All About Working With Children Who Are Weak Academically
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concernmother:
You're welcome!
Thanks Hokkiengirl! I will check out this book in library. :thankyou: -
deminc:
Ha ha tell me about it. I was so amazed when I read the book. It had my eldest son pegged to a T. He's a Scattered Charmer through and through!!! Gosh, I hope he wakes up before he gets married, otherwise, I'll have a really mad dil on my hands! :lol::lol:
Wah I like the different categories, especially the sincere slacker! I knew a Creative Charmer who was also a Scattered Charmer - really hopeless with the day to day. Fortunately his gf/wife is the super organized type and organized everything for him and friends reminded him of datelines and if there were exams the NEXT day and what the subjects being tested were. So failing all else, there is still hope that their future partner can take up the slack in this department. -
I finally found someone who shares the same situation!
My girl is also a slow coach: slow in eating, bathing, changing clothes, settling down to study, if she's gone out for enrichment lesson, the day is as good as gone. Even on normal school days, she takes 3 hours to settle herself down before starting to do work.
Carrots don't work. I use a cane. Yes, having a child like that can be very trying on your patience. Sometimes we suspect she's trying very hard to exasperated us to the point of us giving up hope on her. Even when psle is nearing, she's still taking her own sweet time like she's not sitting for it.
With a child like that, we can only resign ourselves to fate. We just do what we can for her. My husband says we should not give her too good a life as she would have a hard time getting used to the hard life later on, as could be predicted from her lack of effort, but my argument is, she would have a lifetime to get used to the hard life later on, so let her enjoy what she can now.sleepy:
Confirmed it's personality. My dd1 is exactly the same. So I can totally empathise with your frustration.
She has no sense of urgency or concept of time. Idle away whatever spare time she has. From the moment I fetch her from school till the time she actually sat down at her desk to start doing homework, she needs a minimum of 3.5 hours! Everything is done in sloooooow motion. If I rush her, she said I'm causing her excessive stress & then she cried. End up I'm the bad guy :mad:
I don't have a solution yet. I've tried every single method I can think of since she was in preschool. And she's p4 now. I forsee I will continue to struggle. 'Carrot' doesn't work at all. So I'm moving to sticks now.
'Sticks' I have in place:
No TV. No computer. Cannot play iphone games.
I even opt her out of CCA. And I'm very selective about external enrichments because once she steps out of the house, she will take an extremely long time to settle down to study again. -
rains:
I finally found someone who shares the same situation!
My girl is also a slow coach: slow in eating, bathing, changing clothes, settling down to study, if she's gone out for enrichment lesson, the day is as good as gone. Even on normal school days, she takes 3 hours to settle herself down before starting to do work.
With a child like that, we can only resign ourselves to fate.
Precisely! Our girls are exactly the same!
We mummies 同病相怜 :hugs: -
sleepy:
On the good side, this kind of kids are very calm, they tend to think twice, thrice before they act, in the long run good for their heart. :please: have a kid who is like that, always 皇帝不急太监急。but now appreciate his calmness and maturity in taking care of himself when not with him.rains:
I finally found someone who shares the same situation!
My girl is also a slow coach: slow in eating, bathing, changing clothes, settling down to study, if she's gone out for enrichment lesson, the day is as good as gone. Even on normal school days, she takes 3 hours to settle herself down before starting to do work.
With a child like that, we can only resign ourselves to fate.
Precisely! Our girls are exactly the same!
We mummies 同病相怜 :hugs: -
concernmother:
When she finished her PSLE, i thought my job has ended. Thought that she will look after herself in Sec. Every year I am facing a lot of challenges. Guess it is a lifetime job.... :faint:[/quote] :snuggles:slmkhoo:
[quote=\"concernmother\"]Thank you all for your advises. I guess i have to spend more time on her in this area. However, she is very stubborn and always think she is right. so this can be tough. I guess i spoon feed her a lot in Primary School. I was the one who reminded her to do tuition HW, study ting xie....when she was in Pri School. So I guess this is the consequences....
At this age, you need to convince her that she needs help, and that you can offer some help. If you force, she will probably rebel. You said she gets disappointed with her results, so can you start from there and convince her that her way is not working at the moment, and she should try something else? But whatever you do, don't take over and do what you did in Pr school; she needs to manage this for herself, although you cen help her set up a system, remind her when she lapses, and check that she imposes the penalties on herself.
parenting IS a job for life. No matter what kind of kids (the extrovert/introvert), the gender, the age etc, there will be problems as they grow.
And mothers will always be the ones dealing with the problem (the fathers do help but not all the time or not as closely). That's why they say Mother Earth, Mother land, Mother tongue.... All about mothers! -
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i am so glad i am not alone!
I have tried these few weeks. She is still the happy-go-lucky girl. No urgency. Sigh. Just like yesterday, she told me that she had lots of homework. ok fine. I left her to do it. Then i realised that those were HW given like a week ago and need to hand up today. So my dear DD did her HW till late. I woke up in the middle of the night at abt 1.35am. Saw her lights still on. I walked to her room, saw her lying on bed reading her bible. Ahhhhhh!!! She knows very well that she has to wake up at 6.30am. Told her to go to bed, all she said was, “ok. soon”
Really don’t know when was her “soon”. Anyway, I get got back to bed with my pillow over my head…“no eyes to see”
She is 14. I cannot use cane. I have done what i need to do. If she does not listen, guess she has to bear the consequences.
Obviously, she woke up this morning with difficulty. I kept quiet. Just wish one day she will “wake up” and be sensible.
I have DS who is in P6 this year. Thinking that he is going to sec next year, really give me cold sweat. I don’t think I can handle two teenagers! -
Seeing this thread makes me feel :
:hi5: apparently the self motivated kids :imanangel: are the rare species??? You are very lucky if you have one. :congrats:
:frustrated: :stompfeet: because I can associate with the behaviorial aspects that were mentioned here. My pils said that the kids will only move when we are home :mad: :spank: :nunchuk: :rant: if not they will plonk themselves infront of the tv 24/7. dh said I am getting naggy... I told the kids... it's all their fault that I've become naggy. How I wish I don't have to nag... as though it's my favorite pastime :scratchhead:
:nailbite: I thought I can \"shake leg\" when 2 older ones go to secondary school but..... this don't seem to be the case from what I read :faint: :lightrod:
I suddenly come to a realisation that my career (which I spent 8-10 hours a day) is only a \"part time\" job but motherhood is my full time job as it is 24/7 and till the day I die.... -
concernmother:
I can understand how you feel. Don't give up on her, she is too young to know the consequences. Try sending her to a motivation camp & get her to read some inspiration or motivation books.Thanks Cherrygal, mummy of three, ksi, kwcllf. Thanks for the advises. Got her tuition for some subjects. Hopefully she will buck up and catch up with her work. Funny thing is that, she has the intention to do well but her will-power is not strong enough. She will come home with the intention of doing so and so HW, revise so and so subjects. However, only half done at the end of the day. She knows she has to set a timetable and she knows well that she has to set a target.....but...
Guess you all are right. Probably she is too comfortable, don't know what is hardship. But i have seen children, who come from comfortable home, wealthy family, doing very well on their own and very focus. Why my kid is not like this?
So many times I want to give up. But sigh....mother nature..so difficult to do that.