Parents, not enrichment centres, are key to result

[janet88]

Hi doodbug,

No worries
My son is going to have time off from today (last paper of CA1) till Sun.
Going to hit the malls this Sun...I miss Orchard Rd.

[Champion]

janet_lee88:

Hi doodbug,

No worries
My son is going to have time off from today (last paper of CA1) till Sun.
Going to hit the malls this Sun...I miss Orchard Rd.

:hi5: :hugs: go, take a break and enjoy yourself! :imcool:

janet_lee88:

Tuition industry is already a booming industry...through sheer necessity.
I could hold back tuition (other than CL) for my son until he was in P5...last year, hubby & I couldn't handle anymore. Started him on Math and he was still struggling for 6 months to cope with the difficulty of the subject.

Definitely a VERY booming one! else one won't hear that have to wait for a year for a vacancy or to be put on the waitlist till there is a withdrawal in the existing class!

My DD1 is having Maths with a tutition centre though not those very \"branded\" one but the class is kept to a maximum of 14 students only. Her best friend was on the wait list since Dec and finally got a place when one of the student withdrew at beginning of Feb.

[Nebbermind]

BlueBells:

In any case, put the marks aside for now and recognise your girl's effort. It is important.

Yeah, DONCH PANIC! Try to understand where it went wrong and work on it.

[Chenonceau]

24hr-mum:

my p4 gal got jus 65 for math ca. i was shock cos she used to get 80. any hope? i m devastated

Boy... I've been there where you are. I completely understand the word \"devastated\".

(1) Keep all devastation out of your voice. Look at the script without emotion and say \"Hmmmmmm... How odd\". Meanwhile, inside you, scream all you want. Just keep the screaming silent and smile at your child through your silent screams. Then, come to KSP and .

(2) Analyze the paper WITH your child (still smiling kindly)... and say \"No child was born knowing so let's go through this paper to see which part is difficult and why.\"

(3) List down the difficulties. Rank order them in order of ease of fix. Fix the easy parts first. Fix the basic parts first. Example, if one of the weaknesses is errors in addition, subtraction etc... then fix that FIRST. It is important NOT to try and fix EVERYTHING at the same time. You will overwhelm yourself and become an emotional wreck. Your emotions will overwhelm your child. My son was lowest in class for SA2 in P3 Math. His problems were

(a) illegible handwriting
(b) poor computational skills

It took us about 6 months to generate enough computational practice to fix errors in computation. At that time, we completely ignored the challenging questions. We only started working on challenging questions AFTER we had achieved some success. Even for these, we rank ordered skills sets in order of ease of fix. Master the easy strategies first and then level up.

The journey to excellence is long but at every step, the child must feel success. So, structure the journey in such a way as to never test the child more than he/she can bear (which by the way is a useful biblical principle to apply to kids when the going gets tough).

In the beginning, when you look at the paper, you will feel overwhelmed by the sheer complexity and number of skills your child has not mastered. This is normal. But if you sit down and list out these skills and consciously tell yourself that marks don't matter... but slow and steady progress through the listed sets of skills do. This will calm everyone down (you and your child).

[LadyInBlack]

I dunnu if im out of topic…but i always feel teachers are very powerful people besides parents…and they have so much power with their words…to motivate or demotivate the children in their charges. sometimes a child may not be doing well…but when the teacher believes in them and encourages them…that may be all that the child needs.

My kids are finishing their ca today…and i hardly had the time to revise with them…im not expecting their results to be good…but really…is marks the only thing in life? i intend to recognise their effort and encourage them to try harder…even if they fail! ( i expect them to fail their MT)
I dunnu…i just felt like saying this…if im off topic…sorry!!

[Chenonceau]

LadyInBlack:

I dunnu if im out of topic...but i always feel teachers are very powerful people besides parents...and they have so much power with their words..to motivate or demotivate the children in their charges. sometimes a child may not be doing well..but when the teacher believes in them and encourages them...that may be all that the child needs.

My kids are finishing their ca today...and i hardly had the time to revise with them..im not expecting their results to be good..but really...is marks the only thing in life? i intend to recognise their effort and encourage them to try harder...even if they fail! ( i expect them to fail their MT)
I dunnu..i just felt like saying this..if im off topic..sorry!!

