In-law problems?
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janet_lee88:
yep, when we went overseas holidays, we used to buy all kinds gifts for them unique keychains, good quality t-shirts specially for them, normal tidbits, branded chocolates, branded bags/wallets .....etc. Everyone in that family , all has gifts from us whenever we went holiday. But we soon realised when they went overseas = once i was given a small tiny bookmark(probably a free gift) by the younger SIL and the old folks usually passed us weird tibits (they cant finish or doesnt enjoy) and biscuits months after they return from their trip. The tidbits usually end up in my bin coz we dare not eat them. Most of time theres no gift for us. So we stopped buying them gifts also after realised the \"hard facts\". Worse, the duo sister somemore will tell me that they have bought full luggages of pretty clothing but has never get me any piece for once. So i stopped buying them any gifts after that or just passed some cheap tidbits for the old folks .
Sometimes it looks as though we expect, but it's more like the thought we expect from them FOR the grand kids. When the paternal grandparents went to US last year for 3 months, they didn't even get anything for the kids, not even sweets or souvenir. Believe my hubby gave them some ang pao before he sent them to airport. It's ok, I am not desperate, just disappointed. .ningning:
She did not get any gift for my DD. My hubby said he is very disappointed with his mum , is not that he care for any gift she buy for our DD, is the thought that she is missing. A distant cousin has the thought of giving a small gift to our DD but her own paternal grandma chose not to buy her any gift.
Come to recall, i remember that when we married and moved to our new house, the duo sister gave us a bedsheet set that was of very old , torn packaging as gift (pricetag gluestain has melted, blackened and already stick dirt on it) . Only after years, My hubby finally admitted and told me, he saw that bedsheet package has been in their storeroom for years! He was surprised then to received it as gift from his sisters. but dare not tell me.
i was zero surprised to know that evil grandma did not get my DD any gift but was appalled that she has the nerve to pass the gift from my hubby 's prc cousin to my DD whereas she herself did not have any gift for my DD. I knew her point of doing so. Does it makes her happier? perhaps.
I used to feel sorry for my DD that she has very little contact with her paternal parents. No longer i feel so now. Those ppl in that house, is a negative force in my family, I need to purge them out of our lives. -
kooky83:
Yes. Before marriage, my hubby already have differences with his parents. Thank god not staying together, i would have gotten sicked with depression with that four evils appearing physically in my daily life!!
both your hubby and his mum are not in good terms? luckily you alll are not staying tgtningning:
Hi! everyone, i have been kept busy for the past few months on my humble business and have not log in for a while.
But recently my hubby came home oneday and told me that his mum had returned from a PRC holiday (they only goes china for holiday, so boring) and passed him a teddy bear that she said is a gift for my DD from my hubby's prc cousin(my FIL is born in PRC but came to singapore in his early years before 1965). She did not get any gift for my DD. My hubby said he is very disappointed with his mum , is not that he care for any gift she buy for our DD, is the thought that is missing. A distant cousin has the thought of giving a small gift to our DD but her own paternal grandma chose not to buy her any gift. So he had purposely left that teddy bear on his parents office table before he left their office. he did not want to bring the fur toy home. I kept silent upon hearing this.
MY DD NEED NOT TO HAVE SUCH A EVIL WOMAN AS HER GRANDMA. PUI.... -
If I had to stay with his parents and those 2 spoilt rotten siblings of his, i would have depression. Our courtship was hell, bcos the old one kept brain-washing him. His idiotic younger sister behaved as though she is HIS mother, bossing him around.
The way his mother brought them up leaves one wondering what is going on in her brain. Sons have to be home by certain time, but daughter can be out gallivanting till wee hours of the morning. I asked hubby if his mother was afraid her sons being raped? Amazing :shock:
Even now, that sister of his dictates him what to do :mad: don't try me, I will tell her to fly kite. -
janet_lee88:
If I had to stay with his parents and those 2 spoilt rotten siblings of his, i would have depression. Our courtship was hell, bcos the old one kept brain-washing him. His idiotic younger sister behaved as though she is HIS mother, bossing him around.
