Is okay say no to Ipad/Iphone?
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My kids are 8 & 10 years old. And they are still not allowed to watch TV or play psp/ iphone games on a regular basis. Usually dh & I would watch TV in the room when one of them is playing piano in the hall while the other is reading in another room.
I flatly refused to buy an ipad for them. The only opportunity they get to play ipad games is when we’re out shopping and they chance upon nubox shops. And they are not allowed to play with their daddy’s iphone at home. -
Yah, my in-laws thought my kids were deprived and even offered to buy them an ipad when she saw her other daughter-in-law whip out the ipad for her 2yo son.
DH and I immediately said no thanks… hahaha…
We dun mind TV - educational programmes - but the ipad, iphone, xbox, online games etc are a no-no to us coz they can cause addiction. -
cherrygal:
I bought a Samsung Galaxy tab to help my kids with homework when after school, they go to grandparents place which have no internet.Yah, my in-laws thought my kids were deprived and even offered to buy them an ipad when she saw her other daughter-in-law whip out the ipad for her 2yo son.
DH and I immediately said no thanks... hahaha...
We dun mind TV - educational programmes - but the ipad, iphone, xbox, online games etc are a no-no to us coz they can cause addiction.
Instead, become preoccupied with playing games and his results dropped drastically. So angry, I deleted all the games, even on his handphone. I also do not leave tablet pc at home when I go to work now.
Luckily, his results picked up again.
My kids also asked for iPhone and said it is so good, blah blah blah! I just refused to listen to him and tell him that he don't need one. Told him that dad and mom also don't have and it is not a necessity. A normal phone is good enough. -
Hi slmkhoo
Thanks for sharing that this deprivation works. I do that to my kid and he is in lower pri now so it is definitely a struggle. Sometimes I wonder if the deprivation will be ok coz some pple think that the more you deprive, the more they may get addicted when they are older and out of our control. So I am glad your example worked. -
I believe in cultivating self-control. Gadgets in themselves are not bad. Whether the gadget is TV, computers, ipad, iphone or whatever. It’s about how much time you spend on these stuff.
I prefer to teach my kids about limiting their exposure to any kinds of gadgets. One day, our kids will stop asking us for permission to do things. When that time comes, I hope the training they have received early on about setting self-limits will kick in and they know what’s reasonable amount of time to spend on things that are pleasurable and to discern when they have have spent too much time on pleasurable things that take you away from things that are important.
Too much deprivation can cause a child to crave and long for it. I won’t be able to stop my child’s friends from giving my child the exposure. Hence I prefer that my children are exposed to gadgets under my watchful eye.
I’ve seen my friends kids who are overly deprived and they go overboard or try to do things secretly when they are under too strict controls. When the parents find out, they realize the child has been too suppressed.
For eg, my kids get 30mins TV each day but 45 mins of playground where they get physical activity. They only get to play ipad or phone games on weekends and that’s also limited to 30mins. They only get to play Wii during the June holidays and during that time, it’s also limited to 45mins per session 2-3 times a week.
All my gadgets are within easy reach, no need for lock and key but my children do not touch them even when I’m not at home. I’ve trained them to always ask for permission if they want to play the computer or ipad. I’m glad to say after the early years of training, my kids are aware of what the limitations are. They put on the Timer when they are watching TV or using gadgets and switch off once the timer is off. Siblings mutually monitor each other. When one kid breaks the rule, they report to me. Kids get punished and they learn their lesson.
I’ve shown them newspaper articles about teenage cyber addictions that’s led to death and talked to them many times about the importance of self-discipline whether it’s food, games or whatever. It’s about moderation and choosing your limits. I talk about trust too. The more they demonstrate they are able to follow the limits, the more freedom they will be given. -
Oops I feel like I’m one those bad moms who keep my dd occupied with gadgets especially when driving or at big dinner group when adults are more into the dinner conversations.
Sometimes they serve as a distraction when we mummys need free hands, but too much distraction isn’t surely a good thing. Pros and cons I guess. -
beanbear:
I like yr post.I believe in cultivating self-control. Gadgets in themselves are not bad. Whether the gadget is TV, computers, ipad, iphone or whatever. It's about how much time you spend on these stuff.
I prefer to teach my kids about limiting their exposure to any kinds of gadgets. One day, our kids will stop asking us for permission to do things. When that time comes, I hope the training they have received early on about setting self-limits will kick in and they know what's reasonable amount of time to spend on things that are pleasurable and to discern when they have have spent too much time on pleasurable things that take you away from things that are important.
Too much deprivation can cause a child to crave and long for it. I won't be able to stop my child's friends from giving my child the exposure. Hence I prefer that my children are exposed to gadgets under my watchful eye.
I've seen my friends kids who are overly deprived and they go overboard or try to do things secretly when they are under too strict controls. When the parents find out, they realize the child has been too suppressed.
For eg, my kids get 30mins TV each day but 45 mins of playground where they get physical activity. They only get to play ipad or phone games on weekends and that's also limited to 30mins. They only get to play Wii during the June holidays and during that time, it's also limited to 45mins per session 2-3 times a week.
