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    In-law problems?

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Relationships
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    • P Offline
      pinky
      last edited by

      jessrav:
      Mine is a nightmare.it will take pages for me to pen it down.In short, a totally nightmarish experience.and I have to \"report\" to her house every once a week just for kids to play.if not hubby will have a war with me as he values close family ties. Yep,we are oth very different with our values....not that I am not close to my family.we have different styles in bringing up the kids, which is very stressful.

      me too. once a week have to put up at his sister's place where all the siblings and kids will gather, have lunch and then gossip about their
      spouses/in laws etc. This will take up almost the entire day and ending with a dinner outside... OMG can you imagine 15-20 people looking for
      seats in food courts on a Saturday evening? so alway proceed to restaurant bec they cannot bear to sit apart even during dinner :siao:
      And during school holidays, again it's travelling with them and squeezing
      into suite rooms bec they like to sleep/travel/eat/ as a family.
      So far I had only 1 chance to travel alone as a family (3 of us), it was a 4 days trip to HK and it was a nightmare bec my husband kept saying things like 'so sian, just 3 of us' 'my sisters/brothers will love to eat this'
      'you buay paiseh meh, just 3 of us travelling' 'no fun like this leh' 'next
      time make sure you arrange for my sis/bro to come otherwise I am not
      coming' :mad: :nunchuk: :spank: :pokeeye: :heresmyfish: :roll:

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • FunzF Offline
        Funz
        last edited by

        hehe, pinky, you just described my family leh.


        I am ok with going on trips with just DH and the kids. But really, for me, the ones with my parents, sisters and even cousins along are a lot more enjoyable and memorable.

        With DH’s family, it is the opposite. Everyone is in a hurry to move on or totally absorbed in their own stuff. We use to go to IL’s hse on either Saturday or Sunday for dinner. When we arrive, DH will let himself in, FIL will be glued to the horse racing channel and jotting stuff down on his notebook, MIL will be in the room doing whatever, SIL is never around. So we just park ourselves on the sofa and do whatever we fancy. Then when dinner time comes, MIL will ask FIL how, FIL will ask DH how and we will say eat out. So we head out and have a rather silent dinner, send them home and that’s it.

        I find it so sad.

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • R Offline
          racoon12
          last edited by

          me too. once a week have to put up at his sister's place where all the siblings and kids will gather, have lunch and then gossip about their

          spouses/in laws etc. This will take up almost the entire day and ending with a dinner outside... OMG can you imagine 15-20 people looking for
          seats in food courts on a Saturday evening? so alway proceed to restaurant bec they cannot bear to sit apart even during dinner :siao:
          And during school holidays, again it's travelling with them and squeezing
          into suite rooms bec they like to sleep/travel/eat/ as a family.
          So far I had only 1 chance to travel alone as a family (3 of us), it was a 4 days trip to HK and it was a nightmare bec my husband kept saying things like 'so sian, just 3 of us' 'my sisters/brothers will love to eat this'
          'you buay paiseh meh, just 3 of us travelling' 'no fun like this leh' 'next
          time make sure you arrange for my sis/bro to come otherwise I am not
          coming' :mad: :nunchuk: :spank: :pokeeye: :heresmyfish: :roll:[/quote]

          Travelling with my MIL put a strain on me. I cant never be a good DIL dun noe how to rub a shoulder with my MIL.

          For my hubby, he had an experience travelling with my MIL and his bro & family (minus me....). Came back he was telling me, wow very challenging, being a referree btwn his mum and sil....

          So far he never suggesting travelling with them again... touch wood.... as the experience forged a deep impression on him... 🙂

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • B Offline
            buds
            last edited by

            racoon12:
            janet_lee88:

            [quote=\"buds\"]if you do get to know (what the whispers were abt) it either affects your mood through the day or week... or it may inflict feelings that may not be so healthy towards hubby. At first the sensitivity will be brushed often but after a while of training, hope you won't fret your pretty self over it. :hugs: It won't be worth it.


            Janet_lee88.. i agree that they can be soo close that they ignore and give in to bloody nonsense attitude. I find because they don't make a stand and condone, they will show some more. :roll:

            Honestly, why bother to know what they are so talking ? It's better NOT knowing bcos like what buds mentioned, it affects our moods for the day or even the whole week. Forget it...let them yak or whisper all they want...not worth it.
            So long as SHE doesn't get in my way or my life.