The way his mother brought them up leaves one wondering what is going on in her brain. Sons have to be home by certain time, but daughter can be out gallivanting till wee hours of the morning. I asked hubby if his mother was afraid her sons being raped? Amazing :shock:
Even now, that sister of his dictates him what to do :mad: don't try me, I will tell her to fly kite.
yes u are right that ur SIL should not dictates others what to do. Being in the same family does not give ones right to tell others in the same family what to do.
yep, mine too. yes, yes my hubby's younger single sister also behaved like she is the mother role in the family. OMG, her parents so so proud that she behave like shes the QUEEN in that family. Newly wed then, she also tried very hard to tell me what to do (worse all are stupid time wasting tasks) but i ignored her . She even purposely do so in the presence of her parents to pressure me to succumb to her but i made up excuses so she no choice but back off. So that also starts their nasty acts on me. Coz the old folks feel if i did not listen to her means that i do not respect them too. What right she has to control my life? even my own parents dun control my life like that.
My MIL keep telling her son to beware of \"those\" around him may cheat his money, i know \"those\" includes me also. She is always so doubtful on all her son's choice from work to even marrying me is consider a mistake. She thought her son is \"IQ zero\" to my amusement. But she nvr tell her married daughter to beware of her hubby, though they provided everything for her wedding, from flat, renovation, hoildays, car and big salary after she gave birth. This couple did not need to spend a single cent out from their own pocket for their daily needs. we on the otherhand, need to service our house loan, car loan, renovation, everything everything everything all we pay from our own pocket. I suspect all these is becoz PILS feel that leaving their son with little money to save means i cannot cheat money from their son lorr. CRAZY. :mad: Then should have tell their son to stay single throughout his life. So dun have to worry sick everyday that \"money gone to wrong hand liao\".
I always thought being filial to parents is very important and a must for all children. But NO not that anymore after married to my hubby, my definition about \"filial level\" changed. Nowadays, if any old folks i know, tell me how unfilial their child is, i have reservations to condemn together with them that their offspring is at wrong. -
Hi ningning,
This sister of his is no angel to begin with. If i were as cheap as her, I don’t think I would be able to gain my hubby’s respect. She stays out all night but told my hubby to go home as it was late.
The old one told me to continue working after getting married so that her precious son will not have to support me, and give her more allowance. In her brain, the only thing in it is MONEY. It took me a long time to change hubby’s mindset that money isn’t everything. Haven’t quite succeeded but at least much better now. -
The thing I simply can't stand about my IL is table manner. They simply eat like hungry ghosts and till today, I feel so uncomfortable eating with them. If can avoid, I try to avoid but sometimes really \"Bo bian\"! When a certain dish is nice, they will just take as much as possible for their kids and themselves, never think of others in the table. I am always slow so always ended up eating left overs. Why am i slow? Thats because i also need to SNATCH for my 2 kids! It's really \"xi bei stress\" to eat with them. The most embarrassing moment was actually at their grandma's wake. At dinner time, my SILs simply filled up their plates with mountain of crayfish and tiger prawns. Can you imagine it was a funeral yet they were eating like yummy buffet at the hotel.
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Precious2.lee:
The thing I simply can't stand about my IL is table manner. They simply eat like hungry ghosts and till today, I feel so uncomfortable eating with them. If can avoid, I try to avoid but sometimes really \"Bo bian\"!
Just this year for CNY, we ate KFC. Old one said she lost her wok, so cannot cook. My SIL told me old one better not cook since her cooking isn't nice. So ordered in KFC lor. Lucky at home, or else so embarrassing to see her eat.
Enjoying food is one thing, but it's like never eaten before. -
janet_lee88:
Exactly, they eat like never eaten before or have not eaten for a month! Moreover, my SIL is a super rice tai-tai. However, the moment she eats, alas, the image is all gone. Actually, I do not my kids to eat with them, it's really very bad influence. Imagine next time when they grow up and eat like this, :stupid: !Precious2.lee:
The thing I simply can't stand about my IL is table manner. They simply eat like hungry ghosts and till today, I feel so uncomfortable eating with them. If can avoid, I try to avoid but sometimes really \"Bo bian\"!
