Depressed over p3 results
-
Ya boy…tallking about tutors…let me see:
1) First Chinese tutor stopped after a few months, saying she had to go home suddenly for good.
2) Got another one that after two lessons told the agency that she couldn’t handle my mischievous gal
3) Got a science tutor that after 3 months ( thankfully after SA1 ) said she couldn’t make ends meet and wanted to look for a full-time job.
4) Had a new chinese tutor that I finally sacked cos
- Always change the day. Excuses given were like, grandfather had fallen down, she had sprained her ankle, she had fever and diarrhoea la…
Or she would come one hour late! Saying that her previous student’s parents had asked her to stay another hour.
5) The last one was the maths tutor that just left as she is off to SMU.
At the moment, am resorting to the CD-ROM My home tutor to teach her.
And yes. I need a tutor like I need a babysitter as I have no time ( Am working ) and need someone to sit beside her to make sure she does revision daily. -
hi kaitlynangelica
I tend to agree with simkhoo that what you and your child is experiencing is normal. Children do not seem to share parental concerns about marks. My own child and my friend’s children even up to O level age don’t agree with us on the seriousness of school results affecting their futures. While I have no magic solution, let me share my thoughts on this.
If tutors are the problem, axe them and do it yourself together with your DH if possible. No one is more vested than you in the outcomes you hope to achieve with your child. No one possibly understands your child better than yourself. It is going to be difficult but it is doable. You will have to spend a lot of time understanding where the issue is, how to plug the gaps and tutor the child.
First is "sell" the idea of no tuition, balanced work-play lifestyle with your child. The plus is if you do it yourself, you can work on area by area to achieve small victories that could motivate her. What I find helpful is prefix times to go thru work with her and prefix times for play.
At P3 level, I gave my child around 3-5 pages of worksheet a day. After work and dinner from 8-9pm we will go thru the worksheets, corrections and schoolwork revision. Carrot here is if child can finish early, playtime comes earlier. Caveat here is to slowly up the volume of your work to be achieved close to exams and totally break from work post exams to pay child back for the hard work. What my child’s teacher shared is even if your child is doing school work, an adult that sits next to the child quietly supporting the child is better than leaving the child alone to do homework. It’s more of the emotional connection.
However if DIY is not your cup of tea and your have to get tutors, you need to understand your child’s learning style. Mine is playful and loves group tuition over one on one.
Don’t despair. You still have time to fine-tune your strategies with your child before the teenage years. -
kaitlynangelica:
Why not send her to a tuition center instead? At least less occurence of these sort of irritations. Confirmed lesson can start same time each weekYa boy.....tallking about tutors....let me see:
1) First Chinese tutor stopped after a few months, saying she had to go home suddenly for good.
2) Got another one that after two lessons told the agency that she couldn't handle my mischievous gal
3) Got a science tutor that after 3 months ( thankfully after SA1 ) said she couldn't make ends meet and wanted to look for a full-time job.
4) Had a new chinese tutor that I finally sacked cos
- Always change the day. Excuses given were like, grandfather had fallen down, she had sprained her ankle, she had fever and diarrhoea la....
Or she would come one hour late! Saying that her previous student's parents had asked her to stay another hour.
5) The last one was the maths tutor that just left as she is off to SMU.
-
Yes. I have sent her off to tuition centres now.
-Chinese
-zuo wen
-Science
-English
Except for maths which I feel needs one-to-one attention.
I was recommended a maths tutor recently but its rather expensive at $45 an hour. Still consiering whether to take it up or not. I will be totally :stupid: if after that still no results.
But having said that, I have come across a lot of parents that spend tonnes on their kid's tuition and the kids are
a) not grateful
b) still not doing well -
Wow, that is a lot of tuition. What does she say about all these tuition? Is she rejecting all the tuition?
Which is the subject that she is scoring above Band 3? Would you dare to try out something with her? For that subject, make her own it. Remove tuition for that. Tell her so long as she improve or at the minimum maintain the grade, she can do without tuition for that. See how she reponds to that.
The tutors’ attitudes can be why she is so ‘bochap’. If tutors who are suppose to teach and guide cannot be bothered why should she. So unless she understands that she owns her grades, she will be ‘bochap’ about it. -
Funz,
Yes its a lot but I feel she needs it:-
She got band 3 for maths, chinese and even English.
I know lots of parents ( very unsympatethic ) will be like
as their kids are all getting band 1.
She is weak in compo and zuo wen especially.
She hates it but because she knows how upset I was so she doesn’t dare protest. -
Maybe her school standard is very high that it is demoralising her?
-
kaitlynangelica:
Dear kaitlynangelica,Yes. I have sent her off to tuition centres now.
-Chinese
-zuo wen
-Science
-English
Except for maths which I feel needs one-to-one attention.
I was recommended a maths tutor recently but its rather expensive at $45 an hour. Still consiering whether to take it up or not. I will be totally :stupid: if after that still no results.
But having said that, I have come across a lot of parents that spend tonnes on their kid's tuition and the kids are
a) not grateful
b) still not doing well
could it be that your DD has ADHD? Dyslexia, DysCalculus?
do you know that there are 6 types of ADHD?
http://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/guide/types-of-adhd
or is she just plain unmotivated? -
I feel that you need to really understand your DD’s learning capability and where she actually stands. If she is a bright girl and grasps concepts easily, then getting Band 3 despite having help from tutors is not justified. Find out from DD why she is performing this way and does she feel proud of her the kind of grades she is getting? Make her understand that she is responsible for the quality of work done and if this laidback attitude goes on, the going is gonna get more bumpy in P4-6. Let her see the importance of taking charge of her own studies and not rely on tutors to solve all her problems. Instill in her the need for independant learning and self motivation. Tutors can only do ‘that’ much for you as they only see you once or twice a week. It’s really not enough as true learning is a daily thing, you work hard daily and consistently and not mug when exams are near. It’s too late. Parents must play a part by reinforcing what their child learns in school or during tuition. You cannot simply leave it to the school or tutor to do the job. After all parents spend more time with their kids than teachers do with them.
Also if a child is bright but is not getting great grades, it also signals certain underlying issues like the child is distracted with something or even unhappy or feels neglected. She may have low self-esteem and needs more prep talks and encouragement. Sometimes it is simply due to the influence of friends especially when they are also the unmotivated and disinterested type of students.
If the learning capacity of a child is average or below, then it is not her fault to get unimpressive grades. In fact, she could have probably done her best. Of course, being careful in work can jack up her marks substantially but learning to grasp concepts, internalize and the apply require more time
and effort for not so capable learners. The student has to be much more
diligent than others. If the bright ones put in 1 hour for study, the weaker student has to double the effort and time. There is no other way. Of course every student good or weak has to learn to study smart.
One thing about tutors, try to get those that teach full-time. The commitment is really there unlike part-timers or students. Also most tutors don’t really teach students good thinking skills when answerng questions. They are more interested in providing answers readily. To give great correct answers is to first understand and read the mind of the setter who sets the questions. So think, what does the setter want me to do? What concept do I apply with the given clues? This is essential.
Never expects an average performer to improve by leaps and bounds. Make little steps and set realistic targets. Diligence, encouragement and patience is the key. -
mommylow:
:goodpost:I feel that you need to really understand your DD's learning capability and where she actually stands. If she is a bright girl and grasps concepts easily, then getting Band 3 despite having help from tutors is not justified. Find out from DD why she is performing this way and does she feel proud of her the kind of grades she is getting? Make her understand that she is responsible for the quality of work done and if this laidback attitude goes on, the going is gonna get more bumpy in P4-6. Let her see the importance of taking charge of her own studies and not rely on tutors to solve all her problems. Instill in her the need for independant learning and self motivation. Tutors can only do 'that' much for you as they only see you once or twice a week. It's really not enough as true learning is a daily thing, you work hard daily and consistently and not mug when exams are near. It's too late. Parents must play a part by reinforcing what their child learns in school or during tuition. You cannot simply leave it to the school or tutor to do the job. After all parents spend more time with their kids than teachers do with them.
Also if a child is bright but is not getting great grades, it also signals certain underlying issues like the child is distracted with something or even unhappy or feels neglected. She may have low self-esteem and needs more prep talks and encouragement. Sometimes it is simply due to the influence of friends especially when they are also the unmotivated and disinterested type of students.
If the learning capacity of a child is average or below, then it is not her fault to get unimpressive grades. In fact, she could have probably done her best. Of course, being careful in work can jack up her marks substantially but learning to grasp concepts, internalize and the apply require more time and effort for not so capable learners. The student has to be much more diligent than others. If the bright ones put in 1 hour for study, the weaker student has to double the effort and time. There is no other way. Of course every student good or weak has to learn to study smart.
One thing about tutors, try to get those that teach full-time. The commitment is really there unlike part-timers or students. Also most tutors don't really teach students good thinking skills when answerng questions. They are more interested in providing answers readily. To give great correct answers is to first understand and read the mind of the setter who sets the questions. So think, what does the setter want me to do? What concept do I apply with the given clues? This is essential.
Never expects average performed to improve by leaps and bounds. Make little steps and set realistic targets. Diligence, encouragement and patience is the key.
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