I've come to a point where I lift my child's chin upwards so that I can look in his eyes and say \"I don't care WHAT your Teacher says you can or cannot do. I don't care that your Teacher thinks you are slow and lazy. I am your MOTHER. I am more important than ANY Teacher. I, and only I, have the competence to judge whether you are good. Follow Mommy and I will guide you there. Wherever we end up, it will already be better than here.\"

In the beginning, it was tough because he thought I was biased. But after I guided him through to some successes, my DS realized that I was right to believe in him... and he learnt to believe in himself.

[LadyInBlack]

Im thankful that my boys teachers have not put them down yet…but my daughter yes…shes labelled as a slow learner and i take it with a pinch of salt…as in my eyes…shes doing really well! and yes…at the end of the day…if we are not fortunate to have encouraging teachers…its up to the parents to encourage and motivate and uplift their kids…

im sure our kids will get where they need to with us…after all, teachers are not constant…but parents are…and our kids become wat we believe them to be!

[larkspur]

blessed777:

larkspur:

[quote=\"Chenonceau\"]

Yes... this happened to my DS. He came home crying because he was taunted for being a poor student. Well... now he isn't anymore.

My girl lagi best. She comes home, tells me that she did not get full marks for her maths test, her maths teacher tells her\" i thought you are a smart/ clever girl but you are not.'i was like :mad: i asked her what makes the teacher thinks you are smart, she says dun know

could it be the case of selective hearing of an upset kid ? it happens sometimes with my kid. Perhaps what the teacher tried to tell is : I believe that u r a smart kid, it's just doesn't show yet in this test (meaning that yr dd has potential to improve).
At first my reaction was anger whenever my kid come home telling me something 'not nice' that her teacher told her/class, but then when I prompted my dd to elaborate what her teacher really said, i sometimes find out that is not really what her teacher saying but it sometimes my dd pick up wrongly or dd has different understanding/perception of what her teacher trying to tell, or sometimes it is her who give wrong wording when trying to tell me what her teacher told her. However, there r also teachers who are not good in motivating kids, or even bad & insensitive teachers.[/quote]Actually my girl is not upset with her marks cos she dun really care. The only subject that can get her upset is Art class , ie if she does not get an A for her art. i asked her the whole process and what the teacher says and why the teacher says that.She told me the teacher says that when she hands the test paper to my girl. i asked why teacher says that then she told me cos during everyday maths lesson, when teacher wrote the questions on the board, explain and ask them to do. She and a few other girls can do and get all correct. Then teacher think she and a few other girls are clever cos the rest got them wrong.My girl is what i call the \"parrot\" kind, she can literally repeat every word, exact to the point if you says 10 sentences, she can repeat the words of all the 10 sentences.She used to tell me what the teachers say in Childcare about certain things and i normally check with the teachers if what she says is true and the teachers always say yes.hmmm... for me i dun mind if she get full marks or not, cos without the full marks, i realised which part of maths she is weak in and i am working with her on the concept but what the teacher says is not nice especially to a P1 kid

[1amber]

Chenonceau:

24hr-mum:

my p4 gal got jus 65 for math ca. i was shock cos she used to get 80. any hope? i m devastated

Boy... I've been there where you are. I completely understand the word \"devastated\".

(1) Keep all devastation out of your voice. Look at the script without emotion and say \"Hmmmmmm... How odd\". Meanwhile, inside you, scream all you want. Just keep the screaming silent and smile at your child through your silent screams. Then, come to KSP and .

...


The journey to excellence is long but at every step, the child must feel success. So, structure the journey in such a way as to never test the child more than he/she can bear (which by the way is a useful biblical principle to apply to kids when the going gets tough).

Yeah boy, well said. Even I feel calm already. I was also devastated some time back when a teacher said lousy things about my kid to me IN FRONT of her. I am sure my kid though young could feel the stab wound and was equally devastated. I wanted to pick up my poor little darling and cry. When a mother fights back, she will do all possible to regain the child's confidence at whatever cost. That incident prompted me to switch her to an international pre school but the point is - eversince, I have been singing praises about her to make feel she is superb and successful already. Today she knows I think the world of her, even if she came home with \"eggs\". She is a human BEING not a human DOING. Like the song that goes, Nothing you can do can make Him love you more...

[concern2]

BeContented:

At this rate, tuition market for parents (for parents not kids) will be a booming business soon..... :roll:

It is already a booming business. Keeps unemployment rate lower. Good what.