Just this year for CNY, we ate KFC. Old one said she lost her wok, so cannot cook. My SIL told me old one better not cook since her cooking isn't nice. So ordered in KFC lor. Lucky at home, or else so embarrassing to see her eat.
Enjoying food is one thing, but it's like never eaten before. -
Precious2.lee:
Exactly, they eat like never eaten before or have not eaten for a month! Moreover, my SIL is a super rice tai-tai. However, the moment she eats, alas, the image is all gone. Actually, I do not my kids to eat with them, it's really very bad influence. Imagine next time when they grow up and eat like this, :stupid: ![/quote]Ha! Tell me about it :rant:janet_lee88:
[quote=\"Precious2.lee\"]The thing I simply can't stand about my IL is table manner. They simply eat like hungry ghosts and till today, I feel so uncomfortable eating with them. If can avoid, I try to avoid but sometimes really \"Bo bian\"!
Just this year for CNY, we ate KFC. Old one said she lost her wok, so cannot cook. My SIL told me old one better not cook since her cooking isn't nice. So ordered in KFC lor. Lucky at home, or else so embarrassing to see her eat.
Enjoying food is one thing, but it's like never eaten before.
Not just the manners, hygiene lacking too.
When they are sick, they still use their cutlery to dig/share food. Told them off repeatedly but still same. Also they will dip into chili sauce/soy sauce & instead of using new one for others, add onto same saucer for those who join later. MIL also kept those dipped & soaked chilli padi overnight by her other sons for DH - refused to waste. Well, i have managed to persuade DH to allow me to dispose once overnight. MIL also sneeze with mouth open at the dishes & will use her bare hands to touch the food. -
janet_lee88:
Whats is wrong with these SILS?? My hubby's sister the one that i mentioned her parents pay everything for her family to her hubby's business (PILS gave her big sums to help her hubby set up a business which is exactly the same trade as them!!), she has the cheek to scold her brother \"cheapskate\" when he merely claimed some official expenses he has paid on behalf of the business!! :shock: She is totally not embarassed that if not for her parents, she cannot even set up her family so soon and keep havin babies coz her pay salary increase whenever she has a newborn mah unlike us, think if we have ten kids also no increment. Even haircut , she also claimed from business.!! I hate it most is that, she will tell her parents that the business has to cut cost on this and that(at one point so many staff leave coz low salary) and every penny spent on business even on stationary to toilet papers have to be cautious. so wow, her parents is so so happy to think she is so filial knows how to save all the money for them, but on the otherhand she and her whole clan of her hubby's family live on her parents business. Pretend to save but actually spend big on her own families, so her own MIL will love her and she will have the full respect from her hubby's whole clan. My hubby is so sick of her coz not only her hubby is their business competitor but she also leak business info to him and managed to get hold of their good customers. SHES SO DESPICABLE YET PILS STILL THINK SHE IS VERY FILIAL!!!Hi ningning,
This sister of his is no angel to begin with. If i were as cheap as her, I don't think I would be able to gain my hubby's respect. She stays out all night but told my hubby to go home as it was late.
The old one told me to continue working after getting married so that her precious son will not have to support me, and give her more allowance. In her brain, the only thing in it is MONEY. It took me a long time to change hubby's mindset that money isn't everything. Haven't quite succeeded but at least much better now.
Yes same, my PILS and SILS their entire life and concern only evolved around on MONEY. But mine is so much so much worse and ugly .Money is so important to them that I never see them show their sympathy towards the weak and poor. They even tried left their store pet dog to painfully slowly bled to death for days at a corner at their store after the pet met a serious accident. I had brought the pet to vet and home after i learnt its poor fate through my hubby and nursed her throughout the two years before the vet put her to sleep. What i saw happend on their pet, it is wake up call for me for then, I will share the same fate too, if oneday i happened to be seriously sick and cannot contribute to their business.
I had since left their business. If my DD was close to them what kind of values they would have cultivate on her??
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