Is this behaviour of teacher acceptable?
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MOTY:
Hmm... Understand. Some thought provoking paragraphs here for tome to ponder upon...Caning as a predefined punishment for misbehaviour is different from \" having ears pulled and books thrown on the floor.\"
Caning, if conducted properly, is like a currency you exchange as payment for offenses against you social order. It is possible to move forth with dignity after you have discharged your debt.
This child's punishment on the other hand focus purely on humilation. The non verbal message that the teacher is communicating is that \"you are like these books I have thrown on the floor..a piece of trash.\" This is a high price base on destruction of the child's self worth that he may continue to pay unconsciously from many years to come.
I think if we want our children to become a person of worth, then we should teach and punishment without their having to shed their dignity.
OT a bit - there are people of all sorts and some times we have no way to stop them from entering our children's world (like this teacher and what was done to the child).
What can we, as parents, do to help our children to be more resilient against such situations? I am looking for opinions/ideas which we could put in place So that our children don't fall victims into someone's tactless deeds. Like what moty said, still paying after years. :sad: I may need these ideas real soon..... -
Nebbermind:
just wondering, for parents who have disruptive kids, what would be the acceptable punishment for the diff kind of misdeed, eg, disturbing neighbours, speaking out of turn, rude to teacher, uncooperative in acitivities etc....
For me, i will accept teachers punishing my kid, by making my kid stand facing the wall and pull OWN ears, do push up on the floor (but must be within capability, and not overdo).
I do not accept making to do writing lines as see as waste of time. No pulling ears by teachers. For spanking, is still alright if is on the palms (no equipment- rulers, canes not allow, can only use hand to spank), but the reason to spank must be reasonable enough. After punishment, is a must to explain why got the punishment and must notify me.
Not sure I am strict enough? -
If my kid ever have a teacher that starts throwing books on the floor, I will get my kid to tell that teacher - books are for reading, not for throwing on the floor. Please cherish the books and not damage the materials, plus the book is not a ball or Frisbee that is meant for throwing.
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MOTY:
There are pros and cons to the way and how the way punishments are done. It also depends on how the child think about this punishments. Do the child feel it this way,\"The teacher did this for my good, I need to change for the better.\" or ,\"I feel humiliated, I won't go to school anymore.\"Caning as a predefined punishment for misbehaviour is different from \" having ears pulled and books thrown on the floor.\"
Caning, if conducted properly, is like a currency you exchange as payment for offenses against you social order. It is possible to move forth with dignity after you have discharged your debt.
This child's punishment on the other hand focus purely on humilation. The non verbal message that the teacher is communicating is that \"you are like these books I have thrown on the floor..a piece of trash.\" This is a high price base on destruction of the child's self worth that he may continue to pay unconsciously from many years to come.
I think if we want our children to become a person of worth, then we should teach and punishment without their having to shed their dignity.
In fact every parents, children and in fact teachers wants that quoted in dark blue. We can discuss on what should be teach and what kind of punishment can be carry out without shedding their dignity. I am :scratchhead: . -
Teacher has probably lost all cool by then. Chances are, teacher could have been brought up in the "old school" generation where physical punishment is acceptable.
No, I do not think that the teacher should have done that.
Though, I sometimes feel for teachers.
Theirs is not an easy job. -
Imami:
OT a bit - there are people of all sorts and some times we have no way to stop them from entering our children's world (like this teacher and what was done to the child).
What can we, as parents, do to help our children to be more resilient against such situations? I am looking for opinions/ideas which we could put in place So that our children don't fall victims into someone's tactless deeds. Like what moty said, still paying after years. :sad: I may need these ideas real soon.....
Resilience is the ability to function in the setting of stress and adversity.
It is easier to cope with adversity if one possess:
1.\tBelief/knowledge of one’s self worth
A major component of a child’s self worth is dependent on the parents belief in the child’s worth. As parents we plant the seed of confidence in our children so that they, in turn, dare to explore and interact with their environment.
