In-law problems?
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chloecube:
First thing I'll do is tell my kids in front of her by saying that it is wrong to mess up both mummy's AND daddy's things.
\" Daddy's things cannot mess up, if you want, go mess mummy's thing\"
i didnt want to kick up a big fuss to put DH in a spot.
If she ever dares teaches my kids this, I am going to have a word with her in private. Don't say I didn't give face. -
janet_lee88:
she didnt dare to say it in front of me, it was my DD who came and tell me after that, MIL wasnt around at that time
First thing I'll do is tell my kids in front of her by saying that it is wrong to mess up both mummy's AND daddy's things.chloecube:
\" Daddy's things cannot mess up, if you want, go mess mummy's thing\"
i didnt want to kick up a big fuss to put DH in a spot.
If she ever dares teaches my kids this, I am going to have a word with her in private. Don't say I didn't give face.
i wont see her till next week and i find it hard to bring up the topic
in fact, i seldom get a chance to talk to her, by the time i reached home, i have to attend to kids studies, very little communication with her at all.
i really thought by having lesser contact with her will lessen the conflict, but apparently not the case
she still wants to find fault with me.
its so hard to be someone DIL in these days where women are EXPECTED to go out and work and yet have to handle the family well, worse when i have a difficult MIL staying with me.. -
Reminds me of my ILs to when my nephew told him his mum bought him this amd that..\"only your dad has the money to buy anything for you, your mum doesn't have money..\"
Although there is some truth with regards to my PRC SIL, I didn't like the way the old folks say it, esp to the boy.. .. :mad: -
auntieM:
hah, i am quite sure my MIL is capable of saying the same things if i do not hold a job. she will think i am sponging on her son.Reminds me of my ILs to when my nephew told him his mum bought him this amd that..\"only your dad has the money to buy anything for you, your mum doesn't have money..\"
Although there is some truth with regards to my PRC SIL, I didn't like the way the old folks say it, esp to the boy.. .. :mad:
why do some of the old folks so crude and insensitive with their words? -
chloecube:
Thank goodness that old one doesn't know what LV is :rotflmao: or else she will ask her son why he bought me one. All she knows is GOLD, something which I dislike. I am not working and that makes her very mad.
hah, i am quite sure my MIL is capable of saying the same things if i do not hold a job. she will think i am sponging on her son.auntieM:
Reminds me of my ILs to when my nephew told him his mum bought him this amd that..\"only your dad has the money to buy anything for you, your mum doesn't have money..\"
Although there is some truth with regards to my PRC SIL, I didn't like the way the old folks say it, esp to the boy.. .. :mad:
why do some of the old folks so crude and insensitive with their words?
Some old ones are very blunt with their words...and they know who to attack - kids. -
chloecube:
Tell you what......the more your MIL tries to sour bad relationship between yourself and DH & your children.......the more you should outrightly display your affection towards your DH & your children. Such as giving them a peck on their cheeks and hugging them alot in front of your MILs. This may shut her up. In a way telling her that none of her antics work and you are not bothered by her childish manner.DH knew abt this, he also knew i was upset over his mum.
to be honest, i had experienced too many times of my MIL's \"stunt\"
she likes to sow discords in my family, used to be with my DH, now my kids.
initially, DH and i fought many times bcos of her, she enjoys seeing both of us quarrel and i knew she is secretly smiling when DH scolded me infront of her. to me, she is sick, even my late FIL couldnt stand her nonsense.
after few yrs, DH and i came to compromise that we shall not quarrel over his mother anymore, its just not worth it. but now she target my kids, i am really upset over this.
i do not understand why she is doing all these and yet pretend to be very nice to me. i hate her for being such a hypocrite. she dislike seeing DH being nice to me, she turn jealous and think she is losing her DS to me, why cant she see it as gaining another daughter (which is me as a DIL)?
anyway, back to the topic, DH told me he will go and talk to her which i doubt he will (this is not the first time he said he will \"talk\" to her). i didnt want to talk abt MIL to him anymore, he has enough stress from his work recently, didnt want to add on his burden.
i felt that no matter what happen between the adults, kids shld not be dragged into the saga, much as i dislike my MIL, i do not bad-mouth her in front of kids, its just not rite.
DH had a talk with my kids ytd and told them what grandma said is not right
DD came and asked me this ytd nite \" why mama treat u so bad..\"
i do not know what to say.. -
laughingcat:
Ha ha....I am doing this
Tell you what......the more your MIL tries to sour bad relationship between yourself and DH & your children.......the more you should outrightly display your affection towards your DH & your children. Such as giving them a peck on their cheeks and hugging them alot in front of your MILs. This may shut her up. In a way telling her that none of her antics work and you are not bothered by her childish manner.
Once MIL went overboard & accused me of lying/framing my FIL. DH knew I was not and chided her.....MIL tear and was unhappy. Then she went round telling her other sons that DH 'pamper & spoilt' me....which was obviously untrue. Anyway, long story short....since knowing that DH will standup for me when it's serious, I have also tried not to bug him too much over MIL, basically I ignored her lah. Also, DH & my relationship improved after both made some effort and we are now more open in displaying our affection to each other...and best is, secretly I enjoy seeing that 'jealous look' on MIL
To some extent, MIL do tend to fight over attention, she can't bear to see the sons treating the wives well (not just me, I can see her also not happy to see her other sons treating the wife well)
Actually I was fortunate in a way........DH had a new team of subordinates (all aunties)...and when he joins them, he would hear them relating their own problems with their MILs. Since then, he realised my problem and became more understanding. Previously, we used to quarrel over his mom...... -
looks like i am not the only one facing MIL issues here…thks for hearing me out
i just need to pen it down …somewhere…to vent my frustration…
i really hope she can just leave me alone and stop spreading untrue messages ard.
i only want a happy family. -
Listen to this…
Now my ILs even want to come out with $$$ to employ a maid for us!! The world must be upside down!
Before (since several years back) FIL said we don’t want to have a maid, that’s our choice. So if we find it tough, it’s our choice and our problem. MIL said her maidS are all very busy and hinted that if we got no maid, don’t send kids over. If kids going over, must have maid follow over. Her maidS are all very busy so she can’t ask anyof them to come help us out too.That’s why our DC see them for about an hour a week or less these past few years.
Well, too bad. We don’t need a maid so we are not falling for this carrot. Don’t know why trying to be so "nice" lately!
Already learn from all the past experiences, once we start to be friendly and nice. They start to be BIG BULLIES again. This time, we’ll just keep the distance. No more being nice anymore. -
fifiyeo:
Your MIL very good life, have maidS to serve her. Mine here wants to enjoy having a maid's service too...someone to cook for her and do housework without paying. I have no maid, too bad for her.
Now my ILs even want to come out with $$$ to employ a maid for us!! The world must be upside down!
If kids going over, must have maid follow over. Her maidS are all very busy so she can't ask anyof them to come help us out too.That's why our DC see them for about an hour a week or less these past few years.
So your MIL wants to see the grandchildren only with maid in tow. Goodness :slapshead: don't ever fall for her trap of her paying for maid for you to use. She will make sure you owe her.
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