How much household income is enough?

[Canvas]

Funz:

I think part of our problem was cos I was paying a fair bit of our household expenses without DH truly realising how much it added up to. So when he had to start paying for some these, it seems as if his expenses suddenly went up by a lot.

I went through with DH in detail our finances, even projecting it 1 year ahead with worth case scenario. That put things into perspective and helped a little.

The rest DH had to work on it himself. His is a psychological stress. So telling him that if he feels that all these is too much, I can always go back to work, since I was still receiving job offers, also help as he knows that there is a way out.

Thanks for sharing, Funz. It is very true and I can definitely identify with it.

[Canvas]

Imp75:

yup great advice folks, whatever you guys suggested, all these were in my mind too. I really was afraid to take the plunge, lose that income and realise SAHM is not for me, although I really would love to spend more time coaching my 3 children in their primary years. Hubby wasn't really unsupportive just that he asked me to reconsider my decision (I was never a family person to start off with) and I thought it would also be very stressful for him to shoulder the family expenses. for instance, if he is now unhappy with his work, I would tell him \"screw it, look for another job\". If he becomes the sole breadwinner and feel unhappy at work, he can't just \"screw it and leave\". Next is also managing the parents expectations, my parents would feel slighted about why I would not try to put my education to good use and get a jood job blah blah blah

Really dilemma.

It is totally understandable. It is good to sort out your thoughts. It took me about 2 months of sleepless nights to come to the decision to stay at home.

[cherrygal]

When there is a real family need and no financial worries, your SAHM decision should come easily, and supported by all.

[HAPPYH]

Canvas:

Imp75:

yup great advice folks, whatever you guys suggested, all these were in my mind too. I really was afraid to take the plunge, lose that income and realise SAHM is not for me, although I really would love to spend more time coaching my 3 children in their primary years. Hubby wasn't really unsupportive just that he asked me to reconsider my decision (I was never a family person to start off with) and I thought it would also be very stressful for him to shoulder the family expenses. for instance, if he is now unhappy with his work, I would tell him \"screw it, look for another job\". If he becomes the sole breadwinner and feel unhappy at work, he can't just \"screw it and leave\". Next is also managing the parents expectations, my parents would feel slighted about why I would not try to put my education to good use and get a jood job blah blah blah

Really dilemma.

It is totally understandable. It is good to sort out your thoughts. It took me about 2 months of sleepless nights to come to the decision to stay at home.

How do you feel now? Any regrets? Do you mind t share? Thanks

[cherrygal]

I \"invite\" myself to reply to the question of regret or not. hahaha


I have been SAHM for slightly more than a year now. Most of the time, no regrets, coz can wake up late, shop leisurely, relax and veg sometimes. Can spend more time with kids and no stress from bosses etc...

Occasionally, feel a bit scared that I will lose my industry value and get paranoid over the 'what-ifs' esp if divorced or choi-choi lah, thus I still insist on doing some part-time work where possible just to keep one foot in the industry.

Initially, was also afraid I am not cut out to be SAHM coz of my short temper but realised that SAHM need not face the kids 24 hours a day coz the kids still need to go to school for learning and socializing...

It's about having the flexibility and time to work round the kids' after-school needs (school ferrying, CCA/enrichment, take care of them when they are sick etc) and alleviate the breadwinner's stress from the home front where possible.

Being SAHM also allows me to cook good and nutritious dinners for the family coz if I worked full-time, I prob won't have the time to do that.

[LOLMum]

cherrygal:

coz can wake up late, shop leisurely, relax and veg sometimes.

:pokeeye: :nunchuk: :spank: :heresmyfish: :wrongmove: :torchme: :razz:

[auntieM]

LOLMum:

cherrygal:

coz can wake up late, shop leisurely, relax and veg sometimes.

:pokeeye: :nunchuk: :spank: :heresmyfish: :wrongmove: :torchme: :razz:

:hi5:

[buds]

cherrygal:

I \"invite\" myself to reply to the question of regret or not. hahaha


I have been SAHM for slightly more than a year now. Most of the time, no regrets, coz can wake up late, shop leisurely, relax and veg sometimes. Can spend more time with kids and no stress from bosses etc...

Occasionally, feel a bit scared that I will lose my industry value and get paranoid over the 'what-ifs' esp if divorced or choi-choi lah, thus I still insist on doing some part-time work where possible just to keep one foot in the industry.

Initially, was also afraid I am not cut out to be SAHM coz of my short temper but realised that SAHM need not face the kids 24 hours a day coz the kids still need to go to school for learning and socializing...

It's about having the flexibility and time to work round the kids' after-school needs (school ferrying, CCA/enrichment, take care of them when they are sick etc) and alleviate the breadwinner's stress from the home front where possible.

Being SAHM also allows me to cook good and nutritious dinners for the family coz if I worked full-time, I prob won't have the time to do that.

:hi5:

[kids_r_innocent]

cherrygal:

I \"invite\" myself to reply to the question of regret or not. hahaha


I have been SAHM for slightly more than a year now. Most of the time, no regrets, coz can wake up late, shop leisurely, relax and veg sometimes. Can spend more time with kids and no stress from bosses etc...

Occasionally, feel a bit scared that I will lose my industry value and get paranoid over the 'what-ifs' esp if divorced or choi-choi lah, thus I still insist on doing some part-time work where possible just to keep one foot in the industry.

Initially, was also afraid I am not cut out to be SAHM coz of my short temper but realised that SAHM need not face the kids 24 hours a day coz the kids still need to go to school for learning and socializing...

It's about having the flexibility and time to work round the kids' after-school needs (school ferrying, CCA/enrichment, take care of them when they are sick etc) and alleviate the breadwinner's stress from the home front where possible.

Being SAHM also allows me to cook good and nutritious dinners for the family coz if I worked full-time, I prob won't have the time to do that.

:hi5: :love: :hugs:

[Canvas]

:celebrate: Cherrygal answered the question perfectly!


I honestly feel that it is such a privilege to be able to spend so much time with my children. Although my DD sticks to me like superglue, I think she is happier ever since I stayed at home. I am always the first one she sees when she wakes up and the last one she sees when she goes to bed. I get to help DS with his school work (when he asked me to lah :oops: ) while in the past, I was so exhausted from teaching other people's children that my own child went to After School Care. I had no energy to talk by the time I was done with fetching the kids (public transport no less)/cooking/cleaning up after dinner etc around 8pm, let alone went through his school work.

I used to cook dinner for the sake of filling their stomachs, which was a pity because I really enjoy cooking. Now I cook different types of food everyday and my kids have grown so much taller. :imcool:

At the back of my mind, I do worry about the sad state of my bank account and the what ifs but childhood is only once. If I missed my children's childhood, I will never be able to get it back. There is a saying that only when we understand when to let go of certain things, then are we able to truly experience happiness. Money is not everything (of course, if the husband is not earning enough in the first place, then I feel it is important to continue working to help him out).

Most importantly, I no longer have Monday Blues! :rahrah: :rahrah: