Which sacrifice should I made?

[happyheart]

If you have exhausted all other means (e.g your husband also work late and unable to coach) , the best option is to delay your study. Your kid needs you more now. If he continues not to do well, his confidence level will dip and it will be harder to help him by then.

[cherrygal]

If you work full time, it is very taxing to return and coach your kid while fighting against time (since he needs to sleep early). A good alternative is after-school care. They have group tuition there and the teachers will make him finish his school work. When you take him home, you can enjoy quality time with him without any worry about homework.


If you take this option, whether you put your diploma on hold or not, it’s up to you.

[jedamum]

If your purpose of part time dip is to improve the financial situation of the family, how long do u think u can delay? He is in p2 now, are u going to delay til he goes to sec sch? Is he going to student care? Can student care teachers help in sch wk? How long is your part time dip? U need to be realistic as without support, the chance of u dropping out halfway is high. What kind of help is available at home? What does your kid do while waiting for u at home?

[Kafer]

Both my kids attended sch care but i must say that it really depends on the in charge. My no.1 does not do homework at sch care. The teacher also does not bother to get him to do his work. But my no. Z had a veryteacher and my no. 2’s result is very gd.

[blessed777]

My dd classmate was in student care fr abt 3-4 yrs but unfortunately there he did not get sufficient help and his result was poor yr after year, when his parents finally decided to pull him out at p5 n hire private tutor it was already too late, there is not much can be done as his foundation is very weak n the worse is his confidence level is low n i think its even more serious than merely academic result. Student care is suitable for the kids who are independent enough in studying, not for the weak one.

[pinkycheeks]

Thanks all for your opinion and guidance.


My supervisor has been telling me to further my studies because she finds that I have the potential to go further and by upgrading I can help to lift up the financial income. If I do not further my studies now, I will never be able to do so in future (by the time I hit mid 40s if I were to wait for my 2nd son to pull through PSLE).

I'm working full time and my elder son is taken care by an Indonesian helper. Though I emphasised to my son that it is better for him to do his homework in the afternoon so that I can focus on revision at night, he will still wait for me to come back. I guess he's still not so independent yet. I asked him yesterday if he is agreeable for me to study at night, and he doesn't want me to do so. I guess this shows he needs my attention more since I couldn't be with him during day time. Sigh..

[heyhoe]

Hi pinkycheeks,


Since your son is taken care by a helper, perhaps you can consider getting a tutor to help him with his work after school. You could perhaps ask around your neighbourhood for students (whom could charge cheaper) just to guide him with his work. However, you need to monitor at least during the initial stage to ensure this tutor is willing to put in effort to guide your child.

However from what you’ve written, I can see that your child loves to have you guide him. I think this is great as it creates bonding between both of you. Children grew up very fast.

[Nebbermind]

For me, it’s very imprtant to master the English language. No, I donch mean scoring A*, but having a good grasp of it, and for lower primary, at least try to get a high Band2. Coz everything here in SG is in English…u donch get it right, your other subjects will suffer…eventually.

[ebebel]

Hi Pinkycheeks

My opinion is, put your son first. He needs you more than your job. The PT studies can come later. But your son can only go through childhood once and it is now that he needs you most. I agree with the postings earlier that we need to help our kids build their foundation from lower primary… by the time they reach P5, it will be much harder and a greater struggle - because the school will only be focussed on preparing the kids for the PSLE and the weaker ones will be most stressed as they would still be trying to learn the basics!

Continue to encourage your son to try and do his hw after school - he could leave out those he can’t do and wait for you to go through with him at night. Have you tried using charts and incentives to motivate him? Like giving him a star for every hw he tries to complete (at least 50%?) and when he has achieved say 10 stars, give him a treat or get him a small present to reward him for his efforts? Praise him for every little effort he makes.

If you take up the PT course now, it will add more stress to both yourself and your son, because you will be struggling with your own studies after work and you will feel very guilty for not being able to spend more time with your son and help him. You might get frustrated with everything because you would be so tired and you still worry about your son’s progress. He will feel that your studies/career is more important than him. Right now, he needs you to be there for him, support him and help him build up his confidence in himself. I am not sure if hiring private tutors will help - it didn’t work for my DD. My DH tutored her personally everyday - he persevered, giving up on watching TV etc to spend time with her every night to go through her homework and do revision. That was the only way to help her be consistent and ‘catch up’ with schoolwork. Most kids need guidance in their primary school years. They will also feel more secured when parents are there for them and follow their progress closely.

Lastly, do not be disheartened by the test result, it doesn’t mean he has failed totally. It just means we need to see what are the gaps we might have missed out to help him reach his fullest potential. He is capable of doing well!

[happy to be mum]

hi pinkycheeks


I was in the same situation as you. I was about to submit my training form to my boss to take up a one year polytechnic course which will \"cost\" me 3 nights per week. My DH's job requires him to work late most of the times. In the end, I forgo it, my kids' foundation years are more important than my personal goals and development. Can you look for some online courses? I am trying to source for some online courses now.

My DS1 is also in P2 & so far my methods work for him. I have prepared a time table and pinned it up for him and the time table's generally has the time for his meal, his homework & assessment time, his music practice & nap time (he is in morning session). I realized we have to start drilling him to \"work hard consistently\" then he can also \"play hard\" during the weekends.

Mon to Fri, I will allocate some homework for him to do,mostly assessment books in the afternoon when he is back from school. Initially there were alot of \"bargaining\" from him that he cannot complete his work cause I have given him alot but the \"bargaining\" got lesser and lesser as the routine sets in. It helps that I have a good domestic helper who will call me if my son does not want to do his homework My son was complaining about her to me just the other day, saying Auntie always nags at him and told me he prefers the previous maid.

At night, when I am back from work, I will go through his work with him and this is also a time to bond. Of course, there will be days when I just do not feel like doing anything but to relax at home and watch TV programs, then he will be very happy.

To be a parents nowadays, we definitely have to sacrifice alot of our times. I do not need my son to be Number 1 but if he falls too far behind, it will be my fault cause my son has only me and DH to guide him as we do not believe in enrichment centres.

I try to console myself, I just need to guide him for primary school and after that, he will be on his own (cause I think is time to let go when he is in Sec Sch) and then I will have more time for myself!!!