Is this behaviour of teacher acceptable?
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Imami:
OT a bit - there are people of all sorts and some times we have no way to stop them from entering our children's world (like this teacher and what was done to the child).
What can we, as parents, do to help our children to be more resilient against such situations? I am looking for opinions/ideas which we could put in place So that our children don't fall victims into someone's tactless deeds. Like what moty said, still paying after years. :sad: I may need these ideas real soon.....
Resilience is the ability to function in the setting of stress and adversity.
It is easier to cope with adversity if one possess:
1.\tBelief/knowledge of one’s self worth
A major component of a child’s self worth is dependent on the parents belief in the child’s worth. As parents we plant the seed of confidence in our children so that they, in turn, dare to explore and interact with their environment.
2.\tStrong set of moral values
Religious principles or common sense moral values teach our children to act with decorum in society and just as importantly, set a standard for what the child should expect from others.
3.\tAdaptability and tools for dealing with life’s challenges
When something bad happens to us and we do nothing then we are victims. When we actively tackle life’s challengers these adverse events become learning experiences whether our tactic succeed or failed. There are so many resources such as books, websites, forums, mentors, counsellors, etc, out there. As long as we are proactive we can empower our children by teaching them strategies for dealing with life’s problems.
4.\tSupport network eg family, friends and/or church
Support network provide encouragement, support, advice, ideas, wisdom, love and acceptance in the face of failure, so that we can recharge and regroup for the next round. -
MOTY:
I think I am trying to do/I need point #3 now.
Resilience is the ability to function in the setting of stress and adversity.Imami:
OT a bit - there are people of all sorts and some times we have no way to stop them from entering our children's world (like this teacher and what was done to the child).
What can we, as parents, do to help our children to be more resilient against such situations? I am looking for opinions/ideas which we could put in place So that our children don't fall victims into someone's tactless deeds. Like what moty said, still paying after years. :sad: I may need these ideas real soon.....
It is easier to cope with adversity if one possess:
1.\tBelief/knowledge of one’s self worth
A major component of a child’s self worth is dependent on the parents belief in the child’s worth. As parents we plant the seed of confidence in our children so that they, in turn, dare to explore and interact with their environment.
2.\tStrong set of moral values
Religious principles or common sense moral values teach our children to act with decorum in society and just as importantly, set a standard for what the child should expect from others.
3.\tAdaptability and tools for dealing with life’s challenges
When something bad happens to us and we do nothing then we are victims. When we actively tackle life’s challengers these adverse events become learning experiences whether our tactic succeed or failed. There are so many resources such as books, websites, forums, mentors, counsellors, etc, out there. As long as we are proactive we can empower our children by teaching them strategies for dealing with life’s problems.
4.\tSupport network eg family, friends and/or church
Support network provide encouragement, support, advice, ideas, wisdom, love and acceptance in the face of failure, so that we can recharge and regroup for the next round.
Child was on some sort of accelerated learning which requires him to copy (from white board) fast, read fast and process his thoughts fast. Not my doing (as in not I sign him up from some classes. He was selected among the peer to embark on the trial programme). In my opinion and having checked with several parents with older kids, I believe what is required is beyond a typical four year old. However, because child does not want to withdraw from the lessons, I am still keeping my decisions on hold. Will be meeting the program manager tomorrow to understand more.
In addition, while I saw my child’s struggles, I sensed his desire to take up this challenge. From the handouts my child brought home, I could sense the teacher’s frustration. My child said Teacher always ‘scolded’ him and he was the slowest one (to complete the worksheets). I am just wondering…. If the Teacher is going to lose it(her temper). -
May be check with his classmates first. Then make an appointment to meet up with the teacher to find out more. Parent & teacher communication is very important at this point of time. Both teacher & parent have to try to understand the situation & his condition. Wait for his diagnosis outcome & get the necessary treatment. All the best.
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mummy so kiasu:
May be check with his classmates first. Then make an appointment to meet up with the teacher to find out more. Parent & teacher communication is very important at this point of time. Both teacher & parent have to try to understand the situation & his condition. Wait for his diagnosis outcome & get the necessary treatment. All the best.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: omg, are you referring to my post? My child is not sick leh.... \"condition... Diagnosis... Treatment...\" :slapshead: -
Gerberadaisy: How did the meeting with the teacher go? Hope the matter is resolved to your satisfaction.
Imami: If you can get an idea of what is the class curriculum from the teacher you may be able to device games and exercises at home which will augment your child’s skills.
I am reading an interesting book on cognitive dissonance at the moment. Base on this principle, if you can slowly change the teacher’s perception of your child to a hard working and motivated student, she is less likely to pick on your child should he not satisfy all her technical requirements, as her brain will be much more willing to make allowances for a child she subconsciously feels is a good student. -
Dear all,
Many thanks for all the kind advice and invaluable input. Have met up with the teacher and she explained that she did that to send a firm message to my child that his behaviour (not paying attention or obeying instructions) is not acceptable. We have accepted her explanation and will let the matter rest. -
gerberadaisy:
So is your child better behaved in class now?Dear all,
Many thanks for all the kind advice and invaluable input. Have met up with the teacher and she explained that she did that to send a firm message to my child that his behaviour (not paying attention or obeying instructions) is not acceptable. We have accepted her explanation and will let the matter rest. -
i also hv an experience to share.
i was told that my ds swear using the f word in class and was made to slap himself in the face 10 times in front of the class. for which my ds admitted and i caned him for that again at home. i feel that the teacher wasnt wrong, except that i sometimes couldnt accept another person’s punishment to my kids except for myself. this applies the same when my MIL does any form of punishment, even just standing in front of the altar, irritates me regardless of what my ds did.
i believe all parents here who are against the teacher punishing students are more or less having the same mindset as me.
after taking to my hubby, i agreed that the teacher wasnt wrong to humiliate my ds in front of his class so i let the matter rest. deep down, i’m not sure if any of such things were to happen again, will i have the same forgiveness. -
I just want to comment on cultural differences of what is considered suitable method of discipline.
It would be very rare for a Western mother to accept having her child slap herself 10 times as suitable punishment. Whereas Asian mothers have more tolerance for a "less dignified" approach if they feel the end result justifies the mean.
I wonder how much of our cultural upbringing affects our behaviour as I feel Western kids tends to be more assertive, willing to challenge authority, independent, also bit more likely to learn by making his own mistakes. Asian kids tends to be more hard working, disciplined, less likely to test boundaries.
What do you think?
How can we cultivate the best qualities of both world in our children? -
hi moty,
maybe u r right… we tend to impose harsh punishments or rather accept these due to Asian mindset… caucasians will never accept this. this is also partly the reason why international schools where the caucasian kids study, do not employ local teachers… the cultural difference is just unspoken.
if we can expose our kids to different groups of friends, they may influence each other in terms of their behaviour… just that it takes a lot more than just saying!! we parents still have much to learn everyday from others as well as from forums in order to meet increase our benchmark…
since we are all brought up differently, differences in upbringing between individual local families are already an issue, what’s more when we are compared to ang mohs?
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