How to care for someone with cancer?

[glendt]

Hi,


I have a close friend who has cancer and it is a stage 2b cancer. She has to undergo chemo and has lost her hair. She is rather depressed I have been visiting her but I am not sure what else I can do.

Anyone knows of any support groups of cancer patients that are good? Or anyone has any advice on what else I can do. I feel helpless seeing her like that. Her kids are still very young- 2 and 5 years old. Her husband is supportive but he still needs to travel for work. Am afraid she does not have the fighting spirit to go on.

[cherrygal]

My friend had stage 2 cancer too and what I did was to pray with her. Ask your friend if she would like to pray about it and accompany her. She should rally her family, eg. her parents and siblings, to help her when her hubby needs to work. This is a time for strong family support. Frankly, as just a friend, we can’t do much except to provide a listening ear and spiritual support. Sometimes we must also know when to back off especially if she doesn’t want to talk about it.


Get her to speak to other women who have survived this. My friend spoke to her husband’s colleague’s wife who is a survivor and she drew strength from that. If your fren doesn’t know anyone, she can approach the Cancer Society. I think they have support groups.

My friend is now in remission and is OK so far. Thank God.

[angell]

Hi,

You hv PM

[glendt]

cherrygal:

My friend had stage 2 cancer too and what I did was to pray with her. Ask your friend if she would like to pray about it and accompany her. She should rally her family, eg. her parents and siblings, to help her when her hubby needs to work. This is a time for strong family support. Frankly, as just a friend, we can't do much except to provide a listening ear and spiritual support. Sometimes we must also know when to back off especially if she doesn't want to talk about it.


Get her to speak to other women who have survived this. My friend spoke to her husband's colleague's wife who is a survivor and she drew strength from that. If your fren doesn't know anyone, she can approach the Cancer Society. I think they have support groups.

My friend is now in remission and is OK so far. Thank God.

I would like my friend to go for some support group but she is quite resistant to talking to outsiders. Her family is in another country and her in-laws are taking care of her but I think she has no one to pour out how she feels to on a regular basis.

May I know if your friend had the cancer spread to her lymph nodes? My friend has many of her lymph nodes removed and she has water retention and bouts of vomiting. All these add up to her feeling low. I would like to tell her these stories of people who survived to booster her confidence.

[glendt]

angell:

Hi,

You hv PM

I have replied you, thank you very much.

[Han Seo]

I think you can ask her gently how you can help. I also have a good friend who has ovarian cancer. She has asked for help in home cooked meals so I try my best to help her out in this area. Another friend has very early stage breast cancer. She has very strong family support. She declined any offer of help. So I told her to let me know if there is anything I can help.

[cherrygal]

glendt:

May I know if your friend had the cancer spread to her lymph nodes? My friend has many of her lymph nodes removed and she has water retention and bouts of vomiting. All these add up to her feeling low. I would like to tell her these stories of people who survived to booster her confidence.

Yup, my fren had Lymphoma, like Lee Hsien Loong. She had to go for Chemo then Radiotherapy. She shaved off her hair and wore a wig. Thank God she was quite positive but her hubby was a nervous wreck and blamed himself for not taking good care of her. Many times, it's the caregivers getting the stress coz they worry. Her mom also moved in with her and made organic juice every morning and fed her well. She also took No Pay Leave for half a year to go for treatment and recuperate.

She had 3 beautiful children a few years after this brush with cancer. She's living happily like everyone else now, so much so that her hubby has forgotten her condition and \"bullies\" her now and then... hahaha

[glendt]

Thank you everyone, I feel much better after reading your post, my friend has stage 3 cancer, she did not want us to worry and told us it was stage 2 and that was the early

diagnosis of the doctor before she went for surgery.

I think my friend does not have that strong family support but thankfully her husband is asking for a position in his company to stay in Singapore which would help a lot.

I will share with my friend on how your friends are doing well and coping…I think she needs to hear that more. She is not a very positive person and needs a lot of talking to to get her to
fight.

[cherrygal]

If your fren has kids, that is reason enough for her to fight on. She won’t want them to grow up without a mother rite? And hope she doesn’t get even more upset reading news like Emma Yong’s death from Stage 4 cancer.

[glendt]

Yes that is one reason that she still tries to fight on…I called her after reading about Emma Yong and she was affected but not badly. I think she has her good days and her bad days and thankfully when she read about Emma Yong, it was on her good day.