How much household income is enough?

[Funz]

Canvas:

Funz:

At one point, DH was really feeling the stress of being the main income earner even though we were financially comfortable throughout. He started penny pinching and became really moody and mean.

This is very crucial and I hope you will share. How did you and your DH work this part out?

I think part of our problem was cos I was paying a fair bit of our household expenses without DH truly realising how much it added up to. So when he had to start paying for some these, it seems as if his expenses suddenly went up by a lot.

I went through with DH in detail our finances, even projecting it 1 year ahead with worth case scenario. That put things into perspective and helped a little.

The rest DH had to work on it himself. His is a psychological stress. So telling him that if he feels that all these is too much, I can always go back to work, since I was still receiving job offers, also help as he knows that there is a way out.

[daddy2007]

Imp75:

One other consideration is also that if hubby becomes the sole breadwinner, will it be very unfair for him to shoulder the family expenses?

The pressure will be on the hubby as he will be hesitant to change job so easily if things don't go well.

[Imp75]

yup great advice folks, whatever you guys suggested, all these were in my mind too. I really was afraid to take the plunge, lose that income and realise SAHM is not for me, although I really would love to spend more time coaching my 3 children in their primary years. Hubby wasn’t really unsupportive just that he asked me to reconsider my decision (I was never a family person to start off with) and I thought it would also be very stressful for him to shoulder the family expenses. for instance, if he is now unhappy with his work, I would tell him "screw it, look for another job". If he becomes the sole breadwinner and feel unhappy at work, he can’t just "screw it and leave". Next is also managing the parents expectations, my parents would feel slighted about why I would not try to put my education to good use and get a jood job blah blah blah

Really dilemma.

[Canvas]

Funz:

I think part of our problem was cos I was paying a fair bit of our household expenses without DH truly realising how much it added up to. So when he had to start paying for some these, it seems as if his expenses suddenly went up by a lot.

I went through with DH in detail our finances, even projecting it 1 year ahead with worth case scenario. That put things into perspective and helped a little.

The rest DH had to work on it himself. His is a psychological stress. So telling him that if he feels that all these is too much, I can always go back to work, since I was still receiving job offers, also help as he knows that there is a way out.

Thanks for sharing, Funz. It is very true and I can definitely identify with it.

[Canvas]

Imp75:

yup great advice folks, whatever you guys suggested, all these were in my mind too. I really was afraid to take the plunge, lose that income and realise SAHM is not for me, although I really would love to spend more time coaching my 3 children in their primary years. Hubby wasn't really unsupportive just that he asked me to reconsider my decision (I was never a family person to start off with) and I thought it would also be very stressful for him to shoulder the family expenses. for instance, if he is now unhappy with his work, I would tell him \"screw it, look for another job\". If he becomes the sole breadwinner and feel unhappy at work, he can't just \"screw it and leave\". Next is also managing the parents expectations, my parents would feel slighted about why I would not try to put my education to good use and get a jood job blah blah blah

Really dilemma.

It is totally understandable. It is good to sort out your thoughts. It took me about 2 months of sleepless nights to come to the decision to stay at home.

[cherrygal]

When there is a real family need and no financial worries, your SAHM decision should come easily, and supported by all.

[HAPPYH]

Canvas:

Imp75:

yup great advice folks, whatever you guys suggested, all these were in my mind too. I really was afraid to take the plunge, lose that income and realise SAHM is not for me, although I really would love to spend more time coaching my 3 children in their primary years. Hubby wasn't really unsupportive just that he asked me to reconsider my decision (I was never a family person to start off with) and I thought it would also be very stressful for him to shoulder the family expenses. for instance, if he is now unhappy with his work, I would tell him \"screw it, look for another job\". If he becomes the sole breadwinner and feel unhappy at work, he can't just \"screw it and leave\". Next is also managing the parents expectations, my parents would feel slighted about why I would not try to put my education to good use and get a jood job blah blah blah

Really dilemma.

It is totally understandable. It is good to sort out your thoughts. It took me about 2 months of sleepless nights to come to the decision to stay at home.

How do you feel now? Any regrets? Do you mind t share? Thanks

[cherrygal]

I \"invite\" myself to reply to the question of regret or not. hahaha


I have been SAHM for slightly more than a year now. Most of the time, no regrets, coz can wake up late, shop leisurely, relax and veg sometimes. Can spend more time with kids and no stress from bosses etc...

Occasionally, feel a bit scared that I will lose my industry value and get paranoid over the 'what-ifs' esp if divorced or choi-choi lah, thus I still insist on doing some part-time work where possible just to keep one foot in the industry.

Initially, was also afraid I am not cut out to be SAHM coz of my short temper but realised that SAHM need not face the kids 24 hours a day coz the kids still need to go to school for learning and socializing...

It's about having the flexibility and time to work round the kids' after-school needs (school ferrying, CCA/enrichment, take care of them when they are sick etc) and alleviate the breadwinner's stress from the home front where possible.

Being SAHM also allows me to cook good and nutritious dinners for the family coz if I worked full-time, I prob won't have the time to do that.

[LOLMum]

cherrygal:

coz can wake up late, shop leisurely, relax and veg sometimes.

:pokeeye: :nunchuk: :spank: :heresmyfish: :wrongmove: :torchme: :razz:

[auntieM]

LOLMum:

cherrygal:

coz can wake up late, shop leisurely, relax and veg sometimes.

:pokeeye: :nunchuk: :spank: :heresmyfish: :wrongmove: :torchme: :razz:

:hi5: