Help! My 11 yo Daughter Back in Diapers..

[BlueBells]

Please take her to a urologist for further diagnosis. You can probably get referals from GPs or polyclinics.

[HiDaddy]

Hi guys,


Thanks for the help and support. Will remind DD to go toilet as frequently as possible. I’ll still keep her in pullup for the day just in case. Let the medicine do its work.

Another question, DD’s P5 adventure camp is coming up. Can she be exempted from the camp because of her condition? Or would you encourage her to go for the camp? She’s quite eager to attend leh! But dont’t know what would be the best choice for her.

[BlueBells]

Generally, I would encourage all children to take part in school camps and exchange programs.


However, since your child has a little challenge here, the way I would do it would be to sit down and discuss how she can handle the situation if her peers find out she is on diapers, leave some thoughts open and let her come to a decision. Whatever is her decision, stand by her and respect it.

She is 11, a good time to start involving her in some small decision making that might impact / affect her.

[HiDaddy]

BlueBells:

Generally, I would encourage all children to take part in school camps and exchange programs.


However, since your child has a little challenge here, the way I would do it would be to sit down and discuss how she can handle the situation if her peers find out she is on diapers, leave some thoughts open and let her come to a decision. Whatever is her decision, stand by her and respect it.

She is 11, a good time to start involving her in some small decision making that might impact / affect her.

Thanks for the advice. DW and I took some time to talk to her yesterday. Asked her the most important question- how she would handle the situation if her friends found out that she is on diapers. She told us that she don't know. Nevertheless she is still eager to go for the camp, so we go with her decision and see how it turns out.

We intend to make her plan for it on her own, ie how many diapers to prepare. Her FT knows about her issue but has not said anything to us regarding the camp and her condition.

[straffan23]

I know of a very good gynae that has a sub-specialisation in urologist. PM me if you want his contact - he is a father of 3, a girl around your daughter’s age.

[myebelle]

Hi



I’m not a specialist but in my studies (remedial massage), I am familiar with some anatomy.

When someone is toilet-trained, it is something they won’t forget how to do unless they suffer from some form of brain damage. So bedwetting after being toilet-trained, can be one of two things :- psychological or physiological. If you really want to rule out the causation, I agree with the others about seeing a urologist to see if it’s physiological. We have sphincters (type of muscle that acts like valve) inside our body that control urinal flow. When we are toilet-training when young, we are training to control this muscle, once trained, this muscle doesn’t ‘forget’ how to work unless something has probably happened to it. Or it can also be pelvic floor muscle issue. Either way, hopefully the urologist should help you define that.

If Urologist’s examination is not conclusive, my alternative suggestion would be to see a child psychologist. I understand you have asked her if she had any issues at school and she said no. Sometimes, children may not be able to identify what an ‘issue’ is. To them, maybe that issue has happened and she could have rationalised and internalised it to the point that she thinks that’s just part and parcel of life, and she will deal with it, without realising that subconsciously she is affected emotionally.

Hope that makes sense.

mich

[HiDaddy]

myebelle:

Hi



I'm not a specialist but in my studies (remedial massage), I am familiar with some anatomy.

When someone is toilet-trained, it is something they won't forget how to do unless they suffer from some form of brain damage. So bedwetting after being toilet-trained, can be one of two things :- psychological or physiological. If you really want to rule out the causation, I agree with the others about seeing a urologist to see if it's physiological. We have sphincters (type of muscle that acts like valve) inside our body that control urinal flow. When we are toilet-training when young, we are training to control this muscle, once trained, this muscle doesn't 'forget' how to work unless something has probably happened to it. Or it can also be pelvic floor muscle issue. Either way, hopefully the urologist should help you define that.

If Urologist's examination is not conclusive, my alternative suggestion would be to see a child psychologist. I understand you have asked her if she had any issues at school and she said no. Sometimes, children may not be able to identify what an 'issue' is. To them, maybe that issue has happened and she could have rationalised and internalised it to the point that she thinks that's just part and parcel of life, and she will deal with it, without realising that subconsciously she is affected emotionally.

Hope that makes sense.

mich

Hi,

Thanks for your help! I'm really torn between sending her to either a urologist or psychologist. I'm really tempted to send her to a urologist, but so far the few GP's I brought her to have said that DD's issue is probably not a physical one. The TCM also does not seem to have any effect on her yet, but I heard that such medication requires time. So I think that sending her to a child psychologist would have better results.

[MOTY]

I’m really torn between sending her to either a urologist or psychologist. I’m really tempted to send her to a urologist, but so far the probably not a physical one. The TCM also does not seem to have any effect on her yet, but I heard that such medication requires time. So I think that sending her to a child psychologist would have better results.[/quote]



Hi,

I join this forum just so I can reply to your posts.

A normal developing 11 yo should not be incontinent!

I would not trust a GP to treat this worsening problem as it is not their area of expertise. Please organise for your daughter to see a urologist first to rule out a physical problem.

If all normal, then see a psychologist to explore any mental issues.

I would also recommended her mom have a conversation with her about anyone:
- bullying her
- touching her inappropriately
- telling her to keep secrets from parents
- threatening her
- Other stressors

Allow her to know she can share anything and you will not be angry.

Please please don’t let this drag out any longer.

I hope it turns out to be nothing, but worst case scenario! if your daughter has cancer you need to get her treated now.

A previous poster mentioned she knows a good urologist. Perhaps you can start there.

[myebelle]

HiDaddy:

Hi,

Thanks for your help! I'm really torn between sending her to either a urologist or psychologist. I'm really tempted to send her to a urologist, but so far the few GP's I brought her to have said that DD's issue is probably not a physical one. The TCM also does not seem to have any effect on her yet, but I heard that such medication requires time. So I think that sending her to a child psychologist would have better results.

I feel that the best thing any parent can do for their child is to rule out whatever we can just to be sure, instead of wondering and guessing. You don't have to stop TCM, all you need to do is take her to urologist as well as psychologist to determine what exactly is going on, while the TCM takes its effect, if it's actually a physiological issue. Don't forget, appointments with urologists and psychologist may be hard to get. That's just my opinion.

[straffan23]

As a parent and as a woman, I feel that many times, things are best left to the professionals. I am not sure what the GP did or checked - but a urologist will be able to advice, for sure, whether she has a physical problem. They are often expensive (private ones), or have a long waiting list (subsidised ones) - but I feel that this would be money well spent. And this gives you an immediate, absolute results.


Re the phsycologist - in my humble opinion, a good phsycologist will ask if you have seen the urologist - first rule out a physical problem.