All my gadgets are within easy reach, no need for lock and key but my children do not touch them even when I'm not at home. I've trained them to always ask for permission if they want to play the computer or ipad. I'm glad to say after the early years of training, my kids are aware of what the limitations are. They put on the Timer when they are watching TV or using gadgets and switch off once the timer is off. Siblings mutually monitor each other. When one kid breaks the rule, they report to me. Kids get punished and they learn their lesson.
I've shown them newspaper articles about teenage cyber addictions that's led to death and talked to them many times about the importance of self-discipline whether it's food, games or whatever. It's about moderation and choosing your limits. I talk about trust too. The more they demonstrate they are able to follow the limits, the more freedom they will be given.
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Hi bean bear
I like your post. May I know how old are yr kids? Do you find them asking to play more often than once a week as they grow older? My worry is that when they are older, they may slowly play more often and became an addiction given that such games can be very addictive.
My ds1 is good at following the limits I set and will stop when the time is up. My ds2 , 6 yr old, on the other hand cannot control himself. During school days , they don’t play any computer games excep when we are at friends house or when we hv friends over. They played only during school hol. Ds1 has started to ask to play more frequently such as during school days since p4. Ds2 will ask to play a few times each week so I let him play some educational stuff on CDROM. -
beanbear:
I believe in cultivating self-control. Gadgets in themselves are not bad. Whether the gadget is TV, computers, ipad, iphone or whatever. It's about how much time you spend on these stuff.
I prefer to teach my kids about limiting their exposure to any kinds of gadgets. One day, our kids will stop asking us for permission to do things. When that time comes, I hope the training they have received early on about setting self-limits will kick in and they know what's reasonable amount of time to spend on things that are pleasurable and to discern when they have have spent too much time on pleasurable things that take you away from things that are important.
Too much deprivation can cause a child to crave and long for it. I won't be able to stop my child's friends from giving my child the exposure. Hence I prefer that my children are exposed to gadgets under my watchful eye.
I've seen my friends kids who are overly deprived and they go overboard or try to do things secretly when they are under too strict controls. When the parents find out, they realize the child has been too suppressed.
For eg, my kids get 30mins TV each day but 45 mins of playground where they get physical activity. They only get to play ipad or phone games on weekends and that's also limited to 30mins. They only get to play Wii during the June holidays and during that time, it's also limited to 45mins per session 2-3 times a week.
All my gadgets are within easy reach, no need for lock and key but my children do not touch them even when I'm not at home. I've trained them to always ask for permission if they want to play the computer or ipad. I'm glad to say after the early years of training, my kids are aware of what the limitations are. They put on the Timer when they are watching TV or using gadgets and switch off once the timer is off. Siblings mutually monitor each other. When one kid breaks the rule, they report to me. Kids get punished and they learn their lesson.
I've shown them newspaper articles about teenage cyber addictions that's led to death and talked to them many times about the importance of self-discipline whether it's food, games or whatever. It's about moderation and choosing your limits. I talk about trust too. The more they demonstrate they are able to follow the limits, the more freedom they will be given.
:goodpost:
For my dd, she started out using a normal Pre-paid card phone (no camera, no Internet access) in P4. I told her once she \"earned\" our trust not to misuse the phone , i.e to text or call friends to chit-chat, I'll \"upgrade\" her phone to a better one.
Now she has an iPhone - purely for communicating with me in case she needs to stay back in school for projects. She uses her phone to check words from online dictionary and project work stuff. If she wants to download games to play - she asks for permission first.
I feel that in this technology age, they will be in contact with such gadgets ... Teaching them self control is a better way than depriving them totally. -
beanbear:
:goodpost: :hi5:I believe in cultivating self-control. Gadgets in themselves are not bad. Whether the gadget is TV, computers, ipad, iphone or whatever. It's about how much time you spend on these stuff.
I prefer to teach my kids about limiting their exposure to any kinds of gadgets. One day, our kids will stop asking us for permission to do things. When that time comes, I hope the training they have received early on about setting self-limits will kick in and they know what's reasonable amount of time to spend on things that are pleasurable and to discern when they have have spent too much time on pleasurable things that take you away from things that are important.
Too much deprivation can cause a child to crave and long for it. I won't be able to stop my child's friends from giving my child the exposure. Hence I prefer that my children are exposed to gadgets under my watchful eye.
I've seen my friends kids who are overly deprived and they go overboard or try to do things secretly when they are under too strict controls. When the parents find out, they realize the child has been too suppressed.
For eg, my kids get 30mins TV each day but 45 mins of playground where they get physical activity. They only get to play ipad or phone games on weekends and that's also limited to 30mins. They only get to play Wii during the June holidays and during that time, it's also limited to 45mins per session 2-3 times a week.
All my gadgets are within easy reach, no need for lock and key but my children do not touch them even when I'm not at home. I've trained them to always ask for permission if they want to play the computer or ipad. I'm glad to say after the early years of training, my kids are aware of what the limitations are. They put on the Timer when they are watching TV or using gadgets and switch off once the timer is off. Siblings mutually monitor each other. When one kid breaks the rule, they report to me. Kids get punished and they learn their lesson.
I've shown them newspaper articles about teenage cyber addictions that's led to death and talked to them many times about the importance of self-discipline whether it's food, games or whatever. It's about moderation and choosing your limits. I talk about trust too. The more they demonstrate they are able to follow the limits, the more freedom they will be given.
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