Working parents, how do you help your child with homework?

[Funz]

Yong HL:

yes yes! Funz.. exactly!! how do you remain cool? pls help....

Cool? Who says anything about remaining cool. haha. Like I said, I did my fair share of screaming and yelling at DD, even threw her books right across the room. I was a screaming banshee. I have a very short fuse.

These days I just keep telling DD. Work is hers, results is hers, effort has to be hers as well. Before the start of this year, we sat down and I explained to her that this is a 'streaming' year for her. I asked her which class would she like to be in come P4 and she told me she is aiming for the top 2 classes after GEP. So we went through what kind of grades she needs to maintain in order to get into those classes. She will improve but again start getting sloppy after a few days and I will just remind her and let her be.

In P1 drilled her paper after paper until she can show me that she is able to give me a set with minimal careless mistakes. Impossible to have 0 careless mistake but for DD, more then 10 careless mistake at that time was too much for me to stomach. After that drilling session, she came back with full marks and was so proud. Thereafter, there were relapse and I will tell her buck up or we are going to do 'drills' again the whole weekend.

Rewards are not a given thing (though still no lack of it but done more as a surprise instead of something they work towards) but withdrawal of privileges is a sure thing if they do not meet their objectives/complete their chores after repeated warnings and reminders.

Can only share what I do with my kids and I will not say that it works all the time. It is more a work in progress all the time.

[mwchua]

hi Funz,


Our girls are in the same school and same level

With the so limited amount of time I have with her after she transited to morning session this year, I have sort of moderated my expectation of her with it comes to streaming already. I think I have come to accept that this year her grades will drop quite tremendously.

Don't know why, my engines, as well as her engines, seemed to have slowed down after running very fast for the past 2 years.... :sad: I am also tired of the daily drilling and scolding from time to time, knowing at the back of my mind that there is no affiliation at her current school, that we run at this crazy speed year after year.....

At times, when she gives me \"nonsense\" work or seeing the same kind of mistakes numerous times, I just feel like giving it all up :imdrowning: A war starts and it often culminates in a volcanic eruption..... :stupid:

I don't know.....my hubby always says that the ownership lies with her, that she must feel that she is the one who can makes a difference. How I wish i can have a kid who is so self-motivated, but before she reaches that \"stage\", maybe I still need to put on my armour :?:

[Chenonceau]

mwchua, you have PM.

[RRMummy]

Hi all,


I'm also those with the precious 1+ hour daily.. also guilty of being the banshee.. so depressed... :imdrowning:

[Funz]

:hugs: RRmummy.


We just try our best. The first round of topical tests are happening now. Will see how DD fares. From there we will see if we need to tighten the screws or continue as is.

[Sun_2010]

RRMummy:

Hi all,


I'm also those with the precious 1+ hour daily.. also guilty of being the banshee.. so depressed... :imdrowning:

:snuggles:

I had my moments to. Its ok , next time lets reduce a little bit... one step at a time...

[MMM]

Seeing some of the postings on screaming, losing patience makes me feel that I am not alone.


Yes for a working parent, after a day long at work, it's really challenging to keep our cool in the evening. I personally get triggered off if I realised that they spent the day watching tv iso doing their homework, never put in effort or displaying bad attitude towards studying/ work. This will make me :mad: :rant: :spank: :stompfeet: :frustrated:

We've 3 kids. P5, P4 and P1. To the forumner who started this thread, with your eldest at P1, this is just the beginning. I always tell friends to enjoy their \"honeymoon\" period when kids are in preschool or still young. I wonder when my honeymoon period will come :? When they are in secondary school and it's beyond me to guide???

This is what we do since my eldest was in P2. We try to be home by 7pm on weekdays. My p4 and p5 are in morning session, so I expect them to finish their homework, etc... before we come back (I find it effective if I list down the deliverables each day). So in the night, this is for homework that are still unfinished, testing of spelling or for exams revision especially when it is near CA/ SA. As we are not early sleepers and my morning session kids do take naps, we usually end at 10pm. There are bad days when they watched tv and slept for a long time, no work is done and there are alot of work to be done. I will get really :stompfeet:

Meanwhile for my P1, she is in afternoon session, back by 7pm. So she would also have to start work at 7.30pm. As I am not home during day time, morning is her free time. So far, there is minimal homework from school. But time are spent on tingxie, spelling, doing enrichment classes homework (english, maths and chinese) and also trying to practise piano. I started to engage my P1 in the same schedule since she was K2 so this is not new to her.

I recalled when we first started, there was a huge adjustment for all our us. Instead of sitting down to watch tv or going for dinner and shopping after work, we've to be discipline to ensure we come back by 7pm to coach the kids. 3 years down the road, we are sort of used to it. There are alot of sacrifice too. I chose to stay on my current role as it provides me the work life balance i needed. This means giving up promotional opportunities. We can only have our getaways during school holidays. We need to plan business trip sensibly so as not to clash. I would usually travel after exams/ during holidays.

I saw another posting on engaging enrichment classes to help to coach. But personally, to ensure the effective of the classes, we actually need to spend time to coach the kids on enrichment classes stuff. So it's like added stress as we need to manage school cum enrichment classes homework. That sometimes.... i wonder if we really have time to revise.

So life is really hectic and I missed the school holidays. At least for me, my night time are dedicated to them. Sometimes, I may be doing my work in the same room but I make my presence felt while they do their own work. When there are pressing datelines, dh has to put aside his ipad and help out as well as I cannot possibly manage 3....

I think you need to split responsibilities with spouse otherwise you will go nuts especially when you have more than 1 kid.

[Funz]

I have 2 kids. Last 2 years were honeymoon period as only DD was in Pr sch. DS was still in full day childcare. This year with 2 of them in Pr sch and both morning session, they can be each other's study companion or distraction.


DH is travelling almost every week, Mondays - Thursdays so I am single mum until the weekends. Kids are expected to finish their homework and starting this week I gave them additional work as I find that they have too much free time.

We have CCTV at home and I can log into the network to see what they are up to. If I see them glued to the tv, their ipods will start buzzing. :evil: That is me facetiming them. Immediately they will turn off the TV, run into the room b4 anwering my facetime call.

So far, that has kept them on schedule. Quality of work, though, is another story lah.

[RRMummy]

Funz:

:hugs: RRmummy.


We just try our best. The first round of topical tests are happening now. Will see how DD fares. From there we will see if we need to tighten the screws or continue as is.

Thanks Funz!! I needed that..

All the best to you.

[RRMummy]

Sun_2010:

RRMummy:

Hi all,


I'm also those with the precious 1+ hour daily.. also guilty of being the banshee.. so depressed... :imdrowning:

:snuggles:

I had my moments to. Its ok , next time lets reduce a little bit... one step at a time...

Thanks Sun_2010. I sure needed that..

I've been advised to \"unable' myself so that DDs can 'enable' themselves more... I need my sanity... :gloomy: