Is this behaviour of teacher acceptable?

[mummy so kiasu]

May be check with his classmates first. Then make an appointment to meet up with the teacher to find out more. Parent & teacher communication is very important at this point of time. Both teacher & parent have to try to understand the situation & his condition. Wait for his diagnosis outcome & get the necessary treatment. All the best.

[Imami]

mummy so kiasu:

May be check with his classmates first. Then make an appointment to meet up with the teacher to find out more. Parent & teacher communication is very important at this point of time. Both teacher & parent have to try to understand the situation & his condition. Wait for his diagnosis outcome & get the necessary treatment. All the best.

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: omg, are you referring to my post? My child is not sick leh.... \"condition... Diagnosis... Treatment...\" :slapshead:

[MOTY]

Gerberadaisy: How did the meeting with the teacher go? Hope the matter is resolved to your satisfaction.



Imami: If you can get an idea of what is the class curriculum from the teacher you may be able to device games and exercises at home which will augment your child’s skills.

I am reading an interesting book on cognitive dissonance at the moment. Base on this principle, if you can slowly change the teacher’s perception of your child to a hard working and motivated student, she is less likely to pick on your child should he not satisfy all her technical requirements, as her brain will be much more willing to make allowances for a child she subconsciously feels is a good student.

[gerberadaisy]

Dear all,


Many thanks for all the kind advice and invaluable input. Have met up with the teacher and she explained that she did that to send a firm message to my child that his behaviour (not paying attention or obeying instructions) is not acceptable. We have accepted her explanation and will let the matter rest.

[weatherbee]

gerberadaisy:

Dear all,


Many thanks for all the kind advice and invaluable input. Have met up with the teacher and she explained that she did that to send a firm message to my child that his behaviour (not paying attention or obeying instructions) is not acceptable. We have accepted her explanation and will let the matter rest.

So is your child better behaved in class now?

[verykiasumummy]

i also hv an experience to share.


i was told that my ds swear using the f word in class and was made to slap himself in the face 10 times in front of the class. for which my ds admitted and i caned him for that again at home. i feel that the teacher wasnt wrong, except that i sometimes couldnt accept another person’s punishment to my kids except for myself. this applies the same when my MIL does any form of punishment, even just standing in front of the altar, irritates me regardless of what my ds did.

i believe all parents here who are against the teacher punishing students are more or less having the same mindset as me.

after taking to my hubby, i agreed that the teacher wasnt wrong to humiliate my ds in front of his class so i let the matter rest. deep down, i’m not sure if any of such things were to happen again, will i have the same forgiveness.

[MOTY]

I just want to comment on cultural differences of what is considered suitable method of discipline.


It would be very rare for a Western mother to accept having her child slap herself 10 times as suitable punishment. Whereas Asian mothers have more tolerance for a "less dignified" approach if they feel the end result justifies the mean.

I wonder how much of our cultural upbringing affects our behaviour as I feel Western kids tends to be more assertive, willing to challenge authority, independent, also bit more likely to learn by making his own mistakes. Asian kids tends to be more hard working, disciplined, less likely to test boundaries.

What do you think?

How can we cultivate the best qualities of both world in our children?

[verykiasumummy]

hi moty,


maybe u r right… we tend to impose harsh punishments or rather accept these due to Asian mindset… caucasians will never accept this. this is also partly the reason why international schools where the caucasian kids study, do not employ local teachers… the cultural difference is just unspoken.

if we can expose our kids to different groups of friends, they may influence each other in terms of their behaviour… just that it takes a lot more than just saying!! we parents still have much to learn everyday from others as well as from forums in order to meet increase our benchmark…

since we are all brought up differently, differences in upbringing between individual local families are already an issue, what’s more when we are compared to ang mohs?

[ammonite]

I am an Asian mother. I won’t accept this self-slapping punishment from the teacher AT ALL. I believe many teachers too will not think this is a suitable punishment.


More than cultural attitudes towards disciplinary METHODS, I feel there is also the difference in children’s temperament and what is considered "good" in different cultures. My son is vocal and very active at the playground. Caucasian neighbours commented on how friendly and confident he is, and they do not bat an eyelid at his activities (climbing up the swing frame - all the boys do it). But a local auntie came to tell me he was very naughty because he said hi to her when he ran past, and frowned at her when she teased him (this was exactly what she said to me) and he was scolded by an old man from China for being a "ye hai zi" (wild child) at the playground.

[verykiasumummy]

hi ammonite,


what u mentioned made me recall my ang moh boss few yrs back… she was given PR and gave birth in sg… as usual what u have mentioned, her little boy interacted with many others at the playground and had many activities which are those considered "wild".

when there’s only some girls with her son playing, she didnt pay much attention to what her son was doing, but when some other boys joined in, her eyes were all on them…!! after what seems like 30 sec, she walked over gracefully and will smile to those other parents, saying that their boys are so active and cute; they look gorgeous; wonderful companion and so on… and give an excuse to bring her son back…

back in the car when i ask her, she said those kids were almost as tall as her son, she’s afraid they might get too excited and hurt him, or fall and cause injury to her son. but i can tell u, her son, being ang moh, was much taller than the others, that made me think otherwise that her son would hurt the others more likely.

being with an ang moh boss for so many yrs back then, i couldnt help feeling that their comments usually said to ppl are so pretentious, so fake!! words like "wonderful", "gorgeous" always come from their mouths, but how many of them would really mean that?

asians are different, we are brought up in a way where we look at mistakes more than anything… we rmb ppl of the mistakes they make, and most do not make praises at all. my dd’s kindergarten teacher told me last time that i should reward kids for what they achieve, and punish them lightly but discipline more when it comes to mistakes. but my husband believes in harsh punishments. when they did something well, he thinks it is "ying gai de" (supposed to be, so nothing to reward)

this is probably the reason why i used to hate some parents whenever i go to my ds’s school to fetch him… they would make comments like, "hey yesterday myson says ur son hit him", "ur son refuse to lend money to my son" and so on… they dun speak of the good, but the bad instead…

so my conclusion, believe half of those coming from ang mohs, as well as those remarks by locals… they never meant anything really serious, unless it is from the school…