Alex Ong, 25, pushes elderly lady off the bus

[schweppes]

fightingmom:

Thank you, schweppes for sharing the above regarding asd child. With such knowledge, I agree that compassion and understanding to the child and his parents goes a long way for them.

Thanks fightingmom. Glad u found the info useful.

[verykiasu2010]

schweppes:

When an asd child is perceived to \"misbehave\" in public - for example, extreme meltdowns or temper tantrums, it's not necessarily a case of poor parenting or the child being rude and ill-mannered.


There are logical and possible reasons to the kid's meltdown. As every asd child is different, it can be a case of over or under sensory overload. In other words, the child is over stimulated (or sometimes under stimulated). Again, it varies from child to child.

Over stimulation can come in various forms. Too bright florescent lights that hurt the eyes, sounds that hurt the ears, clothes that feel uncomfortable on their skin, etc. Because the child feels uncomfortable, it may result in him having a meltdown - because that's the only way he can communicate his discomfort.

Some asd child may have a very heightened or acute sense of one of the five senses. Again, every child is different.

For example, if the child is hyper-sensitive to sounds - he will usually cover the ears to certain sounds. So, what may be pleasant music or some upbeat tempo playing at the mall, may actually hurt the child's sense of hearing. In other words, the child feels pain just listening to the music that is played over the speaker.

But for another asd child, it may not be music but the sound of a bus bell. So, the mother of this particular child will avoid taking buses if possible, because every time the bus bell rings, the child covers his ears.

Another asd child may be sensitive to bright lights or flash bulbs. So this child hates his picture taken - especially if a flash bulb is used. My friend never understood why her child hates the flash bulb. When the child was a little older and able to communicate, he likened the flash bulb to someone using a knife and piercing his eyes. I know, it sounds gory and graphic. But it helps to explain why he disliked having his picture taken. It's not an exaggeration on the child's part. But it helps to explain the extreme pain the child feels in his eyes. It's no wonder that the child has a meltdown every time it was picture taking time. Who are we to blame the child for behaving as such. Imagine it's us having someone stabbing a knife into our eyes.

At the other end, there are kids who are under-sensitive. In other words, the senses are not as acute. So, a child who has an under-sensitive olfactory sense, will not cringe or hold his breath if he's near the garbage collector clearing the trash. That's probably because he can't really smell very well.

I hope the above explains why some asd kids behave they do. It's not due to poor parenting or plain bad behavior on the child's part. It's a physiological and neurological problem. The asd child did not ask to be born this way. And on the same note, it's not as if the parents did something bad or ate something wrong during the gestation period.

But being diagnosed with asd is NOT a death sentence. There is greater awareness and better resources available now. But still not enough!! Can definitely be made better and more affordable. With early intervention, most asd kids learn to manage their emotions and behavior. The high functioning ones go on to lead normal lives.

That's why public awareness and support is important. A little compassion goes a long way.

now I think I am autistic because I can't stand noise

[kiddo]

verykiasu2010:

schweppes:

When an asd child is perceived to \"misbehave\" in public - for example, extreme meltdowns or temper tantrums, it's not necessarily a case of poor parenting or the child being rude and ill-mannered.

now I think I am autistic because I can't stand noise

:razz: :razz: :razz: :cheeky:

[phtthp]

whatever it is - even if he's truly autistic,

still must educate him that it is wrong to push elderly folks.

Old folks' bones are brittle.
There is high risk that when elderly fall down that flight of steps from the bus, it may cause injury like :-
- they can't walk up straight in future because their spine / leg may be injured,
- or worse cause elderly to be wheel chair bound for life, after that fall.
Then who's going to look after them, sitting on wheel chair for the rest of their live ?

consider different scenario :-

a) what if the victim is our own mother - being pushed down the bus like that, end up hospitalized due to the fall & subsequently unable to walk upright properly, but with a curved spine ?

b) what if the victim is his own mother - being pushed down by another bully who repeated exactly the same action as what he did ?

c) what if the victim is we ourselves one day, when we grow old, frail, our bones density decrease due to aging & our hair turn white / grey ?

No matter what happen, the Truth is:-
it is still WRONG to push old people down the bus.

The consequences are dangerous & disastrous, should anything go wrong.
Be it happening to someone else mother, to our own mother, or to his mother, or even to ourselves one day when we grow old. All of us will grow old eventually.

[phtthp]

verykiasu2010:

now I think I am autistic because I can't stand noise

autistic or not, a lot of us also can't stand noise.
esp. when those horrible non stop drilling sound goes on and on.
example:-

i) during lift upgrading, construction workers use that drilling machine to hack up the floor, to make way for the new lift.

ii) during house renovation, people hammer nail into wall, or use drilling machine to hack up floor tiles.

iii) piling of construction work going on at MRT site, to dig a hole deep into the tunnel for MRT train, etc.

Yes, agree that people need to be sympathetic towards autistic kids. Because they did not choose to be born this way.

[laughingcat]

Even if he is truly austistic and if the society is compassionate and well informed to such, still it is wrong to push the old lady down. The parents are not totally at fault and neither is Alex and the old lady as well. BUT as a parents, one should do something. Thank goodness the old lady is NOT dead. I am not cursing her yeah. BUT what if she is dead because of his action, do you think her family can be compassionate to such?


Whatever it is, I do hope he and his family do something before it got worse. His action is still wrong.

