When our children begin dating...below 16...my experience

[pokemon97]

it’s headache for me now, mine just started the relationship with a girl and this girl keep asking him out all the times even during his exam weeks. I stopped him from going out as he’s having his exam n he is very angry. I’m really in a loss what to do…

[Gems]

I have told my children that there is nothing wrong having an interest in that boy or girl. It’s all part of growing up but no dating, group outing is fine.


I prefer them to date around 19 -20 year old. No, no for Secondary and below.

[jedamum]

pokemon97:

it's headache for me now, mine just started the relationship with a girl and this girl keep asking him out all the times even during his exam weeks. I stopped him from going out as he's having his exam n he is very angry. I'm really in a loss what to do.....

i think maybe u have to explain to him to wait until after the exams?
or u invite the girl to your place for dinner/dvd movie and then offer to send her home after that so your boy can revise?
i remember when i was dating my husband, i imposed a 1month no meeting rule during exam period! and when he needed to rush his final year project, i went over to his place for dinner and then we went for a quick stroll before his parents sent me home.

[KSP]

i'm so and stress now after reading this thread.... how to brainwash a child that dating should be after education?

[pokemon97]

jedamum:

pokemon97:

it's headache for me now, mine just started the relationship with a girl and this girl keep asking him out all the times even during his exam weeks. I stopped him from going out as he's having his exam n he is very angry. I'm really in a loss what to do.....

i think maybe u have to explain to him to wait until after the exams?
or u invite the girl to your place for dinner/dvd movie and then offer to send her home after that so your boy can revise?
i remember when i was dating my husband, i imposed a 1month no meeting rule during exam period! and when he needed to rush his final year project, i went over to his place for dinner and then we went for a quick stroll before his parents sent me home.

Thanks jedamum, I've did that, i've tried both ways, told him will let him go out after his exam and invite the girl come but it dun work. The girl keep pestering him to go out, she has already planned a lot of programme , ice-skating, movie, dinner. She keep massaging him tell him to persuade us to let him go out...headache. The girl is in normal stream but my boy next year going to take his o level, it really worries me.. :sad: :sad: thought of sending him to the school counselling, will it work?? Did anyone do that before, can share??

[verykiasu2010]

pokemon97:

jedamum:

[quote=\"pokemon97\"]it's headache for me now, mine just started the relationship with a girl and this girl keep asking him out all the times even during his exam weeks. I stopped him from going out as he's having his exam n he is very angry. I'm really in a loss what to do.....

i think maybe u have to explain to him to wait until after the exams?
or u invite the girl to your place for dinner/dvd movie and then offer to send her home after that so your boy can revise?
i remember when i was dating my husband, i imposed a 1month no meeting rule during exam period! and when he needed to rush his final year project, i went over to his place for dinner and then we went for a quick stroll before his parents sent me home.

Thanks jedamum, I've did that, i've tried both ways, told him will let him go out after his exam and invite the girl come but it dun work. The girl keep pestering him to go out, she has already planned a lot of programme , ice-skating, movie, dinner. She keep massaging him tell him to persuade us to let him go out...headache. The girl is in normal stream but my boy next year going to take his o level, it really worries me.. :sad: :sad: thought of sending him to the school counselling, will it work?? Did anyone do that before, can share??[/quote]trouble already !

no, may be just messaging him :evil: :evil:

[verykiasu2010]

mummy so kiasu:

Some parents send their kids to single sex schools to prevent BGR. Especially for those who have daughters. For myself, I strongly discourage sec kids to date. They might end up having premature sex. Kids at this age should focus on their study & enjoy their school days instead of stick with their so called partner all the times.

mature or marital ? :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[BeContented]

verykiasu2010:

pokemon97:

[quote=\"jedamum\"]
i think maybe u have to explain to him to wait until after the exams?
or u invite the girl to your place for dinner/dvd movie and then offer to send her home after that so your boy can revise?
i remember when i was dating my husband, i imposed a 1month no meeting rule during exam period! and when he needed to rush his final year project, i went over to his place for dinner and then we went for a quick stroll before his parents sent me home.

Thanks jedamum, I've did that, i've tried both ways, told him will let him go out after his exam and invite the girl come but it dun work. The girl keep pestering him to go out, she has already planned a lot of programme , ice-skating, movie, dinner. She keep massaging him tell him to persuade us to let him go out...headache. The girl is in normal stream but my boy next year going to take his o level, it really worries me.. :sad: :sad: thought of sending him to the school counselling, will it work?? Did anyone do that before, can share??

trouble already !

no, may be just messaging him :evil: :evil:[/quote]

verykiasu2010:

mummy so kiasu:

Some parents send their kids to single sex schools to prevent BGR. Especially for those who have daughters. For myself, I strongly discourage sec kids to date. They might end up having premature sex. Kids at this age should focus on their study & enjoy their school days instead of stick with their so called partner all the times.

mature or marital ? :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Seriously vk2010,
you are really eagle-eyed. Now I finally understand your 'using right terms'

[pokemon97]

slmkhoo:

pokemon97:

Thanks jedamum, I've did that, i've tried both ways, told him will let him go out after his exam and invite the girl come but it dun work. The girl keep pestering him to go out, she has already planned a lot of programme , ice-skating, movie, dinner. She keep massaging him tell him to persuade us to let him go out...headache. The girl is in normal stream but my boy next year going to take his o level, it really worries me.. :sad: :sad: thought of sending him to the school counselling, will it work?? Did anyone do that before, can share??

Maybe you need ask your son if he thinks the girl cares about his good? Or does he think he doesn't need the studying time? If the girl cares, she will wait until the exams are over to play so much, whether or not she feels the need to study or not. When I was in university and dating my (now) husband, he studied a lot less that I did (he's smarter!) but intentionally limited the time he spent with me during critical work/revision periods for my sake. He wouldn't even tempt me by suggesting activities if he knew I couldn't spare the time. We both knew there was plenty of time after exams for play. Have you tried this approach with your son?

Yes, just told him that yesterday, i told him that if the girl cares for u she will postponed their outing because of u but she didn't, she still go out with her friends though u r not going so she is the type of girl that only think of enjoy. Will talk to him again after this week when his exam over. Thanks slmkhoo, feel better after chatting here :frustrated:

[jedamum]

Try not to paint a poor picture of the girl your boy likes, as you will build more resentment in him. I am brain washing my boy that It is his responsibility to do well academically so he can give his wife and kids a comfortable life. Even if they are just dating, he should keep the big picture in view. Don’t expect your son’s gf to think about his future . Your son has to know that if he loves her, he must work hard at giving them a better life next time.

Jmho. Hope it will work out for you eventually.