How much household income is enough?
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nobodybutchiew:
Yes, her case sounds pretty severe. Hopefully with 1st trimester passed, her condition will be significantly better. Has she tried small but frequent meals? My first trimester with the 2 girls were bad. The smell of the canteen can make me puke. Also while people enjoy their food at the restaurant, the look of it makes me sick. The \"blessing\" is that after delivery, I don't have much to lose since I was \"losing weight\" while pregnant.My wife's nausea was quite severe. Not just the feeling of nausea but full blown vomiting after every meal. Almost had to be hospitalised but luckily it relaxed out a little. Now with medication, she only vomits maybe once in two days, but is already past the 1st trimester so it's unfortunate she still has to endure this. Other symptoms she's going through are breathlessness, dizziness, headaches, cramps, constipation and piles. She finds it hard to focus on her work while undergoing all this at the same time.
Her boss is not the supportive sort. Strange considering that she herself is a mother. She told my wife to plan her MCs in the future to make sure it doesn't clash with other colleagues' leave. Ridiculous right?! How to plan such things? So end up my wife feels guilty if she has to take MC. This unsupportive work environment leads to her feeling more upset. it's a real pity, because considering the work that she's doing, her salary is really not bad.
My largest worry for her is that her character is the pessimistic sort. The hormones must have elevated this to a new level because I suspect she's going to have pre-natal depression. Our gynae feels the same way, but doesn't want to put her on anti-depressants just yet. He's given her a two week MC for her to ride out the symptoms. By that time she'll be in her 16th week. If nothing changes, he might have to give her anti-depressant medication (i'm rather worried how this will affect the baby).
Sigh.. I too, think that it's very difficult to be a single income family in Singapore. It's not like I'm earning $10k. I barely felt that $30k was enough for a new flat, let alone a new flat + a newborn.
Hopefully the hormones wears off and she feels better about her job. There's no guarantee anyway that she'll feel better if she quits her job. With our income cut in half, our purse strings might very well be her new worry.
But I share the view that depression is the key concern for her especially with those issues going on. With or without a job also another factor to worry..... Really not easy.
Maybe ask her to take it slow. Take one step at a time and buy time. If she really cannot take it, then resign. Provide your emotional support to her. Money though important cannot buy everything. In situations like that, we got to step back.
How about asking her to join some of those motherhood forum. So that she can talk about the problems she faced. She might come across other mothers who are in the same condition and that will provide some support on how to handle and emotionally as well. -
nobodybutchiew:
Bring home $3800 can be enuff providedSorry to borrow TS's thread. I have a related question/situation so hope I can hear some people's opinion.
My wife and I are both still working, she's 14 weeks pregnant now. It's been a tough 1st trimester, and hopefully her symptoms will improve. However, she's not optimistic and feels dread when she's going to work. As such she's thinking about quitting and just wants to focus on giving birth. I empathise with her and wish that I could give her a good life too, but my take home salary is about $3,800.
Furthermore, our new flat is coming about the same time as the baby. So the costs of baby stuff and renovation will all be coming at the same time. We have savings about $30k, but dunno will it be enough anot.
Of course, the health and happiness of my wife and baby is top priority, but at the back of my mind i'm also thinking, if she can just hold out until she gives birth, it will help so much! Women are entitled to like 4 months maternity leave and get paid to rest! It's like free money...
Has anyone been in this situation before? What was the final choice you made and how did you cope?
1.your new HDB loan monthly installment is fully paid using CPF n no cash involved
2. You dun have to pay for car liability eg car loan , rd tax
3. You dun have excessive insurance policies
4. You dun take up Reno loan
You can also consider rent out a room of your flat to increase income. Happiness is wat $ can't buy
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MMM:
Yup, she's tried small and frequent meals. She was also constantly losing weight up till 13 weeks. Thankfully when the doctor weighed her yesterday, she's put on 1kg! I'm really happy for that.
Yes, her case sounds pretty severe. Hopefully with 1st trimester passed, her condition will be significantly better. Has she tried small but frequent meals? My first trimester with the 2 girls were bad. The smell of the canteen can make me puke. Also while people enjoy their food at the restaurant, the look of it makes me sick. The \"blessing\" is that after delivery, I don't have much to lose since I was \"losing weight\" while pregnant.
But I share the view that depression is the key concern for her especially with those issues going on. With or without a job also another factor to worry..... Really not easy.
Maybe ask her to take it slow. Take one step at a time and buy time. If she really cannot take it, then resign. Provide your emotional support to her. Money though important cannot buy everything. In situations like that, we got to step back.
How about asking her to join some of those motherhood forum. So that she can talk about the problems she faced. She might come across other mothers who are in the same condition and that will provide some support on how to handle and emotionally as well.