2.\tStrong set of moral values
Religious principles or common sense moral values teach our children to act with decorum in society and just as importantly, set a standard for what the child should expect from others.
3.\tAdaptability and tools for dealing with life’s challenges
When something bad happens to us and we do nothing then we are victims. When we actively tackle life’s challengers these adverse events become learning experiences whether our tactic succeed or failed. There are so many resources such as books, websites, forums, mentors, counsellors, etc, out there. As long as we are proactive we can empower our children by teaching them strategies for dealing with life’s problems.
4.\tSupport network eg family, friends and/or church
Support network provide encouragement, support, advice, ideas, wisdom, love and acceptance in the face of failure, so that we can recharge and regroup for the next round. -
MOTY:
I think I am trying to do/I need point #3 now.
Resilience is the ability to function in the setting of stress and adversity.Imami:
OT a bit - there are people of all sorts and some times we have no way to stop them from entering our children's world (like this teacher and what was done to the child).
What can we, as parents, do to help our children to be more resilient against such situations? I am looking for opinions/ideas which we could put in place So that our children don't fall victims into someone's tactless deeds. Like what moty said, still paying after years. :sad: I may need these ideas real soon.....
It is easier to cope with adversity if one possess:
1.\tBelief/knowledge of one’s self worth
A major component of a child’s self worth is dependent on the parents belief in the child’s worth. As parents we plant the seed of confidence in our children so that they, in turn, dare to explore and interact with their environment.
2.\tStrong set of moral values
Religious principles or common sense moral values teach our children to act with decorum in society and just as importantly, set a standard for what the child should expect from others.
3.\tAdaptability and tools for dealing with life’s challenges
When something bad happens to us and we do nothing then we are victims. When we actively tackle life’s challengers these adverse events become learning experiences whether our tactic succeed or failed. There are so many resources such as books, websites, forums, mentors, counsellors, etc, out there. As long as we are proactive we can empower our children by teaching them strategies for dealing with life’s problems.
4.\tSupport network eg family, friends and/or church
Support network provide encouragement, support, advice, ideas, wisdom, love and acceptance in the face of failure, so that we can recharge and regroup for the next round.
Child was on some sort of accelerated learning which requires him to copy (from white board) fast, read fast and process his thoughts fast. Not my doing (as in not I sign him up from some classes. He was selected among the peer to embark on the trial programme). In my opinion and having checked with several parents with older kids, I believe what is required is beyond a typical four year old. However, because child does not want to withdraw from the lessons, I am still keeping my decisions on hold. Will be meeting the program manager tomorrow to understand more.
In addition, while I saw my child’s struggles, I sensed his desire to take up this challenge. From the handouts my child brought home, I could sense the teacher’s frustration. My child said Teacher always ‘scolded’ him and he was the slowest one (to complete the worksheets). I am just wondering…. If the Teacher is going to lose it(her temper). -
May be check with his classmates first. Then make an appointment to meet up with the teacher to find out more. Parent & teacher communication is very important at this point of time. Both teacher & parent have to try to understand the situation & his condition. Wait for his diagnosis outcome & get the necessary treatment. All the best.
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mummy so kiasu:
May be check with his classmates first. Then make an appointment to meet up with the teacher to find out more. Parent & teacher communication is very important at this point of time. Both teacher & parent have to try to understand the situation & his condition. Wait for his diagnosis outcome & get the necessary treatment. All the best.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: omg, are you referring to my post? My child is not sick leh.... \"condition... Diagnosis... Treatment...\" :slapshead: -
Gerberadaisy: How did the meeting with the teacher go? Hope the matter is resolved to your satisfaction.
Imami: If you can get an idea of what is the class curriculum from the teacher you may be able to device games and exercises at home which will augment your child’s skills.
I am reading an interesting book on cognitive dissonance at the moment. Base on this principle, if you can slowly change the teacher’s perception of your child to a hard working and motivated student, she is less likely to pick on your child should he not satisfy all her technical requirements, as her brain will be much more willing to make allowances for a child she subconsciously feels is a good student.
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