            Hear no EVIL, see no EVIL... Although sometimes I am curious what are their conversation is, but most of the time not knowing will be a blessing for me... 🙂 they might nt appreciate my side of sharing n comment thou cos they tot they noe every single thing. As long as they leave me alone I will be more than happy.[/quote]Yup. :celebrate:

            As long as they leave you out of all the unwanted drama... safe. :preen:

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • B Offline
              buds
              last edited by

              jessrav:
              Mine is a nightmare.it will take pages for me to pen it down.In short, a totally nightmarish experience.and I have to \"report\" to her house every once a week just for kids to play.if not hubby will have a war with me as he values close family ties. Yep,we are oth very different with our values....not that I am not close to my family.we have different styles in bringing up the kids, which is very stressful.

              I used to have to do that. :mad:

              It was really a pain.

              Sometimes we end up not having quality time over the weekend. Can be due to affected issues end up both of us bad mood and then the work week starts all over again. Sianz. Not to mention not healthy for marriage. But still the man doesn't realize that. :skeptical: Rather allow marriage to suffer to please parents and their whims.

              Can your hubby alone be the one to report strength?

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • B Offline
                buds
                last edited by

                When i was watching parliament the other day and then suddenly from nowhere came the sentence so loud and clear from Mr Khaw Boon Wan who said this.. \"All families want to live with their parents.\" I was like :yikes:! \"Good way to show filial piety and for grandparents to help out with taking care of the grandchildren.\" :siao:


                Seriously a sweeping statement. :rant:

                How many mini pigeon holes do we have in our already tiny pigeon holes?

                Who is the ALL he was referring to?

                And puhleeze.. mine won't bother to want to take care of the grandchildren. :roll:
                Not interested okay. They some more want freedom. I mean who doesn't right?
                Already take care of own children so long.. not many want to continue the
                business after that with grandchildren. Time for travel.. happy retirement
                plans to kick in.. and spiritual healing/guidance for the afterlife.

                Staying together? For the good of everyone? EVERYONE???
                I think higher divorce rates got la. 😞

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • P Offline
                  pinky
                  last edited by

                  nowasdays grandparents also must work to pay the bills so how to babysit grandchildren even though they would love to… sigh

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • C Offline
                    coolit
                    last edited by

                    Staying together for the good of everyone?!- I think it is only good for the one saying it. They probably don’t know the ground enough, nobody thinks that!

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • L Offline
                      LOLMum
                      last edited by

                      he should give us a list of MIW who live with their parents or in laws (in the same house). cannot be same block different units since he said "All families want to live with their parents." "live with" and not "near to".



                      even lky is not living with his married kids.

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • C Offline
                        Chenonceau
                        last edited by

                        buds:
                        When i was watching parliament the other day and then suddenly from nowhere came the sentence so loud and clear from Mr Khaw Boon Wan who said this.. \"All families want to live with their parents.\" I was like :yikes:! \"Good way to show filial piety and for grandparents to help out with taking care of the grandchildren.\" :siao:


                        Seriously a sweeping statement. :rant:

                        How many mini pigeon holes do we have in our already tiny pigeon holes?

                        Who is the ALL he was referring to?

                        And puhleeze.. mine won't bother to want to take care of the grandchildren. :roll:
                        Not interested okay. They some more want freedom. I mean who doesn't right?
                        Already take care of own children so long.. not many want to continue the
                        business after that with grandchildren. Time for travel.. happy retirement
                        plans to kick in.. and spiritual healing/guidance for the afterlife.

                        Staying together? For the good of everyone? EVERYONE???
                        I think higher divorce rates got la. 😞
                        :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

                        He's a MAN lah... all the men think like that. By EVERYONE, my husband means HIMSELF. He also said it's good for everyone. I gave him a speech that looks like the above... peppered with

                        \"Everyone? Who is everyone? I am not everyone? It's good for me?.... Blah... blah... blah...\" But hor... I talk big only because finally, I ended up staying with his parents and I smile when everyone says it's good for everyone because obviously I am no one.

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0

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