau]

beanbear:

I hope they will look back on their educational milestone years and recall that their mum was on their side, they didn't sweat it out alone, even when they struggled, their mum believed in them and found time to hug them, appreciate them and didn't reduce their self-worth to just educational grades.

:udawoman:

When Teachers, Friends and the rest of the world have written your child off as a failure (and even when the child himself has lost faith in his own capability), it is the Mother's belief in the child that will pull the child through to a safe berth. If I had believed what Teachers had said of my son, he would be (1) slow (2) blur (3) lazy (4) lacking in focus and (5) possessing of a bad attitude.

[Nebbermind]

Chenonceau:

If I had believed what Teachers had said of my son, he would be (1) slow (2) blur (3) lazy (4) lacking in focus and (5) possessing of a bad attitude.

I always believe the teachers have a reason for giving such comments and it's important for us parents to find out why instead of feeling insulted or defensive.

I know of someone, who when younger would receive comments that swings both ways....like 'very bright'....'very blur'. If one had bothered to observe him, they would have realised that he was either 'very enthusiastic' or 'disinterested'. Perhaps they have a very narrow band of interests.

So as parents, we must always have an opened mind and work with our kids on their shortcomings.

[Chenonceau]

Nebbermind:

I always believe the teachers have a reason for giving such comments and it's important for us parents to find out why instead of feeling insulted or defensive.

I know of someone, who when younger would receive comments that swings both ways....like 'very bright'....'very blur'. If one had bothered to observe him, they would have realised that he was either 'very enthusiastic' or 'disinterested'. Perhaps they have a very narrow band of interests.

So as parents, we must always have an opened mind and work with our kids on their shortcomings.

I never confront nor do I argue with Teachers. They have their perspectives. So I wasn't insulted nor defensive. I just never lost faith in my son, nor allowed the labels to stick. If all we see in our kids is shortcomings (that we need to work on), it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Without specifically telling my son about his shortcomings, we have succeeded in now getting epithets (from the SAME teacher) such as (1) outstanding (2) obedient (3) sincere (4) helpful... You wouldn't have thought it was the same boy.

The truth is, with 40 in a class, Teachers are prone to snap judgments based just on a few salient observations. I have spent 10 years with my son. I'm not gonna allow a Teacher's perspective to define what I believe of my son.

[Nebbermind]

Chenonceau:

I never confront nor do I argue with Teachers. They have their perspectives. So I wasn't insulted nor defensive. I just never lost faith in my son, nor allowed the labels to stick. If all we see in our kids is shortcomings (that we need to work on), it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.


Without specifically telling my son about his shortcomings, we have succeeded in now getting epithets (from the SAME teacher) such as (1) outstanding (2) obedient (3) sincere (4) helpful... You wouldn't have thought it was the same boy.

The truth is, with 40 in a class, Teachers are prone to snap judgments based just on a few salient observations. I have spent 10 years with my son. I'm not gonna allow a Teacher's perspective to define what I believe of my son.

Sorry if u had thought that my comments were directed at u. I was just relating how some parents would have reacted when they received negative comments.

[Chenonceau]

Nebbermind:

Sorry if u had thought that my comments were directed at u. I was just relating how some parents would have reacted when they received negative comments.

[coast]

Chenonceau:

beanbear:

I hope they will look back on their educational milestone years and recall that their mum was on their side, they didn't sweat it out alone, even when they struggled, their mum believed in them and found time to hug them, appreciate them and didn't reduce their self-worth to just educational grades.

:udawoman:

When Teachers, Friends and the rest of the world have written your child off as a failure (and even when the child himself has lost faith in his own capability), it is the Mother's belief in the child that will pull the child through to a safe berth. If I had believed what Teachers had said of my son, he would be (1) slow (2) blur (3) lazy (4) lacking in focus and (5) possessing of a bad attitude.

You forgot about Fathers again? :stompfeet:

I think you might have noticed - some parents believe (in a well-meaning way) that children are \"bright\" and \"not bright\" in academics. I believe most children are bright and if they are motivated, they can perform well academically too. IMHO, some are labeled too early (by teachers, parents, ... ) and these kids have lost faith and feel that they are less academically-inclined since adults told them so.