Yup, i've advised her to go online and read up on what other mothers are going through. She's not really in the mood these days, but hopefully while she's on her 2 week MC, she'll take the time to do some homework. I believe if she sees that other mothers go through the same things, she will feel that it's normal and won't feel so dejected. (she thinks everyone else have easy pregnancies)puff:
Thanks so much, I really needed to hear that.
Bring home $3800 can be enuff provided
1.your new HDB loan monthly installment is fully paid using CPF n no cash involved
2. You dun have to pay for car liability eg car loan , rd tax
3. You dun have excessive insurance policies
4. You dun take up Reno loan
You can also consider rent out a room of your flat to increase income. Happiness is wat $ can't buy
1. Thankfully when we booked our flat, the 4-room flats had already sold out, so we were forced to buy a 3-room flat. Although small, I'm very thankful that our CPF can fully cover for it.
2. We don't have a car, although we have a very high reliance on taxis.
3. Not sure what's excessive. Mine is about $200 a month, hers is $300 a month.
4. We'll probably get a no-interest loan with a perpetual payback period from our parents.
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OT. My fren had morning sickness the whole of ten months and she lost weight during the pregnancy. Baby was fine (baby will suck up mummy's vitamins). Not all have it easy.
It could be hormones at play. Suggest that you sign her up at http://www.babycenter.co.uk. Their website is excellent and they give monthly/weekly(?) updates as to how your baby looks like now.
Hope all goes well for you! -
What is OT?
Anyway I think 30K for the time being should be enough to tide you through as you do not seem to have any other loan Plus your parents are providing financial help.
Did your wife try Eu Ren Sen chinese doctor? They can give some medications to provide relief during a difficult pregnancy. My relative was pregnant at 40 with twins!! imagine!! She constantly went for consultation at Eu Ren Sen and she gave birth to healthy baby twins boys. Today, they are already 8!!! I remembered she told me the medicine helps her alot. -
OT = Off Topic?
Haha... this income thread become nausea thread...
Anyway, get your wife to tahan another 5-6 months... dun rugi the maternity leave coz if she leaves now, no company will hire her. And if she really dun want to stay in this job, just do the bare minimum. The company cannot sack her during her pregnancy. Just leave on the dot, push the deadlines, tell gynae to give her as many MCs as possible... most gynaes are very generous with MCs. Then she can quit 2 months after her maternity leave stating that she wants to stay home for the baby. Many of my frens did this...
Her boss will pull hair... hahaha -
Get 2nd hand baby/educational stuff.
Check out ksp garage sale or Singapore motherhood forum.
My 2 cents -
Yes, no need to splurge on baby’s stuff or renovation. Keep things to necessities if possible. My parents always tell me how they started with a flat with no furniture except a bed and a table. They didn’t even have chairs. For us it was just a bit better - we had chairs, a sofa, and a TV and that was all. I was glad we were prudent because baby had a congenital condition and we paid 15k for the two operations. It was the sum I was just paid for my last project, and the money goes so quickly when there are medical issues. My husband was then a fresh grad waiting to start his contract and had zero savings, and I really pat myself on the back for my financial prudence over the years.
But you know, kids grow up and financial situations do improve as long as one is prudent, so once you have done your calculations and see where you can save, don’t worry too much. -
:hi5: deminc
DH and I started out with bare necessities too when we moved out from my in-laws. While my peers were drowning in reno debt in addition to other expenses, we lived simply. Over the years, we have been able to slowly acquire some good furniture.
The other thing we did was to plan ahead with our purchase of fixtures. The flat was vacant for some time before we moved in. We would trawl along Balestier and other areas for sales of bathroom fixtures and floor tiles. We got our Grohe at a really good deal. Also our marble flooring, which was from a wholesaler who was clearing stock.
nobodybutchIew,
I hope your wife gets better. it's very important that she stays positive at this point of time.
All the best :celebrate: -
cherrygal:
:skeptical: And we wonder why pregnant women are being discriminated against. :razz:OT = Off Topic?
Haha... this income thread become nausea thread...
Anyway, get your wife to tahan another 5-6 months... dun rugi the maternity leave coz if she leaves now, no company will hire her. And if she really dun want to stay in this job, just do the bare minimum. The company cannot sack her during her pregnancy. Just leave on the dot, push the deadlines, tell gynae to give her as many MCs as possible... most gynaes are very generous with MCs. Then she can quit 2 months after her maternity leave stating that she wants to stay home for the baby. Many of my frens did this...
Her boss will pull hair... hahaha
If really don't want to work anymore, do everyone, boss, fellow workers and yourself a favour. Quit on a good note.
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