[aurorin]

Look at what a little understanding can do…


Thanks to those who kindly explained about what is autism and how ASD can affect one’s behavior, reactions now are more tempered. Yes, the action of the individual is wrong because he can cause grievious hurt, even if unintentional (impulse control and emotional regulation are some of the toughest thing for an individual with ASD) but now, pple thinks Alex should get some help or intervention to help him manage those issues instead of calling for his blood.
.
.
.

This post is not to refute the fact that Alex is wrong… But I am quite concern how often people get riled up over pieces of information posted up in the social media and start to "advocate" for some form of social justice (the comments were no less violent than the act itself sometimes) without even attempting to look or consider other factors in the situation. People seems to become very judgemental and easy access to any information on the Internet means anyone can be Judge Judy…

I’ve seen terrible comments made about Alex and his parents when the video came out, and then subsequent disdain and disbelief that Alex is diagnosed with ASD (must be an excuse)… How about stopping for a minute and consider that that is actually true… (in fact those very traits that people deride him of: his scarf, his "ridiculous" attempt at defending himself, his inability to see how what he say makes him even more despicable, points to a socially awkward individual with limited social understanding and interaction skills… The hallmark of individuals with a condition know as Autism Spectrum Disorder)… Will the people who made those comments now feel necessary to perhaps frame their comments in a different way?

I would like to believe that Singaporeans are basically gracious and understanding people… After all, I often hear how other immigrants from certain countries have problems fitting in to SG because they are different from Singaporeans in these aspects… And if everyone and anyone, could just take a moment to allow for more information to present itself before reacting emotionally (thereby inciting further emotional responses - esp towards the people involved), perhaps there can be less judging and more helping.

Surely, in life, we can afford to take time in order to be kinder and more gracious to those around us…

[LOLMum]

aurorin:

Look at what a little understanding can do....


Thanks to those who kindly explained about what is autism and how ASD can affect one's behavior, reactions now are more tempered. Yes, the action of the individual is wrong because he can cause grievious hurt, even if unintentional (impulse control and emotional regulation are some of the toughest thing for an individual with ASD) but now, pple thinks Alex should get some help or intervention to help him manage those issues instead of calling for his blood.

This post is not to refute the fact that Alex is wrong.. But I am quite concern how often people get riled up over pieces of information posted up in the social media and start to \"advocate\" for some form of social justice (the comments were no less violent than the act itself sometimes) without even attempting to look or consider other factors in the situation. People seems to become very judgemental and easy access to any information on the Internet means anyone can be Judge Judy...

I've seen terrible comments made about Alex and his parents when the video came out, and then subsequent disdain and disbelief that Alex is diagnosed with ASD (must be an excuse)... How about stopping for a minute and consider that that is actually true... (in fact those very traits that people deride him of: his scarf, his \"ridiculous\" attempt at defending himself, his inability to see how what he say makes him even more despicable, points to a socially awkward individual with limited social understanding and interaction skills.... The hallmark of individuals with a condition know as Autism Spectrum Disorder).... Will the people who made those comments now feel necessary to perhaps frame their comments in a different way?

I would like to believe that Singaporeans are basically gracious and understanding people... After all, I often hear how other immigrants from certain countries have problems fitting in to SG because they are different from Singaporeans in these aspects... And if everyone and anyone, could just take a moment to allow for more information to present itself before reacting emotionally (thereby inciting further emotional responses - esp towards the people involved), perhaps there can be less judging and more helping.

Surely, in life, we can afford to take time in order to be kinder and more gracious to those around us...

:goodpost:

[iRabbit]

Thanks schweppes for taking the effort to explain to us the issues faced by ASD sufferers. I am now at least able to understand their behaviour better.


Based on the good English posted by this AO guy - he can write better than me, doesn’t look like someone with only 3 'O’s - can I say that ASD doesn’t interfere with the intellectual ability of a person; only the behavoral aspect is impacted?

[aurorin]

FQW:

Thanks schweppes for taking the effort to explain to us the issues faced by ASD sufferers. I am now at least able to understand their behaviour better.


Based on the good English posted by this AO guy - he can write better than me, doesn't look like someone with only 3 'O's - can I say that ASD doesn't interfere with the intellectual ability of a person; only the behavoral aspect is impacted?

Perhaps I can share some info on ASD...

As ASD covers a spectrum, there are those who are mildly affected as well as those who are more severe. Often ASD presents co-morbidly with some form of intellectual disability but not all individuals with ASD are intellectually challenged. There are very high functioning individuals with average or above average, even superior IQ, and have less impaired receptive and expressive language skills. A term associated to this form of ASD is Aspergers syndrome but some will argue that we shouldn't put Aspergers under the autism umbrella. Another form of ASD which gets a lot of media attention are the autistic savants, individuals highly impaired by their Autism but have remarkable splinter skills in particular areas (e.g. Drawing, music, numbers, computing etc)...

Purely because ASD is such a broad spectrum, and intellectual impairment has many different degrees, when u combine the two, there is a myriad of presentations for people who are diagnosed with Autism. It makes diagnosis and intervention more complex and require expertise and experience to do that... That said, we do understand Autism in terms of certain traits and characteristics and their unique learning style to develop fairly successful intervention programs across the spectrum which needs to be individualized. In the field, the metaphor for Autism is being akin to a form of \"culture\" that requires understanding rather than seeing is as an \"illness\"....

Hope that provide more info for those who are interested...