All About Life Without Maids

[Shoe]

Can also teach your kids to help with simple chores… Very empowering for the kds to be able to contribute to the home.

[FTWM of 2]

Thanks for all the advice about my earlier post. Just wondering if most here agree which is a better solution for me: part time maid with 2 kids in infant/ childcare or full time maid with 1 kid at grandparents and the other at childcare.


Thanks in advice.

[Shoe]

FTWM of 2:

Thanks for all the advice about my earlier post. Just wondering if most here agree which is a better solution for me: part time maid with 2 kids in infant/ childcare or full time maid with 1 kid at grandparents and the other at childcare.


Thanks in advice.

This really depends on your own needs and comfort level. So it's difficult to give advice. I chose not to have a maid because of loss of privacy. Also don't want to be dependent on the maid...

But on the other hand, if you have a small baby at home, it is really difficult to decide between parents' help+ maid or infant care. Like your hubby rightly pointed out, your child WILL fall sick. And this will likely be frequent at least in the first few months to a year. It's a given. High quality infant care is difficult to find and they fill up quite fast. I personally would prefer to keep my baby at home till he or she is old enough to go to a childcare centre... For me, I chose to move in with baby's grandparents for the first two years and move out again... But then, I am lucky that option is available to me...

[Claudine Heng]

Hi, totally agree that with a maid at home, alot of things are just \"push\" to them - even like playing with my boy **GUILTY**


Guess going to be without one now, i need to think of ways to play with my son, the activities to be planned out for him, and of course (to me) the worrying part is the eating. Dont really like eating outside, and am afraid Tiffin delivery is too salty etc, so i still decide to attempt to cook maybe 2-3 times a week.

Actually i like the fact that i dont have a maid, due to the privacy so i am biting the bullet and give it a shot to go without one for this year. Next year will be much better since my boy will go for those 3 hour school - that gives me a bit of time to myself.

Jia You everyone!!!

[KSS Koh]

It’s encouraging reading this thread and I would love to share my story.


I do everything by myself, like cooking, grocery, driving my 2 kids to school, laundry, ironing, cleaning the house/toilets, P1 preparatory work with my DD and teaching my DS reading and both on Chinese. It’s not easy but I find it very satisfying. Of course, there are testing time so mommies who screamed and feels like ‘crazy’, you’re not alone (me included).

Even when I had a maid (in fact 2 maids initially, hopping not to overwork the maid), she just have to do general cleaning. I cook all the time as I believe it’s cleaner and it’s a way to show my love for my family by cooking their favorite food in a clean and healthy way. (Pls don’t get me wrong, maids can be trained to cook healthy and clean food too. It’s just I like to cook). Since not having a maid, I’ve switched to organic food and my whole family is benefiting from it. We’re closer as a family and we do more activities together.

I’m not as lucky to have any extended family help from family as both my parents had passed on and I do not have relatives. At least with some family help, it’ll free you up for some ‘I’ time, which I try to have weekly. Like taking a walk in the nature, reading a book, or just relax by the pool. Occasionally, my DH and I would have a date night and we’ll engage a babysitter off the web (pls be careful when selecting the babysitter for your children safety. I normally take those who works as preschool teachers, a reference point in case something happen).

In a nutshell, we’re much happier without a maid and we do what we can as a family. It is also healthier from a mental prospects as I do not have constant worrying and my children will learn to be more self sufficient and independent(Some parents are good in setting boundaries for their children to share the housework chores etc, which is excellent).

So to all the mommies without maid, kudos to all of us:)

[Vevey]

FTWM of 2:

Thanks for all the advice about my earlier post. Just wondering if most here agree which is a better solution for me: part time maid with 2 kids in infant/ childcare or full time maid with 1 kid at grandparents and the other at childcare.


Thanks in advice.

Hi, just to share I hv similar arrangement as u b4 ds1 went to full day cc at 2yo.
Went thru 4 maids in 2yrs+ n my parents tried their best to be accommodating towards the maid so as to minimise problems for me. Still, it didnt work out, so I decided to b a SAHM w the help of a maid when ds2 was born (4yrs gap).
Although I gave up on maids after 2 in 19 mths, I find that it is much easier to take care of kids ourselves n let maid did cooking n housework than sending maid n 1 kid to parents house. Much more straightforward.

I sensed from ur posts that your parents dont seem v willing to take care of grandkids, so do u really want to leave more kids in their care? Frustration might b vented on the maid n it will b another round of vicious cycle.
Have a good heart to heart talk w ur parents to assess their willingness, as they had already went thru their turn of raising their own kids n it's not an easy job.
If they r willing to help, then my it will ease their load if your older gal goes to childcare.
She would b more fortunate than her classmates who need to wait for parents to pick up after work at 7 or 9pm. At least she can go back to ur parents at 5pm etc.
If u hv a maid again, do lessen her housework n ur house on weekdays, esp b4 going to ur parents' house. She is just merely an employee. How much devotion can we expect?
If u decided not to rely on parents, mayb u want to consider nanny for baby n play school for older gal n pick up by nanny after sch, if nanny is agreeable.

[jkids]

mummies...thank you for your contributions, really appreciate though i dun agree wif some of your suggestions. i hv brainedstormed all the possible options. worse come to worse juz quit my job to look after them



kss koh:
kudo to you too!

[Pen88n]

I used to have this problem of not being able to make it in time to pick my kids from childcare and student care too. What we did was to engage a babysitter / nanny. They proceed to the nanny’s place via school bus after the childcare or school. The nanny allow them to bathe and eat their dinner there. At least my kids get home-cooked nutritious food. DH and I will then pick them up after work. Usually, we try to do so before 8pm (after we have a quick dinner outside). On days when we are late, the nanny is not too choosy and will help out. Similarly, in case my kids fall ill on certain day and unable to attend school / childcare, the nanny will care for them at their place and we do not need to rush to take urgent leave.


You may want to consider this option, but you may need to pay a bit more. I do not mind as I think my kids got to have good dinner (my nanny quite generous with food and her family eats well), and I have the convenience of not rushing back from work and not having to take urgent leave as and when.

[fightingmom]

Wow ! I picked up some precious tips from the previous posts !


Something i would like to add cos i am maid-less too for the past 12 years...

Teach your child to help out in the housework like sweeping the floor, folding the clothes, making up the bed every morning, clear and wash their own dishes after meal. I will handwash DD's school uniform everyday but otherwise will ensure that the washing machine is full load then i do the laundry - save water & electricity ! Save :moneyflies: too !

Nearer to exams, i don't cook but go for catering / dabao (after listening to a friend's advice) so that i can concentrate on supervising DD to revise and not so stressful.

On top of that, having a understanding and cooperative spouse helps ... yes, DH chips in the housework if it overwhelms me.

[jkids]

pen88n:

this is my ideal option too. am still looking for a nanny. being asking ard my neigborhood area/put flyers and thro agency. so far, the agency told me they only have nannies who can come to my house, not the other way round. can u share where u get yr nanny fr? and d rate u pay her for the service?